Don't even talk to me about the little baby Jesus, because everyone knows Christmas is about making sure that you GIVE properly and without over or under-doing it so that you can avoid all the horrible weird holiday politics.
The other thing about Christmas is that it's a test for women. It's like the GMATs of womanhood. As in: DO YOU HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER?
Because my industry is retail, by the time Nov 15th hits, I am already DONE with the season. Burnt out. I was placing holiday orders in August, so I am exhausted thinking of the holidays and, not to mention, I am just plain tired because my job exhausts me.
That said, I still have to get Christmas done.
Normally, I am on Amazon.com on Dec 22nd, buying books for friends, sporting equipment for the nephews, and electronics for the fiance at the final hour. But this year, I totally fucking refuse to sweat it. Right here, I declare war on the holiday.
CHRISTMAS: I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.
That's right. I said it.
Here's the gameplan:
1) The boss gets a case of wine like last year. Next week I am rounding up the money in advance so that the office isn't paying me back in March.
2) The girls in the office are getting Voluspa candles. I have decided to be a little bit Marian McEvoy-ish in just picking out something small and yummy and sort of buying en masse for my office pals.
3) I am VERY fussy about wrapping paper and ribbon, so today I am going to go buy all my holiday ribbon in bulk from the fabric store, and I am going to go get all the wrapping paper and kraft paper I could possible need for the rest of the year.
4) Gift tags - I bought plain white tags yesterday that I like to string onto fat silk ribbon and tie to bottles of wine, etc. I am all set in this department, except that I think I do prefer the pre-printed ones from Watson & Kennedy (super fab gift shop in Seattle... this is the store Mrs. Bill Gates turned to for wedding gifts for their guests). These tags are kinda snotty and utilitarian all at the same time.
5) Cards. I am ordering this week. Parts of my family just get cash or gift certificates since, well, that's what they like. All these are to be mailed no later than Dec 10th.
6) Emergency gifts: You have to keep 6 bottles of wine at the office with ribbon and tags ready to go in case you get an unexpected gift from a co-worker. The booze arrives at my office no later than 12/15 (since some people leave on vacation and might spring a gift on you beforehand).
There's a lot more to do, for sure, but this will help me get a head start. Stay tuned on my progress. And let me know if any of you have Christmas down to a science. I could use any and all advice.