"My name is Virginia. I’m in my thirties because I screwed up my original plan, which was to OD in a nightclub bathroom at 25 with panties around my ankles and a wet cigarette in my mouth. I am constantly going to baby showers and being made to endure foul acts, such as sniffing and identifying various brands of chocolate melted into diapers, which is against the Godiva convention. Meanwhile, I can do a special dance and hear my lone, desiccated egg rolling around inside me like a burnt-out popcorn kernel..."
I don't even know what to say. This is pretty much the funniest thing I have ever read, and I know some seriously funny bitches.
Read the whole thing HERE, at I Could Kill Her, a blog so weird and funny and brilliant that I don't really know what to make of it.
Photo by Joel Sanders.