Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Forbes Life Executive Woman

Yep. That's an orchid on the table. Nick Olsen is right.

My fiance, who works in advertising, brings home all kinds of random magazines for me (includng Architectural Digest, which I roll up and use to scrape dog shit out of Rickey's litter box... yes, my dog uses a box, don't make fun of him...).

Anyhoo, so I am deaf.

Ok, not really deaf, but I am actually a little hard of hearing (I go get a big fancy test TOMORROW, actually. I hope I get a hearing aid so I can just turn it off and ignore everyone just like my grandfather did pretty much his whole fucking life).

So, the fiance calls out to me from another room (something I hate since I can't really hear and I generally need to look at a person's mouth to understand every word) and says, "Do you want Coors Light Executive Woman?" And I am thinking, "What the fuck?"

Immediately I think he's brought home some random Coors Light Executive Woman calendar or something. Of course I am thinking, this is a bad idea, Coors people. How can you be so 1970s? THANK GOD you have hired my brilliant fiance to fix your ad campaign.

And then I walk into the front room and see that he has brought home Forbes Life Executive Woman.


This whole magazine is all about fashion, really. NOT women in business. They actually profile "The world's most stylish executive recruiter." Um, ok. So?

Here's a newsflash: most women working in fashion (or design or magazines) don't make any fucking money. Most are not "executives." If Forbes wants to feature female movers & shakers, most aren't going to be hot. At all. Hasn't Forbes met Meg Whitman??? (Sorry Meg, but admit it... you don't even try to be hot. At all.)

We all know what the "executive woman" really looks like. She wears moderate shoes, ill-advised haricuts, bad turtlenecks (are there any good ones?) and probably a dumb work bag. And because she isn't wasting her time trying to pre-order the next Balenciaga jacket, she's getting shit done for her company.

Executive life isn't that sexy. Forbes made a pretty good fashion/lifestyle/decor magazine with this Executive Woman issue. But why did they ruin it with the pretense of actually covering the topic of woman in business? Surely they weren't serious about the topic anyway.

I hope the publisher comes out with Lady Lawyer Magazine or Woman Doctor Digest real soon.


Anonymous said...

But it's like when Elle Decor shows some house full of $75,000 Nakashima dining tables and Jean-Michel Frank sideboards and the owner protests, "But we really do live in our living room!" and "We like having 20 people over for spaghetti dinners on Sunday nights!" and "Our kids play on all the furniture in their wet bathing suits!"

fashiongirl said...

I always thought Carly Fiorina was kind of hot. At least she had a decent hair cut and a stylist.

Christine in DC said...

Here's a piece I'm going to pitch to them: "I'm so glad I became an executive. Sure, I have to do icky things like steamroll the competition during the day, but there's nothing I like more than a good shopping trip at the end of it and in all my ample spare time. When my fellow executives say 'We're going to have to pull an all-nighter,' I think 'Cool! I'll bring the mud mask!' I don't see why we can't start every staff meeting with fashion critiques." Ugh. This had me laughing, though.

Decorno said...

I agree. Carly was pretty foxy in a "I fuck while reading a balance sheet" kind of way.

kebm said...

Had to laugh at this because not only is it RIGHT ON, but my husband calls me "lady lawyer" all the time. Clearly I need to sex up my work attire a bit!

JJ said...

That's so weird. I've already scheduled my topless pictoral for Lady Lawyer BOOBS.

Robin said...

Wait, you mean female execs don't actually dress like those chicks on Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle? Damn, who am I going to get to be my mentor now?

Anonymous said...

I saw a list of top woman execs in ?can't remember? a few years ago, and yes Carly Fiorina looked reasonable, but so did a number of other women. They were probably way too busy to pose for fashion ads. When did you see a photoshoot of sexy top ten male CEO's. Yikes. Great call on this one.

Anonymous said...

Meg Whitman kind of looks like a lady Dwight D. Eisenhower. Or maybe like Macaulay Caulkin's aunt.

Still, she heads eBay, and that's hot enough for me.

MABELLE said...

I was reading this post on a train yesterday, (I had made the tragic mistake of sitting in the "quiet car") and ended up BURSTING OUT LAUGHING so hard that I woke up 3 people across from me! hahaha- oops! Nice work, as usual ;)

executive women said...

You know, I was a little surprised that Forbes decided to make an executive women magazine. Are we that much different at work than men? Apparently so. The fashion aspect was fascinating. Now I know how to dress like an executive! :)