Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Hello from NY.


I can't believe I didn't post yesterday. I post EVERYDAY. Oh well.

Anyhoo, I am in NY for work and it's been busy. And hot. Today was really hot. Sticky and gross, as it always is when you're hauling your ass around to meetings carrying a bag that weights 40 pounds (how can my wallet, Blackberry, and notebook weigh so much???).

I wish I hadn't been too lazy to take a photo of this GIGANTIC woman wearing an open-back summer dress. She had monsterous rolls of backfat spilling out and it was both appalling and magnificent. The whole mess said to me: "Fuck this shit... it's HOT out, and I already know I am fat, so at least I am going to stay cool and dry."

She was definitely more "air conditioned" than me at that point, so she won, really. I was the loser hobbling around in all black, ready to pass out while she aired out in her floaty, not-quite-there hankerchief.

23 comments:

Fifi Flowers said...

WOW... you're in NY... FUN... if you haven't seen SATC... you should see it there!
BTW... You are hilarious! Enjoy NY sticky and all!

Simone said...

Pure comedy! Hilarious

country general said...

Hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

I think we should make the enormous fat lady a Godhead in our new religion.

Habitually Chic said...

So funny! I was just wondering if the reason you didn't post was because you were traveling! I wore white today but my hair started a frizz by the end of the day. I can't wait until Auguest! Hope you brought an umbrella for tomorrow! Let me know when you ever have time to grab a drink!

Decorno said...

Like Kathy Najimy. I love her.

Anonymous said...

Kathy Najimy: complete and total fan.

She voices Peggy Hill, Hank's wife on "King of the Hill." One of the great characters in TV history.

Kwana said...

I love that story and I love her! I'll think of her as I freely bare my arms this summer and just not care. It's too freakin hot and life is too short. I know I will not tone them up in the next week and a half anyway so I'll either get over it or sweat to death and I'm not ready to die. See you in the fair city!

kate (pm) said...

oh,boy. today was hot (now that i think about it, I wore white & taupe instead of black & more black), but not NYC gross & sticky hot. major magnificence comes out in August! ;)

it's nice, cool & breezy now - hope you are able to enjoy nyc in the evening instead! suppose to rain tomorrow anyway.

stay cool & Keep Posting, Decorno!

Anonymous said...

I love NYC, too! But, I read this in the NYTimes a few weeks ago and it left me feeling exceptionally... deflated.

" New York City has always been defined by the yawning gap between its haves and have-nots. But the last 15 years have witnessed the rise of a class of financiers whose salaries and bonuses have reached staggering heights. Over the last five years, the median compensation for a managing director working in investment banking rose from $650,000 to $1.37 million, according to Johnson Associates, a compensation consulting firm.

That is a pittance compared with hedge-fund managers. The highest-paid managers earned at least $240 million a year in 2006, according to the Institutional Investor’s Alpha magazine, nearly double the amount of 2005 (and up from a minimum of $30 million in 2002).

Their pay — and eagerness to spend it — has encouraged the growth of a luxury market in everything from groceries to restaurants to spas to specialty boutiques. Witness the Marc Jacobs-ization of the West Village, the surging average price of a two-bedroom apartment in Harlem to $1.1 million, and the rise of $15 tubs of ice cream in, of all places, the Lower East Side, at Il Laboratorio del Gelato. "

visual vamp said...

Anon 8:57 - Aw lighten up and let the girl have fun in New York! There are have and have nots every palce. And right now she has it all - a job, a blog, and a business trip to NYC! Woohoo! Have fun Elaine - (and stop making fun of fat girls! LOL)

Joanna Goddard said...

enjoy new york! :)

Christine in DC said...

Gosh, I love NY...gotta go sometime soon...I wish I had a work trip, though, because day trips are brutal and hotels are crazy expensive!

As a rather fat woman myself, I admire other fat women who just don't give a hoot. I'm always covering up my monster arms with cardigans...finally, last year, I was like forget this, and bared them! DC summers don't work in long sleeves!!!

muranogirl said...

too funny!!
Go to ABC Home for me!

Susannah said...

Dude. You didn't need to take a photo of back fat woman--you described her perfectly! How magnificent! Like the Venus of Willendorf on a hot day!

becky from hatch said...

Funny, the NYTimes just had an article about how the haves don't have as much lately and thus are spacing out highlight appointments and selling their jewels on the down-low while they try to keep up appearances in front of the other haves.

You are so funny, I can't believe I just now found this blog!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I posted this comment yesterday and now it's gone! Cyberspace is so unpredictable. What I said is if Decorno is so shocked by an obsese woman than Decorno should travel more. You're sounding awfully provincial.

none said...

Anon 1:17: You, on the other hand, so terribly, terribly sophisticated.

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:57 here. Yeah, I suppose I ought to lighten up. But, I'm still drunk with joy from our astoundingly frank discussion back in April about how much money people actually earn, spend and need. Just wanted to apply old topic with this new post about NYC. Now if only I could find a way to work bacon and Domino magazine criticism into this post, all would be right with the world...

Madeleine said...

nah, it's ok. don't lighten up. it's more interesting when someone, at least, isn't lightening up. i for one am gonna go put on my four hundred dollar pumps, get into my hummer, and go eat some meat.

decorno said...

Hi Anon - I only deleted it because it wasn't accurate. I wasn't shocked by it. I was disappointed I didn't get a photo of it! It was excellent.

Just re-read the post and you will see what I mean.

franki durbin said...

don't you love all that ballsy behavior? I'd never roll out (sorry) like that. But then you see someone flaunting it - AND they are so comfortable. It's head scratching sometimes. ;)

If you've got it...

BTW, I've started paying a lot more attention to how much the empty handbag weight before I buy it. Some Chloe bags weight 3 pounds and up - empty. Insane.

Mary T. said...

I am jealous -- I am here in my Seattle LR and OUR HEAT IS ON. Bleah.