Monday, July 21, 2008

No more. (Mamacita would like you to know this contains nudity.)

I simply can't take it anymore. No more trellis. Some of you already have it. You win. You get to keep it. It's actually adorable and graphic-y and fun, but that's it. We're at capacity. No one else is allowed into the party.







The only thing worse than seeing more of Imperial Trellis might be this photo of Kelly Wearstler, designer of said fabric/wallpaper, posing here for Playboy years ago:




I do, however, love the batshit-crazy-hair version of you, KW. But your weird Playboy boobs above look like they hurt, all stretched out and weird in the middle. Looks ouchy.



What would be funny is a toile just of Kelly... drawings of her wacked out hair... drawings of her funny nudie poses from her 1994 Playboy spread, drawings of her fashion-y self sitting in that big hand chair she's so fond of. I would pay to see this sketched out. One of you out there can do this, I know it. If you feel so inspired, please send it to me.


Hipster toile.

39 comments:

mamacita said...

YO -- I think an "NSFW" warning is appropriate.

Decorno said...

Sorry dude. I've now warned the masses.

Be the change..... said...

ok - those nipples make my eyes hurt.........I agree with you -while I like 'trellis' -it's OVER people!

Valerie said...

I like trellis patterns, but not particularly that overexposed treillaginess.

I hate when one pattern becomes hot. I'm thinking of that wallpaper with the big chrysanthemum-looking things a few years ago.

mamacita said...

For the record, I think hers are nice, but not everyone can sneak a look at tittays while on "coffee break."

karina said...

I do not like tat patterns neither but I though I was the only one.
About tits,I am so boring of them,in my country there are a body showing trend these days and frankly it boring.

AT THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

Wow, KW, who knew? Decorno, how the hell did you suss that one out? Can we add a graphic of KW nude on that trellis chair to the toile and then be done?
Lisa & Alfie

Michele said...

Decorno its me

Thecraftycameleon. You are awesome!

To boldly go where no man has gone before, RE: the boobs, as in the KW boobs LOL wow KW looks so 80's in those pics.

Whats with the Bob Marely hair though? She must have been smokin weed that day and jammin or something.

I know Picasso is up there in heaven laughing his ass off so bad over your post!

Good Work Decorno!
http://thecraftycameleon.blogspot.com/

Erynn said...

Oh, Decorno, how I heart thee!

Anonymous said...

I too find it interesting how you found the pic of kw. See, it's crazy shit like this that keeps me coming back for more. And I love that you brought up the trellis thing with kw because, yah, we've seen way too much (especially now) of both. By the way, do you have any pics of thom filicia. I kinda feel the need to see him on a zebra rug or something.

Anonymous said...

Oh no. I *heart* trellis. But yes, let's agree that it's overplayed. And, whoa boobs.

Anonymous said...

oh no! Thom Filicia is hard enough to look at with clothes on. (Plus, he's gained about 30 lbs. post-Queer Eye.)

Mrs. Blandings said...

Fun to have actual porn on the site. I'd heard about the pb layout, but had never seen it. Not that I thought it would be tasteful, but....

Anonymous said...

I wonder if that picture will end up in anyone's tear-sheet binder?

perchance said...

Oh Miss Aren't I Fabulous was once just another Playboy skank. How delicious!

Anonymous said...

She looked better then. Less grim and eating-disordered.

skywaykate said...

crap, where can I find some black on white trellis fabric just like those you've shown here??

And if it's over, what's next? And where can I get some?

I'm looking for a fabric like this to starch to my gawd-aweful fake wood veneer entry way closet sliding doors (of my apartment, where anything more permanent would require signing away my first born). And the inside of my buffet-turned-entertainment center I'm going to paint this week.

Any suggestions? What I love about the trellis is that it's graphic, I'm big into the graphic stuff.

sherri said...

love the hipster toile.

Sarah's Fab Day said...

That was the funniest thing I've seen all day! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I only knew about KW and her skanky Playboy past because it was mentioned in a much earlier post. Pay Attention, People!

Anonymous said...

posing in Playboy: cheesy. Posing in Juggs: skanky.

layersofmeaning said...

ha! this post is brilliant!

mrlfvl said...

I'm pretty sure she either had a reduction, or simply has not eaten a thing since this pictorial...

Anonymous said...

her nipples are sort of the shape of those "coolie" lampshades.

Leah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I would totally buy an issue of Jock if it had Thomas O'Brien rolling around in the sand nekkid.

Anonymous said...

oh god Leah, pubic hair is pubic hair. This is a lot funnier:

BIRTHPLACE: Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA

BUST: 34" C

WAIST: 24"

HIPS: 35"

HEIGHT: 5' 6"

WEIGHT: 105 lbs

AMBITIONS:
To own my own marvelous design and furnishings business.

TURN-ONS:
Fabulous, intense minds, honesty, huge smiles and a man with a colossal heart.

TURNOFFS:
Lack of communication, cruelty to animals, slackers, and bad design.

ROMANCING MY MAN:
Breakfast in the boudoir, a bit of physical activity, trip to the museum for some mental and visual stimulation, a nibble for two to satisfy the palate and a trip to the beach to see the sun set and the moon rise.

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF:
Swap meets, blended coffees, Nicholson Baker novels & good loving.

Anonymous said...

Blended coffee and Nicholson Baker novels... just saying it is like vomiting up a bad part of the 90s.

Anonymous said...

I like Nicholson Baker, just not the kind of people who say they like Nicholson Baker.

alis said...

Maybe the next big thing is Kelly Wearstler boob prints. It would count as an abstract pattern.

The Nerdy Fashionista said...

thank f'ing god. NO MORE TRELLIS. Kelly's playboy pics, on the other hand, will never get old.

Anonymous said...

Thank GOD Sister Parish never thought of this career-booster.

Christine in DC said...

OMFG, that's so funny

Emily said...

Wow...I am still so in shock about KW!!! She normally looks so innocent! That's crazy

Emily @ Material Girls

Uncle Beefy said...

Honestly, nevermind the trellis right now... Wearstler? The worst! Playboy?! You've got to be f*****g kidding me?! UGH! SO cheesy it made my eyes vomit. Good lord!

madrasgypsy said...

To clear up confusion expressed above... Since the playboy photoshoot she has downsized/removed the size of her implants to be taken more seriously once her firm Kwid started to take off.

In her defense, I felt like EVERYBODY of all ages had implants in LA of various sizes and styles: Natural, Barbie, etc.

Anonymous said...

why are you so mean?
and this shit pic of kelley looks photoshopped.
before you dis another woman's body (or even a dude's) show us your fat short self.
and that goes double for your interior design skills which are zero.
you are not worthy to lick the shoe of any designer. only maybe sell them one being only the shoe buyer that you are.
yes? no? discuss?

Anonymous said...

That is the funniest post I've seen in a looooong time. You rock.

Elizabeth said...

Wow. BOING! (and I'm a straight girl).

Yeah, trellis....not so much anymore. As slavishly devoted as I am to Hollywood Regency, I'm even hating my Jonathan Adler Desmond screen. Everything is looking so '00's now....