Some photo from some blog scanned by some chick who stole it from some magazine...
Well holy shit, today was fun.
Last night when I posted "HOWDY, STRANGER," not too many comments rolled in for quite some time and I was thinking, "Well, gee, what do you expect? There you go tossing a poll out there expecting them to write today's post for you, you lazy ass..." And then you did just that! That long delay was just about 80 of you crafting your responses to our little poll. God bless all of you.
Here are some hightlights from today's telethon:
My favorite thing "everyone would be surprised to know about you" as shared in comments was: "I smoke weed before cleaning my house." Ha!
I also loved the story about meeting your husband at Hooters after he wrote, "You're so cute," on your napkin.
I loved the brave honesty of the confession that one of you might be divorced in a year. (Maybe you want that? Maybe you don't and it's just coming undone? Either way, it's not easy. Hang in there, kid.)
I love that I have so many Portlanders reading this. Longtime readers know that it's my hometown and my favorite city. I am jealous of you guys living there.
I loved Robin stating her age followed by, "reluctantly," as though she has any choice in the matter. That cracked me up.
I love Dean "the girl with the boys name" and that she wants to get married soon (Dean! Wait! You have all kinds of time for that!).
I read through every comment and thoroughly enjoyed them all. Thanks for speaking up, especially those who usually lurk.
So who reads this? Here's the census:
1. Lots of you like SNARKINESS. Many of you didn't even mention decor. You just mentioned snark. Holy cow! Why the fuck am I writing about lamps? This decor business has been a total waste. (Kidding..)
2. Lots of chicks read the blog. Followed by chicks who also happen to be stay-at-home-moms (which my friend Nick & I like to call "stay-at-homies," because it makes you bitches sound all gangsta and tough, which you kinda have to be when you're fighting spit-up and cranky toddlers all day), followed by gay men (of which club I am an honorary member). I don't think I got any love from a single lesbian out there. Where my lezzies at? (Can I bring that word back? Is it totally banned? Because I think it has a certain charm.)
3. Many people said they liked the longer posts, or at least where I actually bother to write something. I certainly enjoy writing them, but they can sometimes leave me feeling like a self-important wanker (which I might be... I just try not to think about it because I don't want to own up to any douchebagginess). It's a fine line to walk, writing a blog. It's such narcissism to begin with to assume people give a damn about you or your stories. But the good news was that a couple of you mentioned liking my more sincere, non-snarky posts, and that's good, because while I am railing on PAM ANDERSON one day, it's nice to show the kids that I have a heart about, say, matters of FAMILY (my unusual family) and LIFE IN GENERAL.
4. A few of you mentioned that you don't like it when I post a photo and just write, "DISCUSS." Leah, you didn't exactly say you didn't like it, you said it was lazy. And you're totally right. It's IS lazy. It started as a joke. I was talking to a bunch of people at this thing, and I told them, you know, when you're stuck for blog material, just post a photo and ask, "Yes or No." And bacon had come up in the conversation and I think it was John Tusher who blurted out hysterically, "BACON: Yes or No?" as an example, and so I posted it when I got home and it got like 70 comments (you people are passionate about your bacon, clearly). So when I have a particularly brutal workday and I can't even think of something compelling to write, that's what you get. Sorry dudes. Sometimes, it's all that this free press can muster. But Pieter you are right... sometimes it's like throwing chum to the sharks (as SGM puts it.) But the comments are usually quite amusing around here, so why not let all the readers have the action? (Especially you, Anon. I should be paying you a royalty... just as soon as this blog starts makin' momma some cold hard cash...)
5. You fools are so, um, tech savvy. I never used Google reader or any such blog "subscription" service until several weeks ago when everyone was going bananas about the Holly Becker ARTICLE/POST about editing the "noise" our of your life by limiting your blog intake or whatever. Anyway, people were like, "Wha? Why edit? It's called a READER," and I was all, "Yeah, it's called a READER, bitches!" But, um, I didn't really know what a reader was. I mean I knew, but I'd never used GOOGLE READER or anything. And so very recently, I started using Google reader, and holy god, you people are so smart. Why didn't someone just TELL ME that it's like Tivo for your blogs. I always say Tivo lets you watch more and better TV in less time, and this whole reader business is the same. If you all could please use TV analogies in the future, that would really help me, k? Look, I am a dinosaur. You people are way ahead of me. (You probably all Twitter, huh? I mean... do you? I actually want to know. And what is this Tumblr thing? Jesus, will someone please send me an Internet 2.0 decorder ring?)
So that's the recap. You guys are fun (and very funny). Thanks for playing. Come back soon.