When did "the below" start happening?
I keep getting email messages at work where people write, "Please review the below." Please review the below? Did a not-fully-programmed robot draft that note? That doesn't make any sense. It sounds so clunky.
Please help me put an end to this silliness.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Notes on Engrish.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
26 comments:
It sounds awful, though is it that different from "Please review the following"?
I will start writing: "Please review the horrendous crap below," for a more precise effect.
YES. That would do the trick.
how about this,
"please read all the bullcrap carefully in the following bullcrap paragraphs "
yours truly
ass clown manager
so you manage ass clowns? or you are a both an ass clown and a manager? both are impressive.
My current hate is "i am gifting you this..." No, you're not, you're GIVING it to me.
correction anon,
the signiature is to read
"assclown"
minus the "manager" part.
But yes the memo is written by an assclown, to be read by up and coming assclowns.
anon
I admire your respect for precision, anon.
-Anon
who says:
"I'm gifting you this?"
Wait a second...I think I know who says that
It must be in the same family as
"I heart this"
or
"Im currently loving this"
why not just say:
"FREE CRAP ALERT!"
truth in advertising is always best.
Am I right?
anon
Two other assclown phrases I've just started hearing:
1. "reach out to..."
as in
"Let me reach out to him and see what he thinks"
2. "going forward"
as in
"We'll want to watch this trend, going forward"
speaking of "going forward"
I need to get to work like
now
or I am so fired
but please keep going so I can file Decornos complete list of what not to say whilst blogging
gh and "whilst" is a British thing I say just for fun
okay Im out for the rest of the day
anan
Gifting at Work: What's Right? What's Wrong?
Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer
just an example
"Gifting at Work" doesn't bother me; it conveys a specific meaning that "Giving at Work" doesn't.
Granted, it's not lovely, but it gets the job done.
Oh shit, I've been saying all the wrong things while just trying to be cool... That happens to me a lot.
yes you have.
Maybe if the business teams would actually read my emails I wouldn't have to remind them to review the following......
it's further example of precisely what you mention: that robots are INDEED taking over the world.At least that's the case if certain humanoids in my office are any indication!
"Trying to be cool" starts half the trouble in the world. Sex is the other half, obviously.
I was an English major. When I started working in advertising agencies and marketing departments, I tried to communicate clearly, concisely and correctly. Now I've learned that speaking/ writing like a retarded robot is the only way to be comprehended at work. It was a sad lesson, but my career trajectory has been astounding ever since this discovery.
Can an article modify a preposition? Don't think so. I also just KNOW that editors are an endangered species.
I wonder what kind of fancy BS ppl who work at law firms write.
But you can say: "Please see the above."
(Right?)
This is digressing from the original topic, but it's a complaint I've nurtured lately: in email correspondence with business colleagues, I almost feel like quick stumblefumble keyboarding, which results in barely comprehensible communication (misspells, missing words, etc) is perceived as more efficient and thus "legit" because it implies the "sendee" is working too hard/too fast to bother taking time with such a basic task. I find it arrogant and offensive.
Phew, I feel so much better, thanks for listening
Anon 7:13, thanks for reminding me that sincerity is best kept to oneself, or at least signed under "anonymous." I totally heart that lesson!
"Please review the below" - sounds like it came from Miss Teen South Carolina talking about the Iraq and such as. My two largest pet peeves:
1) "Very/So Unique" - something is either unique or it's not, no degrees.
2) Seeing people put apostrophes in all the wrong places, for example "DAILY SPECIAL'S" or "My Parent's are really nice."
3) "Grow your business." It just sounds stupid and annoys me to no end, even though technically it's probably passable.
Becky, I am totally in love with you now.
Oh my god . . . I just stumbled very random ly on to this page and had a major epiphany: I am alone in this place where I live. I love you people! I am glad to know there are people that actually have vocabularies and an appreciation for the nuances of words.
The other day I was having a conversation with a very bright yet apparently disadvantaged young man. We had talked about an hour and I think it was somewhere after "adjacent" or "disparity", which are everyday words in my book, he replied,"you know a lotta big words. "I guess I do," I said. Cute, funny . . . but a little depressing.
Thanks for the laughs.
Post a Comment