Monday, July 21, 2008

Try.


Try. Just try a little , Minnie Driver. And by try, I don't even mean "Put on makeup," or "Wear a pretty dress." When I say try, I just mean, please wear something that COVERS YOU UP.

And note to the pregnant chick buying houseplants and City People: that weird brown stripe thing knocked-up women have on their bellies should remain a mystery to me. Until such time I want to (a) have a baby or (b) actually study all the human sexuality stuff I was too grossed out to learn about, I do not want to see said weird brown navel-to-crotch stripe. Eew. I mean, come one, I was only trying to buy basil and some boxwoods.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was a ring that formed from dirty bath water?

Wouldn't that make you feel better?

Decorno said...

Yes, it would, actually. I like the idea that the ring would only form like that if she were on her side in the tub... maybe slumped over and sleeping off her booze-filled night, baby and all...

Mary T. said...

You know, most pregnant women I would give a pass for something like this. But NOT a millionaire with a personal assistant who could walk to the store FOR her and buy her clothes! Sheesh.

Decorno said...

Exactly! Or maybe buy larger tops on, say, the interwebs... shop from privacy of own home. But too-small hoodie and icky gym shorts does not an outfit make.

Anonymous said...

I have read in interviews that she says "Scotch helps keep the baby calm."

Decorno said...

Ok, Anon, why do you have to play the booze card? You're just making me like her more...

Anonymous said...

I admire that she gave up Quaaludes after the first trimester. She is disciplined.

Mary T. said...

Now I love anon and want to read anon's blog, too.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mary, but I only appear here. All other times, Decorno keeps me locked up in her attic.

Jane said...

Pregnant women get brown stripes? WTF??

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but she was dumped by Matt Damon on national TV, then dated the woman-abusing Josh Brolin and apparently cusses like a sailor. So, she gets a free pass in my books.

The stripy sapphics, on the other hand...

Anonymous said...

what do you mean, dumped by Matt Damon on natonal TV?

This sounds good.

decorno said...

Except that it's a myth that both Damon and Driver deny. Would be hysterical if only it were true.

Anonymous said...

What would it be like, doing it with Matt Damon? I'd be afraid it'd be like doing it with a kid you're babysitting.

Anonymous said...

He probably giggles nervously while doing it.

Anonymous said...

Then he calls his bff Ben and says "Guess what, I just did it!"

parkingspot said...

In response to mary t....

You know, I don't think Minnie Driver has a personal assistant. Not joking. She is LITERALLY one of the only celebs I have seen, twice, just walking about town, running errands. Back then she didn't get chased by papparazzi, either, so maybe now that she's pregnant she is getting caught outside wearing whatever was comfy and clean. Take it from a pregnant woman, sometimes your shirts/hoodies ride up. BFD!

Anonymous said...

She went without a personal asst. because her career was in the crapper for so long. This was a chick doing Pro-Activ infomercials. It doesn't get lower than that. Now she has a series, so she could at least afford clothing that fits.

Look, we all--even pregnant women--agree to cover certain parts/zones/giblets in public. It's part of the social contract, and it's not that hard. Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

Well, even if it's an urban legend, the very fact that many people imagine, and it was reported as the god-given truth by many a media outlet, that she was dumped by Damon on Oprah gives her a free pass.

That, and the fact she got engaged to Criss Angel and he cheated on her. *ouch*

Anonymous said...

She is funny looking. It's like there are too many muscles in her face.

~M said...

Personal assistant or not, there is no need to look that dumpy in public. I'm 6 months pregnant am bigger than that (and I think she's farther along than me) and I seem to be able to manage looking pulled together enough to go to my lame job on my lame salary. Target and Old Navy, Minnie. Get it together, girl.

Anonymous said...

~m,

THANK YOU!