Sunday, June 22, 2008

Question about how to properly chug beer.

This Friday, I piloted a party boat on Lake Union with 9 friends. I wore a Captain's hat and an eye patch and scowled "Aaarrrrgh!" at passers by while on the water. It was hilarious.

My friend the Brit dropped trou and left his naked ass dangling out there for all to see as we floated past the rowing club. Also hilarious.

I "shotgunned" a can of beer. I have never done this before. I think when you're 32 and no longer athletic enough to do a keg stand, this is as wild as it gets. I am proud of my accomplishment, although there was much debate around methodology:

Should you pierce the side of the beer can, open the top, and drink from the hole you just made on the side?
Or should you drink from the top, knocking it back and using the newly-created hole on the side of the can as a sort of vent which speeds up the rate at which the beer flows out of the can?

Or do you do as The Brit did, and just vampire the whole fucking thing and BITE holes into the side of the can and suck it out?

The answers are all murky, which certainly means that the next time I get my white trash on, I might have to try all 3 methods to determine which is best.

Please advise which is the proper method. My vacation from decor blogging might require more of this activity, so I should know in which manner to proceed.

24 comments:

Suzy said...

OK, coming from an Australian (widely recognised as the biggest drinking nation in the world) - this is how it's done. Put a hole in the BOTTOM of the can. Keep your finger on that hole while you tip it right side up, and open the TOP of the can, where you normally would. When its within range of your mouth, take finger of the hole you put in it and CHUG.

Don't ask me how I know this...I don't even drink beer!

Leslie (Miss Havisham) said...

I put a hole in the side and drink from the mouth of the can. I'm more of a beer bong gal myself. No one can bong a beer quite like I can. When I lived in New Orleans I bonged one from street level they poured from the second floor balcony.

Anonymous said...

i will have to stay anonymous for anonymous reasons as i vote for drinking it out of that hole you have punched in the side. why have you punched a new hole in the side if not to drink through it? the hole at the top was always big enough to both drink through and for beer to leave through. it is ever so graceful to push the nail through, pop the top, then pull the nail out and start chugging, all in one swift beautiful (drunken) motion.

have been greatly enjoying your posts lately. i have been in some strangely parallel moods to those of some of your posts. i have also been doing some very enjoyably wreckless drinking, but mine involved large amounts of jamieson's whiskey a few weeks ago. afterwards my (sober) husband drove us home and for some reason, I insisted that he 'call' all his driving 'moves,' as though we were playing pool. i similarly obliged, when walking.

Anonymous said...

Side hole, plug with tongue, flip top, release tongue and guzzle quickly.
Sara

Anonymous said...

This is going on memory...I'm now an old mom. Those were the days.
Sara

Anonymous said...

#1 - pierce. pop. chug.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Sara, also an old mom but I agree with her style. In the midwest is punch, pop and guzzle from the side.

Decoro, thanks for making me LOL to start my week!

kaili said...

I agree with Suzy - as a Canadian gal, I feel obliged to comment here. Hole AT the bottom, however, not IN the bottom. And then flip open the pop top and suck from he hole at the bottom.

I would also recommend practicing on light beer first - the higher the water content, the easier to chug! Happy blogging vacay!

i suwannee said...

oh yes, speaking from experience - last weekend - through hole in side. made with a key.

maison21 said...

i must say this IS a topic i thought i'd never see on a decorating blog.

here's my take:

how to chug a beer:

pour good vodka over ice, sip slowly, and savor. (sorry, i don't drink beer).

Anonymous said...

The Suzy Method.

CityKitty said...

I have a photo of one of my girlfriends in her wedding dress having a chugging contest with her groomsmen. She finished first. And I must mention that she was 40 when she got married!

Anonymous said...

Now THIS is a question for Marian McEvoy.

Anonymous said...

The Maison method!!!!! AND the Suzy method, once you've had a few martinis and loose your inhabition. (I love the idea of beer running down my chin and onto my breasts!!!!!) So very white trash of me. Non?

Anonymous said...

I think the use of "non?" is very white trash, oui.

paola said...

This post makes me proud to be British :)

Suzy said...

the whole point, people, of drinking from the normal top opening, and not the hole in the side, is so you can chug more of it QUICKER!

and thanks to kaili for correcting my english...that was a pun not intented ;)

Anonymous said...

If Brits don't shotgun beer in college (that's the proper term) then I'm glad I'm not British!

Decorno said...

I think Paola was saying she's proud to be British given that my Brit friend is the one who went completely nuts, bit into the can of beer and sucked the life out of it then proceeded to moon passers by from the boat.

Maybe this is what stirred her national pride. I hope so, anyway. :)

becky from hatch said...

My first exposure to this was in the movie "The Sure Thing." John Cusack teaches uptight Daphne Zuniga how to do it properly.

Brilliant Asylum said...

Drinking from the pierced hole is the more festive way to go, IMHO.

John said...

Side hole = bigger than top.

Chug from the side, obvo! A higher velocity through the man made hole means you can drink it that much faster. And the puke comes that much quicker.

Anonymous said...

I am liking this John guy!

Katie Lake said...

I agree with isuwannee...the hole is best made with a key - that is why this technique is also called "keying a beer"