Thursday, May 1, 2008

Ouch.




Funny. What's below is from HERE by Elizabeth Spiridakis.
(And, um, super-ouch on the Butterfinger comment!)



The closer we get to the May 30th release of the “Sex and the City” movie, the more these promo pics keep popping up. They are presumably meant to spark our interest in what promises to be two hours of relentless shopping, dating and complaining. But we’re much more interested in the behind the scenes goss because this picture suggests it was no slumber party happy times on that set.

This forced group hug is:

Very very uncomfortable. They look so disconnected and like they hate each other as much as the tabloids suggest. Would anyone be surprised if this picture turned out to be four separate images photoshopped together?
Very ladies who lunch…on the blood of virgins and sacrificed lambs. They all have crazy eye!

We’re also getting very different vibes from each of these ladies:

Kim Cattrall is:

Very “Real Housewives of New York.” Aren’t cougars out by now? Her face is frozen in a hate smile mask and we can just hear her hissing, “If your skinny little shoulder comes even close to blocking my cleavage, I will cut you, Parker.”
Very Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter, the kind of woman whose diamonds are older than her boyfriends.
Sarah Jessica Parker is

Very Julia Roberts Oscar speech forced sincerity. Gee whiz, wow, I’m a star? I love everyone! Wheee!
Very Cha-cha de Gregorio meets Teen Vogue prom styling.
Cynthia Nixon is:

Very post sex-scandal humiliated wife. We have seen this face — the forced smile! — a lot lately in the news except behind Nixon’s is the awful realization that whatever amount of cash she was paid was not worth all this.
Very Forever 21 fun summer shift and matching belt. Definitely not the slick Miranda we remember.
Kristin Davis is

Very J Crew bridal collection (always the bridesmaid limited edition).
Very “Oohh, who dropped that butterfinger on the floor and can I have it?”


****

Nevertheless... the movie opens n 30 days and I. CAN'T. WAIT.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

The awkwardness is palpable.

Kwana said...

I'm dying to see the movie but have a feeling there will be only 2scenes, TOPS, with the 4 of them together. It does look terribly disjointed. A total reject photo that they just had to use. Poor Kristin, not even looking at the camera.

Kwana said...

I'm dying to see the movie but have a feeling there will be only 2scenes, TOPS, with the 4 of them together. It does look terribly disjointed. A total reject photo that they just had to use. Poor Kristin, not even looking at the camera.

Libby said...

Yikes. Based just on that terrible, TERRIBLE picture, Elizabeth Spiridakis' commentary is right on the money...SJP looks obnoxious and Cynthia Nixon & Kim Cattrall looks absolutely miserable.

However, as awkward and poorly styled as this picture is, I'm not any less excited about getting to see 2 more hours of SATC on the big screen. I can't WAIT for the movie either (May 30th is marked on all of my calendars), so I'm going to choose to believe that this was just a bad shot that should have never been published as a promotional photo.

birdy said...

Why do I have a feeling this movie is going to be terrible, and feel a little desperate?

Anonymous said...

The preview I've seen looks remarkably sluggish. Very little energy. Someone is late, someone looks worried, someone says "We have a problem"... It's the most lethargic looking preview I've seen.

Richie Designs said...

oh yah that photo not so good. If that's the best they could come up with in photo editing...ouch.

I am counting the days though and planning ways of taking a pitcher of cosmos into the theater with all my gay male friends.

Anonymous said...

I am looking forward to seeing who dies.

My guess:

Stanford. Heart attack.

maison21 said...

the teenage son of one of my design clients, had these immortal words regarding the movie:

"it's five years too late- who cares?"

out of the mouths of babes...

Anonymous said...

Some of the comments at the Times article may be more entertaining than the movie will be. This cracked me up:

"Good for them! May they have sequel upon sequel upon sequel till they wind up in a retirement home with two teeth, four pubic hairs and a martini."

Anonymous said...

Can't believe the Times' website would allow "pubic hair"!

SJP's face is hard to look at these days. It's not ugly, exactly, but it's so hard and muscular, it's like looking at a clenched fist.

Anonymous said...

Yep. Clenched fist.

Or an asshole.

Anonymous said...

That sounds more like Hilary Duff.

mrlfvl said...

Between Cynthia Nixon's cankles and SJP's tragic turn in that train-wreck of a wedding gown with some sort of plumage on her head - I am utterly on the edge of my seat to see this movie! I can make fun of them all day long, but I still love SATC - check out this still though - what is UP with Kim's hair??? That shot looks like a scene from "Death Becomes Her"
http://tv.popcrunch.com/sex-and-the-city-movie-filming-completed/

Ana said...

you hit the nail on the four heads. still can't wait to see all the clothes!

Jenny said...

Why does SJP always do that move? (scream, look up and throw her head back?)
Someone needs to do her and us a favor and tell her that it's not cute.
Still excited for the movie though.

Anonymous said...

The movie wasn't made for 15-year-old boys.

Robin said...

Someone please tell Kim that there comes a time in every girl's life when she must start wearing a bra.

Fifi Flowers said...

Who cares about them... it's all about us... we have planned a chick trip to the movie and cosmos after to critic and laugh and have FUN... at their expense apparently... we don't care if they truly get along do we... as long as we are entertained! Besides their hatered is all the way to the BANK! They should be wearing GREEN instead of red!

Anonymous said...

"their hatered is all the way to the BANK!"

huh?

Halfmad said...

Well, this still smacks of lady-shaming to me. Do we read stories about the men of Ocean's whatever not getting along or looking hard in the face or big in the ankles or whatever?

Maybe the movie premise is stupid, but let's not perpetuate more nothing-you-do-can-ever-be-or-look-good-enough hate on other women.

Turquoise said...

I have to admit that being a huge SATC fan, I dont care how bad or good the movie will be. I am just dying to see it!

I cant wait till May30th but better yet I am trying to watch an early agency screener so I can get the 411! And of course hit the big screen two more times cuz you know I am gonna need me some more SATC love.

I might even have a party (like the three others ones I had back in the day) and get some trivia all up in here, since I now have the game. Oh I am serious! Anyone went to come over? Lets make this happen, Oh and BTW I'm in LA.

Remember the very first episodes when Carrie would talk to the screen and they nixed it. Not a great move for the show and most of us thought hummm is this show going to make it? A little tweaking later and look at what is has become.

I was with friends the other day and made some SATC comment (that only my peeps would know) and w ALL died laughing.

Thank god we had this show! It related to at least one of our dates, some friend, or someone we met or some situation we experienced. I can say from my experience (given this was a few years ago) that those experiences where my life and related to me in such a personal way.

I will and forever be a SATC fan.
I'm telling you I cant wait!!!

But what I really want to see is SJP's 88 wardrobe changes, Smith (hubba hubba) the big (no pun) mystery of what Carrie and Mr.Big will do to live happily ever after.

And those pics above are kinda odd but man WHO cares, just tell me where my seats are can you please get me the perfectally buttered popcorn and the Cherry Coke and I will be in movie theater heaven!

I am so ridiculously excited!

BTW I saw some "images" (about 6 years of Kristen Davis.) And I don't care about what I saw, well I kinda did but with all that put aside I STILL cant wait to see the movie.

Let know if you want me to have a party. I am thinking themed but it could be an option?

Anonymous said...

The image IS photoshopped. Look closely and you can see Kristin Davis's heels are not touching the ground. Her image has been titled forward to make her body look "closer" to the group. But the real giveaway is Cynthia Nixon's legs. Look how far down they extend, below the feet of the others. If this was a single image it would mean she was leaning so far backwards she would be falling over.

decorno said...

Anon wrote: "Maybe the movie premise is stupid, but let's not perpetuate more nothing-you-do-can-ever-be-or-look-good-enough hate on other women."

The problem is... these women aren't even trying. It's like the joke is on us for still being interested while the rest of them (maybe except SJP) are totally over it.

I don't care if they are so wrinkled that they need to spackle their faces before make-up. I just think that if they claim to be actors, they could at least get into character for this. They look lazy & distracted.

Anonymous said...

There is something about this movie, coming out at this time, that is bringing out a lot of scorn or resentment or something. These actors are doomed. The reviews have already been written.

Halfmad said...

Hey, I didn't go anon! And there is nothing one can do about cankles, sad to say. : ) (I am both Mary T and Halfmad; i have a split personality)

Anonymous said...

I've always liked that the show portrayed Cynthia Nixon's body realistically (the Weight Watcher's storyline, etc.). Isn't that what smart women viewers have been asking for--a realistic view of women's bodies? So it's depressing to see a woman commenter tsk-tsk the actress' ankles for not meeting some standard of sleekness.

Anonymous said...

Kim and probably Kristen were photoshopped in. Not a good photo. I don't think the concept is going to translate well to the big screen, and it's a stale concept at this point anyway. But, I like all of these actresses, for their sake I hope it does well.