Thursday, September 27, 2007

Arts & Crap.




I was a little late to the look-at-me-I-am-Stephanie-Klein party. (Very late now, given that this post I actually wrote a year ago on an old blog...)

Steph blogs about her life. Her blogs are a lot like Sex & the City episodes. Not as charming and a bit rip-off-ish, but whatever. Her blog gets a ton of hits, as I understand it, and her fans are cheery women who respond to Stephanie with the usual you-go-girl fawning that you'd expect. Her detractors, well, you can guess what they are about. They pretty much think Stephanie is just whoring her life out to get a book deal and all that. Which she's done.

Good for her. I mean it.

But here is really the only thing I have the time, interest, or inclination to criticize on her blog. It's the entry describing the scrapbook that her fiance, whom Steph pretentiously and annoyingly calls The Suitor, made for her.

AMERICA. YOU ARE ON NOTICE.

No more scrapbooking. Doesn't Stephanie find it a little creepy that her man spent time with craft glue and fancy parchment and cut pieces with little ric-rac shaped scissors and assembled this saccharine ode to her?



Maybe this is less about Stephanie and the photo-corner-weilding Suitor as it is my disdain for people attempting homey creations when something more elegant might exist to express your love and tenderness. Like jewelry. Or maybe a Katy Grannan monograph (ok, *I'd* like that and that may be be a minority position in these matters).

NO MORE CRAFTING. And for the love of god, PLEASE, no more homemade wedding invitations. This is what the fine art of engraving is for. Too broke for that (I know I am...)? Then go ahead and fire up the ol' Mac and print out something elegant. But if I receive another card with different pieces of robin's egg blue, baby pink, and chocolate paper glued together with grommets or ribbon affixed to an invititation, I am seriously marking it "Return to Sender."

This is life. We're not at summer camp. Put the scissors down. Back away from the craft glue. And if someone creates for you a tender handmade scrapbook for your 30th birthday, kindly thank them for this sweet but misguided jesture. But don't post it on your blog. You'll only shame your Suitor. And yourself.

Greek Tragedy - Stephanie Klein

Oh, and while we are on the topic, I need more than one hand to count the number of shower invitations I have received in the past year with "So and so is registered at ______." Are you serious? Do you really have so little faith that I will come with a gift that you have to violate the one rule of invitation ettiquette that I actually know? That one really bothers me.

Any etiquette horror stories from you guys? I want to collect them all and see who has the worst...

13 comments:

Brilliant Asylum said...

I still don't understand why people who can throw expensive weddings still expect their bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. If the dress is to make YOUR wedding pretty and color-coordinated, why don't you pay for it? Is this just a retarded southern tradition?

Sugar Mama said...

I agree with brilliant asylum! I paid for the bridesmaids' dresses at my wedding because I picked them out according to my style.
My pet peeve is when people have a second baby shower, 2 years after their first with the excuse "it's a boy this time." My sister-in-law did this. To make matters worse, they played the candy bar in the diaper game. Gross.

Mrs. Blandings said...

One of my friends sons was invited to a little boy's birthday party. Tacky mommy went the "send $15 if you'd like to contribute to a group gift." wedding shower route. Oh, my.

And you are spot on on this gal - beachbungalow8 referred me to her not to long ago. I couldn't even stick with it for the amusement factor.

Suzy said...

Too funny! I love your blog. I'm with you on the home-made wedding invitations though, most often its not a good look.

decorno.blogspot.com said...

Brilliant A - I am not even sure it's a retarded souther tradition. I think it's just retarded. It's totally fuckig expensive to be a bridesmaid and never, ever worth it....in fact WHY have bridesmaids? I don't get it. Stand up at the alter and do it on your own.

beachbungalow8 said...

good god. my next post is all about the, obviously forgotten, 'blue book'

Pieter said...

This is outstanding! I know this is completely off topic, but I happened onto your blog about two days ago and I have been devouring all your previous posts! Our financial director is skulking around the studio, probably logging all the time I've spent on your site, but THIS is sooo worth the back lash! The most saucy design blog out there for sure!

ALL THE BEST said...

Love this post! In an Elle interview Klein admitted that maybe she has revealed a bit too much and how she would go on dates even if they sucked because it was something to write about. Sad!

I can always count on you for a good laugh! And Brilliant Asylum is so right!!

Habitually Chic said...

Don't even get me started on the polyester Vera Wang bridesmaid dress that I had to buy for $300 that I ended up throwing away. Before it was altered, my boyfriend say it looked like a sleeping bag. Even my father was shocked that Vera Wang would actually make polyester dresses. To make matter worse, all the girls neglected to take their actual measurements and ordered their dresses too small. It was my worst nightmare. I have already decided that I'm having one attendant, that is if I don't elope!

decorno.blogspot.com said...

Pieter, you totally made my day. :)

BB8/Megan - I am so glad you're going to post about the blue book. Sounds like it's time for everyone to have a refresher course, huh?

Iheartfashion said...

Yes, "writer" Stephanie Klein's blog is occasionally amusing, but more often wince-inducing. The really disturbing thing though, is the comments. She has some incredibly loyal and deranged admirers/defenders!

Meander said...

Decorno - dear God you make me laugh! thanks.
brilliant asylum - as a southern girl, I have to agree this is one of our most ridiculous traditions that really should be outlawed (along with the colours mauve and blue as a decorating scheme!)
sugar mama - I HATE HATE HATE the candy bar in the diaper game, who comes up with this stuff, UGH!

Honestly though a couple of years ago I was in this great wedding with a perfectly fitted salmon dress (which looked good even on my - "just back from 6 months in england" white ass. the best part is that I tacky enough got to use it for one of my best bud's super casual beach wedding last year - best dress I ever bought, if only all brides could be designers of some sort, the world would be a better place!

mamacita said...

The worst thing about scrapbooking is the mommies who make paper shrines to everything little Madison and Tyler do or say. Whole pages devoted to their lackluster t-ball careers, or to their visits with the mall Santa. Gah! Get your own life!

This is a "Things That Are Just Wrong" post -- mommies who need a life outside their children.