Friday, May 30, 2008

News of the world:



1. I learned that I have an extra bone growing in the back of my ankle. Gross. About 7% of the general population has it. Signs? You feel a distinct pinching pain when you point your toes. I rarely need to point my toes which explains why at 32, this has finally been discovered.

2. The heel and ankle bones in my right foot are fusing together. It's called fibrous coalition. I learned that on this one, it occurs in less than 1% of the population. Why can't my odds be so good when I am entering a raffle? Why this? So lame. Nevertheless, I fear that fixing my foot problem may obligate me to actually abandon my sedentary lifestyle. Fuck.

3. The Drink of the Week is a mojito. I got a little off track with this new program, but then I spied rum in our fridge, which I didn't know we even stocked at Chateau Decorno. And conveniently, I have bunch of mint in pots that are begging to be harvested for my drinking pleasure.

4. My job is kicking my ass.

5. I am worried that blogging is just scrapbooking for computer users. This concerns me. A lot.

6. My landscaper brought the planting plans over. I have a BINDER full of tear sheets of the things I love, which I showed him at my first meeting. I also already have tons of lavender, rosemary, mint, and other specific plants growing and his plan included NONE of them... except daphne, which I told him I love, but pointed out at the first meeting that it's toxic to dogs. I am not pleased to know he's trying to kill Rickey.

7. I am the one woman in America not going to see Sex & the City tonight. It's sold out at any theater I would dare drive to. (Not going to Oak Tree near Aurora, if you know what I mean, Seattlites...)

8. The other day, NPR was playing the Sex & The City theme (the new big band jazzy one) between segments and that made me smile. It's truly a classic TV theme song, huh?

9. I paid off my car today. It's now officially the most expensive thing I own. I feel like a grown up. I am so excited that I now have an extra $250 a month to spend on hookers and coke.



What's the news of your world? Who saw/is seeing SATC?

39 comments:

mrlfvl said...

Bless you Decorno...I am right there with you...sort-of. #1&2-I have had achilles tendonitis for years so that I cannot point my toes. Not that I do very often, but it means that every time I wear heels for longer than an hour, I lose feeling in all of my toes. #3-my drink is always cheap white wine. I love me a mojito, but we have no decent liquor in the house...unless you think "montezuma" is good - anything that is usually associated with "revenge" can't be good in my mind... #4-I do love my job, but whoever thought that a short week after a vacation weekend was a good thing should be shot. #5- decorno does NOT equal online scrap-booker - that is all I have to say about that. #6-FIRE anyone who even remotely alludes to killing your darling precious Pug... #7-I am another American Woman not seeing SATC tonight b/c I am homebound due to my hubby's "big night out." which probably involves someone bleeding, someone urinating on someone else, and someone hurling in the street. #8 - no comment. #9 - don't worry...the joy of paying off a depreciating piece of shit is short lived. But do keep basking in the "extra money" - #10 - your soon-to-be-hubby is a hottie...I think mine is too and at the end of the day...as cheeeeeezy as it sounds - lovin each other is what matters most..
Cheers - I'm gonna go pour my 5th I mean 2nd glass of wine...

Anonymous said...

I saw it. Charlotte is killed in a knife fight. She's stabbed with a steak knife at a polygamous compound.

Decorno said...

You have totally ruined the movie for me, Anon. Thanks a lot.

Forever Chic said...

Ok, I am just intensely curious what causes your bones to fuse together. Is it something that happens with age? Can it be prevented?

Also, drink an extra mojito for me.

I'm not seeing the SATC movie...not tonight and probably not ever. Take THAT!

Leah said...

Did you take your fiance's picture down? I just bopped over from my RSS reader to say, "Day-um!" But now he's gone ...

kelly said...

I saw SATC this morning with about 20 other women (and about 3 men). I loved it. Loved it.

Laughed, cried, and left the theater feeling emotionally charged and missing my girlfriends (and considered sitting through it again, but realized that I needed to face the day). I don't think you will be disappointed. The clothes alone are worth it.

Anonymous said...

If you have one bone fusing with another, but then you have an extra bone, it's a wash, right? Even-steven?

It's not like you absorbed a secret twin as a fetus and it's now embedded in your abdomen.

(That would be a weird support group, for people with secret twins...)

Sucker For Marketing said...

Well, shit. I hadn't thought about that scrapbooking thing until now. I was happy in my own little blogging world until this. I think we SHOULD be worried about the potential online scrapbook we are creating.

I love me some mojito too. The muddling thing gets me a little frustrated, but it is also good for taking out my frustrations.

I did not tonight nor will I probably ever see SATC. I just don't get all into those really hyped things. I mean, the show was funny most of the times I saw it, but I just don't get into making my evening around a tv show.

I know that it is hard to believe I am one of Scented Glossy Magazine's oldest friends, and I don't get into that stuff, but I must have another one or two redeeming qualities she likes.

visual vamp said...

Saw it, loved it. You can read more on my blog. Hope your fused bone stops aching. The movie might take your mind off of it...

Decorno said...

It's not a secret twin fetus absorbed into my foot, which is disappointing because then I could claim it as a dependent. Dammit!

Forever Chic - the good news is, it had nothing to do with my fierce pumps, so to all you hot bitches who roll in 3+ inchers, you are ok (for now). It's either genetic or the result of trauma or injury to the joint area which then leads to cysts or other fibers & bone kind of fusing together.

Sadly, I don't remember the "trauma." Could just be the weight of a lifetime addicted to Skor bars bearing down on my poor little ankle joints.

If you have severe and specific ankle paint after 3 - 4 hours of walking or standing, and then can't walk the next morning, and even consider scooting down your stairs on your butt because you can't apply any weight to your ankles, then that's a pretty good diagnosis. Just FYI. Oh, and if it starts when you're 8 years old, you should probably handle it then and not just try to "tough it out" until you're 32. Just sayin'.

Can't tell you how excited I am to have a legitimate reason to ask my people to fetch things for me now. I've already asked them to bring my drink to me and to turn down the radio because "I have fibrous coalition." Awesome.

An Aesthete's Lament said...

doesn't a fusion coalition sound like a political action group?

Anonymous said...

mrlfvl,

Does your husband really bleed, vomit, and pee in public? Judging by your photograph, you look like you'd be married to a nice fellow with a master's in library science, not a public urinator.

maison21 said...

1- you are a mutant.

2- see above- expect local villagers with torches and pitchforks any minute.

3- you deserve to get drunk- have fun. i'm having a cocktail in your honor as i type.

4- your job is gonna kick your ass more with a mojito hangover on monday, so try to polish off that bottle by saturday night/sun morning, ok?

5- blogging MIGHT be the new scrapbooking for some, but for others? it's free publicity! visit http://maison21.blogspot.com! see what i mean?

6- fire him. your landscaper should be aware of what plants are toxic to pets- if rickey was a human baby, and you hired maison21 to decorate his nursery and i suggested a lead paint on the walls, you'd fire me, right? if you don't want to fire him, at least make him feel really, really, guilty and try to get free stuff from him- you owe rickey that much...

7- i am a sad and hypocritical homosexual- after declaring loudly to anyone who would listen that i could care less about the satc movie, as it seemed tired and dated, i bought tickets for a sunday matinee. and if charlotte really dies in a knife fight, anon will die too...

8- makes me smile too (see above- "sad and hypocritical homosexual").

9- honey, i don't know what kind of hookers and blow you can get for $250.00, (maybe a crack ho and a couple of rocks?), but i suggest you'd be wiser to save that money for car repairs. or rehab.

have a great weekend and stay off those feet, ok?

Suzy said...

I am aching after a day of renovating...but you still managed to make me laugh...and so did M21. I feel a bit sad that I'm not seeing the SATC movie tonight...it's not out here til next Thursday. Not so happy about the scrapbooking thought though...so I'll be drowning my aching joints (not my ankles, thankfully) with my drink of the ever, a G&T.

mrlfvl said...

It's not usually my husband doing those things...at least not the bleeding and urinating part. He has some questionable friends - you know the type...35 yrs old living in their parents basement...they are the ones bleeding and peeing...

I *Heart* You said...

i saw SATC last night. it was pretty damn good. the fashion montages are a kick and that effing kristin davis has not aged a day. i wonder if sjp secretly hates her for that.

Lucky said...

See, but the comparison to scrapbooking doesn't bother me so much because scrapbooking connotes clutter. Closing my laptop = instant cleanliness!

BTW, long-time reader, first-time commenter. Regrettably, I am originally from Tacoma (sigh) but I am currently a second-year PhD student in clinical psychology in DC. I want to move to Portland after I graduate and get a cute little house kind of like yours (and maybe a man like yours-- does he have a homosexual twin?) and work as a psychologist specializing in racial and ethnic minority populations.

As a 23-year-old gay man, I too should have been in line with the Manolo mamas waiting to see SATC. I've never seen an entire episode of the show, though. I might see it in a couple of weeks when the obsessiveness has died down, but I worry that I might not get any of the inside jokes or running gags since I haven't followed the series.

You are fabulous! I heart decorno (the concept) and Decorno (the lady)!

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to the sequel in which they all join that polygamous sect and have to wear those prairie dresses with the puffy sleeves and have their hair done up in buns. "Sex and the Compound."

muranogirl said...

LOVED THE MOVIE! I saw it at 10:15 am at a downtown mall, (just above Bloomingdales) here in San Francisco.
I did not expect to cry and I did. Like Kelly said, I too left the theater missing my girlfriends and I also realized how much I miss my weekly dose of those four characters.
The clothes ARE fabulous. In fact after seeing the movie I ran into Bloomingdales for a fix. I had to draw the line at Barneys and get my ass into the carpool line to pick the kids up -- fantasy over!

Anonymous Hardware Guy said...

Decorno: I've broken my left ankle 5 times - the last time got me flushed from the Marine Corps. Doctors told me I'd walk with a limp the rest of my life. Exercise has prevented all of the potential horror so far.

Am I the only person who thinks of SJP: God made her as ugly as he could, then kicked her in the face?
I am at a serious loss regarding what propels the careers SJP and other famous people. Actors pretend to do what every one of us does every day for free.

Anonymous said...

She's ugly now, but she was pretty, at least intermittently, in the series. And she wears clothes well.

Lisa & Alfie Wilson said...

I am so very afraid that someone IS going to ACCIDENTALLY spill the beans before I get to see SATC tuesday. I might have to start drinking mojitos immediately and keep drinking through till tuesday morning. That way I won't remember if anyone "slips" and I'll have all day tuesday to sober up so I will remember the movie!
Lisa & ALFIE

Fifi Flowers said...

Dressed up "a la Sex and the City... slutty shoes and all" along with 4 girlfriends and plied with cosmos we SAW SATC! A theatre FULL of women... two handfuls of men... when the music came on the CROWD went WILD! All showings were sold out at the theatre... but we purchased tickets online mid-week... there was NO way I was missing out! Hope you see it this weekend... LOVED IT!

kee said...

yes, sadly we are scrapbooking, my dear.

hope your foot results come back soon & with good results!

and as far as sjp not being so pretty.... thank god that someone in hollywood tried a different sort of face... and actor - with character. she knows how to accent her positives very well!

totally agree that actors are completely overpaid,... for what? pretending, yep.

still... hoping to see the movie tonight : )

Kwana said...

I totally saw SATC and LOVED it. had a blast! I'm so cliche, but I don't freakin care.

I'm very disturbed about #5 the scrap booking thing. It rings way too true to me. Uh-oh. we are all techno scrap bookers that just don't shop at Michael's in the Martha section. Ugh!

Sarah's Fab Day said...

The scrapbooking thing...ewwhhh! Kinda true and it's worrying me. I'm usually the snarky bitch that laughs in people's face when they say they scrapbook and now it's me.

SGM said...

Now see, I would have spent that extra money on hookers and Pepsi.

I saw SATC tonight. Liked it, but I had seen soooo many clips and read so much press that I felt as if I had already seen most of the movie.

Christine in DC said...

As I said in another post, I love ya! Anyway, I just saw SATC and loved it too. Not Oscar-worthy, but who cares? It's made me seriously want to buy some shoes and move to NYC. If my friend hadn't been so smart as to hook a bunch of us up with tickets by buying early, I would probably have ended up seeing it on DVD, so I feel ya.

Christine in DC said...

Oh, and I meant to say that I have some sort of "accessory" bone in my ankle...what is it with the variety in ankle anatomy?

Anonymous said...

sgm: I was fantasizing about extra $$$ for hookers and cat litter myself.

kassy said...

Not going to see SATC either and especially do not relish seeing any movie at Oak Tree. As I am sitting up this late working I wish I had me a mojito. Oh and I agree, fire the landscaper - none of the stuff you like except what is poisonous to that handsome little doggy of yours, he's definitely gotta go.

Anonymous said...

The LAST (emphasize last) time I went to the Oak Tree, we went out the side exit to avoid the crowds after the movie and ran into a woman shooting up. Gross!

ps fire your landscaper!! There are so many great gardeners/landscape talent in Seattle!

Anonymous said...

If we are scrapbookers (eek!) then what does that make our readers? (and US for that matter as we all are readers/lurkers/contributors?? )

I mean when was the last time you read or flipped through SOMEONE ELSE'S scrapbook?! Can you think of anything worse? I think there is better stuff out there than just scrap.

I do agree that many blogs are definitely leaning toward the scrap-booking genre. (I really don't want to know that your kid had diarhea yesterday and that it was breezy in your town...about as much as I want to look through pics (and cute captions!) of someone's family trip to Omaha.)

Decorno perhaps you should set up a system of rating blogs by scrapi-ness: a scrapi-meter?

Mrs. Blandings said...

Elaine - I have been thinking over the scrap booking thing since you posted. I like blogging, so it wouldn't put me off of it, but, as a great over-thinker, I couldn't let it go. My only, perhaps unoriginal, thought is that the comments are what saves it. If we are all creating little virtual magazines, doesn't it make it a bit more interesting that we are reading each others and weighing in? Like the editors of all your favorite print magazines getting together for cocktails? It's just a thought, but the daily interaction makes it fun. For me. And, yes, I have real friends, too.

Anonymous said...

Huh?

Decorno's name is Elaine?

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:40--Are you a detective? Because those are some mad detecting skills you've got there.

becky from hatch said...

blogging is scrapbooking for computer users. Oh my God, I almost fell off my chair when I read that! Hilarious. If it's true, I might have to throw away my computer!

alis said...

I was thinking I would watch SATC at home, but then all the hype in the blog world got me excited, until a fucking idiot "writer" put some hard-core spoilers in her fucking stupid column in the NEWSPAPER. Who does that???!! I was tempted to send her hate mail, but chickened out on harrassing her from my work e-mail.
I hate Turkish newspapers and their idiotic writers. It is the same way I got Harry Potter spoilers(in the fucking headline in big bold puntos) about a very major character's death. Damn.

gigi said...

meh, at the risk of commenting twice and looking like a spampacker I will repeat myself since the first one did not go through...

I am late to the party here (and also am a lurker until now) but I must address no. 6 on your list. Please please PLEASE keep your mint in pots, otherwise it will take over your whole garden. A pot or two should be sufficient for mojitos and chutney making.

BTW I love your style and sense of humor and sensibility and what you are doing here. Keep up the good scrapbooking! :)