1) Hello weird chest bones. SJP - please eat a brownie or two.
2) Where are her breasts?
3) It's either your ass or your face... as women age, you kind of have to choose. Sarah - we're saying more junk in the trunk if it means you can get a little more fat in your face. Look at you!!! You are nothing but bones... having sex with you must be like having sex with a pile of paper clips. You're falling apart!
4) Get that feather out of your head.
5) Minus the fact that the breast-y bits look like they will fly away, that is one amazing dress.
Hurry up and finish that damn movie and bump up the release date, girl. We like you, but if Perez keeps blasting photos of you every day, we will have seen the whole movie flip-book style before the end of the year.