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Gwyneth. Why we should love her smugness.


So, Leah from the kickass blog asked for a post on Gwyneth, so ye shall receive. And because I am so awfully snarky, I think people assume I would bag on her for the usual reasons:

- she's blond
- she's perfect
- she's a little smug
...and she's cold.

And that last one is really it, I think... she comes across as cold. And really WASP-y for a girl who is descended from a long line of rabbis.

But here's the thing about Gwyneth - you know that list below of things we love? I guarantee that she loves all that shit, too. And the things we HATE (Tiffany, fake-fancy stuff, etc etc), I am pretty damn sure she agrees with most of that, too.

I think we hate her for her coldness and even her whiff of superiority when it comes to being the kind of mother who takes time off her raise her kids; she does have a holier than thou-ness about her decision to stop working and be a parent. GP said, “I made the mistake of working too much and it turned out to be really the wrong thing. I just had a lot of life in 10 years. I worked so much for so long. I achieved a lot early, but I wasn't very happy. At this point in my life, I have a real life.” To hear her say, "I wasn't very happy," and then to know she did something about it is nice to see.

I would pay money to hear "I wasn't very happy" come out of Britney's mouth.

I think a lot of good women, especially the holier-than-thou moms (who happen to drive the living crap out of me) are not bad people. In fact, as obnoxious as it seems, I think a lot of women in relationships and especially with children struggle all the time to keep it together. (Yeah, even rich Gwyneth and even with nanny help.)

How *do* you raise a kid in this grossly child-obsessed culture when all the Joneses are trying to keep up? How do you raise them while trying to keep your career on track, look hot for your husband, etc. etc? I think those women who do this with such grace and finesse are saints. And for those who are less saintly, and a little more uptight, you know what? If uptight helps you keep your head screwed on straight, and helps you keep yourself on the rails, I say, more power to you.

I actually like Gwyneth's slightly superior attitude. I think she really doesn't care what people think, and I think her point in saying things like, "People have become inappropriate. People have pushed too far. People have climbed one too many fences. I'm just tired of it," sounds snotty coming from Glossy McPerfect herself, but honestly, this is a woman who has decided she won't be tabloid fodder, and has controlled her life and image in such a way that she can't be easily exploited by Life & Style. She, in fact, chooses to expoit House & Garden for her second coming. Brizilliant.

That kind of near-bitchy, controlling, uptight attitude comes from a woman who wants to life her life on her own terms. We should love Gwyneth for that.

Of course, it's more amusing to make fun of her weird Donatella look here, so let's have one last laugh (image coming as soon as I can find the damn thing...the one of her on the cover of W magazine looking like the niece of Donatella Versace, weird nude lips, spray-tan and all... ) before we all hold hands and agree that GP is the first ever Official Decorno Annoying Celeb We Love Anyway winner.


Leah said...

Well said.

But still ... no.

Leah said...

Ha! You crack me up. Ok. I like that you take a stand on something and can't be moved, Leah. You're JUST LIKE ME. :)

Sugar Mama said...

Decorno, as a non-fan of Gwyneth's, I feel that I must bring it to your attention that she's showing off this very same house in Us Weekly in a somewhat big story. I kid you not; I read it at the salon this morning. The one with Heidi Montag's plastic surgery on the cover. Ew. said...

Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh.... that Gwenyth! I may have to change my mind about her.

Cote de Texas said...

The funniest thing about GP: at one point she was engaged to Brad Pitt and her family gave them a party to celebrate. There were pictures published in OK, I think and there was this big cake and on it - was written Mazel Tov!!!! hahaha Brad Pitt - Mazel Tov? It just cracks me up thinking about it. Yeah, she's uber Jewish and I love that about her.

coco+kelley said...

oh my god - i love cote de texas' comment. it's totally true that we love to hate gwyneth, and i adored your post, becuase goddam she's gorgeous and waspy and ridiculous, but like you said, she's done it the way she wanted to do it and cheers to THAT!

Paloma said...

I have to say that I am akin to her snobbiness. I really don't find anything wrong with it. I think she still seems somewhat down to earth, but she has opinions and knows what she wants. Decorno, I seem to agree with so many of your opinions. You know what they say. Great minds...

Meander said...

Oh so glad to read that you, too, responded to dear Leah's post! I'm totally with you. I love Gwen and yet I hate Gwen I think the strange thing is in fact that while I like her as a celebrity because of her cold snobbery and yet I would not repeat would NOT want to be friends with her because of her cold snobbery. . .her husband on the other hand, he and I could get along!

ALL THE BEST said...

I hate to say it, but I am just so neutral when it comes to Gwyneth. Don't love her, don't hate her...she just doesn't do much for me.

Brilliant Asylum said...

Oh Thinneth, how you drive me mad! Anyone who brags about how healthy their hair is despite it being double-processed is just mean.

Leah said...

Too funny:

OK, I'm really, seriously done thinking about Gwynnie now.


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