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Virtual Un-Gifting

Some of my very favorite bloggers out there have been virtual gifting (and I love that I am the only one to whom certain bloggers have chosen to give BOOZE vs., say, a lovely suzani... I am not sure what that says about me..). Well, there are just so many of you I adore and I am not sure I would do the best job picking out just the right thing for everyone.

Soooooo, what I can offer, my blogging friends (and even the readers and quiet lurkers of this fancy blog) is this: a list of what I will not be giving you for Christmas. Believe me. You're gonna thank me.

This burl lamp.

Lovesac? I would never ever buy you something that both looks and sounds like a testicle. And that's final.

Wow. Not even sure what to say here. It vibrates and it's in "great shape." Minus the Cheetos between the cushions and the indentation where someone's warm, sweaty ass sat for about 22 years.

This "striking" fainting couch. If ugly can make you faint, then yeah, I get it.

These are just a few of the things I am NOT getting you for Christmas. The awesome part is that with this kind of un-gift, you don't even owe me a thank you card. See? We all win.


beachgrl said...

Let me be the first to thank you for NOT getting me any of those wonderful gifts!

In(side) the Loop said...

This post was hilarious! You are so so clever!!

maison21 said...

i would have taken the burl lamp, but i appreciate you NOT giving the testicle thing.

you crack me up, decorno. i thought i was the only one that had seen ads for that lovesac thing and thought it sounded kinda dirty.

Preppy 101 said...

I just found your blog and can't stop reading it! It is wonderful!!!! I completely agree with you on the lovesac. {I can hardly stand to write the word.} I know someone who has one. I visited once and they kept saying - come over here and sit on the lovesac... I wanted to say I wouldn't sit on that thing if you held a gun to my head. I sat on the hearth :-) The LS is so tacky, redneck, gross, college dorm room, frat house, etc. appropo. I mean do real "grown-ups" have those things - ;-)

Annie said...

I just found your blog and have to tell you that this post has brought tears to my eyes. The 'oh no she didn't say that oh yes she did' kind of tears! I am very glad to know that you will not be gifting anyone the lovesac. Still cannot stop laughing. Also cannot wait to read more...

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