Thursday, September 4, 2008

If I ever give this to you,


I am trying to tell you that I hate you.

Just another classy treasure from Z Gallerie.

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok i am commenting under the cloak of anonymity because i don't want to be judged....but..... i actually have an alligator one of these that i really really like and my husband named it frodo (you know keeper of the rings hardy har har) anywho.... the point of this is just one relative saw it and now i get a different bloody bejeweled creature every christmas, birthday, labor day, arbor day, guy fox day etc....feel free to feel sorry for me and what is sure to become a frightening collection.

Decorno said...

Oh, I kind of like the idea of a whole collection of them.

They remind me of the kind of bags Judith Lieber would make if she were on acid and lived in a trailer. And I am not kidding when I say I mean that in an awesome way.

You HAVE to send me a photo of your collection. Seriously. I need to post. I will do so anonymously.

Anonymous said...

anonymous, I like the way you tell stories ("I actually have an alligator one of these"). Post more.

Speaking of Judith Lieber bags: Remember that SATC episode based on the women's hatred of those bags? How did the producers get away with that? Didn't they need JL's permission to use the name and the product? Didn't the JL people ask for script approval? I've always wondered about that. It's the only example i know of negative product placement.

David said...

I stopped in the Z Gallerie by my office on a recent lunch hour. Just to visit a mirror I like but haven't talked boyfriend into yet and to look for a tray that apparently only exists in my mind.

Assistant manager boy was (a big queen!) and kind of pissy with me. Thank you for posting this, I totally feel superior to him now.

decorno said...

I have a fantasy that the Z Gallerie buyers and product development people are super fun people who start drinking blue and green cocktails at 3pm every day and while buzzed at their afternoon product meetings start to giggle and hiccup and say things like, "You know what would be awesome? Disco-mirrored salt and pepper shakers," in a way where the joke is kind of on us, but not in a mean way.

marc said...

"Conceals precious objects..."? I would love to see what they envision one might treasure inside. Just think of the possibilities.

Jules said...

Hah! I bought something like this (but I think it was a frog on a lily pad?) for my niece when she turned 6 so she keeps her baby teeth in it.

Disgusted? Google Tooth Fairy Box and try to find something better.

Anonymous said...

do you have something against people that live in trailers?

hello gorgeous said...

Anon 9:39 pm: I have not seen a reference to Guy Fox (Fawkes) for awhile. Actually, ever. I used to attend the annual Guy Fawkes party at a friend's house in Chicago not too many years ago. I thought the idea was to sort of burn things in effigy... might be an idea. Ha.

Ellie said...

Ahahaha. Haven't they been doing the safari thing for, like, five years now? Makes me want to take up hunting (inside the store).

Anonymous said...

I picture the Z Gallerie product development people as bitter and defensive, constantly making little snippy remarks about "those Crate & Barrel people with their obscene budgets" and "at least this isn't Ballard Designs!"

(Just typing "Gallerie" is embarrassing)

Decorno said...

Nothing against trailers. The humor is when we all hold hands and try to imagine someone like Judith Lieber, holding her funny Swarovski clutch inside some ramshakle trailer.

Everyone put on your humor hats today and just try to get along, k?

drwende said...

When was that magic moment when Z Gallerie switched from being aimed at urban 30-somethings to being the detritus of one's grandmother's attic, assuming one's grandmother was a drag queen with somewhat precious taste in objects?

Yes, anonymous, we must see the collection! Weirdly, the boxes are probably less horrifying en masse, plus with enough animals, you can arrange little dioramas according to your mood.

Anonymous said...

I used to sell Vietri(Italian dishes) to Z Gallerie way back when.....just about the nicest people you could deal with, and in LA....that's saying something. Most of the buyers in SoCal were a pain in the ass. I'll find a treasure there every now and then....as does Maison 21, and this is not it. Ginny

LIBERTY POST EDITOR said...

Ouch. I have a pumpkin like this that I bring out in the fall. Don't hate me because I love it.

LIBERTY POST EDITOR said...

I find it hilarious that commenters seem 'scared' to reveal themselves...you don't chase them down and punch them do you?

Anonymous said...

I find it hilarious when commenters do reveal themselves.

I don't care who they are or how many times they've read "eat pray love" or if their favorite movie is "The Notebook." I just want to hear their unguarded, honest opinion. Not 30 posts all reading "So pretty!"

K.Line said...

When I looked at this pic I laughed out loud. Thank you for such a fun Friday image.

Anonymous said...

Now I am sort of wanting one. I could keep my meth in it.

Anonymous said...

When I see things like this Bedazzled Bambi, I just have to laugh. I mean, somebody actually spent money on that.

Scary.

It reminds me of those really, really, really, tall, fugly vases that sit empty on one's mantle.

Useless.

What is the point? Decorno, please advise.

(from an Alaskan NOT voting Palin)

Tara.Fields said...

There has got to be a tongue-in-cheek way to display that collection that won't offend your relative, but that some people will see the humor in.

LindsB said...

I bet Palin has the "real" version of that...straight from her family taxidermist.

PS- I mentioned her only because anon 10:46 did first

Anonymous said...

That is pretty tacky. BTW how cute is David's pic. I'll be stopping by to visit it.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. P. dropped the carcass off at the taxidermist's on the way to the Life Is Precious Rally.

...love Maegan said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaahha

Anonymous said...

i think the most disturbing part of the whole thing is thinking about how the person who bought it for you would actually think that you would love it. "OMG, you know who would love this?? BLANK!!!"

Anonymous said...

Liberty Post Editor is that your real name? If it isn't then you really are not revealing yourself are you?

hello gorgeous said...

Anon 11:40: I am giving you one of those Obama family fist-bump things right now (not trying to start anything...).

By the way, I used to post anonymously too as Anonymous Hardware Guy's Wife until he left me for his other (um, existing) wife. What ever happened to him? I'll never forget him. *sigh*

decorno said...

I miss him, too. Maybe we scared him off with our adoration. He left good comments.

Anonymous said...

Hello Gorgeous,

Thanks for another compliment, and the fist-bump. I'd be your (gay) (replacement) husband, but I'm already fake-betrothed to another. Maybe we can e-fool around?

hello gorgeous said...

Anon, I have always wanted a gay replacement husband!! so if things don't fake work out... (my husband won't care - he HATES to shop but oddly he doesn't mind a good drag show). You can always sneak over to my new blog and leave me poetry. Or whatever. We can always shop online - ha!

Anonymous said...

Conservatives take note: See how good gay marriage can be!

HG: I'll pick you up tomorrow for an e-trip to "the Z" (that's what we gay guys call "Z Gallerie").

Bejeweled elks for all!

hello gorgeous said...

Perfect!

And wouldn't that confound them? Gay-straight marriage!

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be fun to pose that to Dubya, at a press conference?

"Mr. President, what is your position on gay-straight marriage?"

(Just imagine the expression on his dufus face as he struggles with that one)

hello gorgeous said...

Yeah, it's the same expression my dog has when I'm talking to her, except not as cute.

And they would have to be rewording the hell out of this:

"Federal Marriage Amendment (FMA) (also referred to by proponents as the Marriage Protection Amendment) is a proposed amendment to the United States Constitution which would re-define marriage in the United States as a union of one man and one woman.

Heh, heh.

Anonymous said...

Fabulous! I'll take two.

Anonymous said...

"...a union of one man and one woman, and no screwing around with trying to sneak in a damn homo man either--we're on to you."

tula said...

hmm, maybe i should sent this to sarah palin.

tula said...

nah, never mind. she'd probably shoot it.

Decorno said...

Ha!

Anonymous said...

z gallerie reminds me of a mod version of the crap they had at Bombay Company.
BUT, don't throw the baby out w/ the bathwater. Sometimes you can find something good, anywhere even if most of it's crap.

Anonymous said...

YES! Good comparison!

You know what was kind of funny about Bombay Company? Everything they sold was a little smaller than normal. Like 3/4-scale. I wonder if it was meant for apartment dwellers?

David said...

I think it was meant for the overextended. Smaller equalled lighter, which was easier to move when the McMansion got foreclosed on.

truffles said...

That might be the best post ever.

Anonymous said...

Bombay Company was a pre-McMansion thing.

It's a genius concept: The look of Wealthy Old Grandma but without sticker shock. The concept was specific to the 1980s and '90s though, I guess.

The Voices of Nerd Fancy: said...

If you do give this as a hate gift, make sure to stuff it with red vine licorice. Eeew.

David said...

The McMansion moniker may be recent, but the building of large, tasteless homes is eternal.

Anonymous said...

I live in a neighborhood of tasteless small houses.

Middle-class folk like to comfort ourselves with the old cliché that tastelessness is a plague on the rich, especially the recent, Trumpian rich, but the truth is, tastelessness strikes everywhere, including the neighborhoods of the poor and near-poor. It doesn't discriminate.

Anonymous said...

decorno...have the skull version...i keep my skull ring in it...vv rock n' roll...love your blog/zgallerie equally...

Anonymous said...

what happened to the sarah palin post from a couple of days ago? I came back to look at the comments and it is gone!

Anonymous said...

It's official.

I just saw a preview for a new NBC sitcom, about two tacky girls, and the punchline of the preview was something like "...a zebra rug from Z Gallerie."

Anonymous said...

kath and kim on nbc...

Decorina said...

I haven't thought about Bombay for a long time. My ex-sister in law bought all the furniture for her house there. She asked me what I thought and all I could manage was "You need something without legs in here". All the furniture had those slender (say, it WAS 3/4 scale - like Disneyland) Queen Anne cabriole legs and looked like a herd of anmials that could move at any moment. Very unsettling that room was.

And David, you're right. The building of big tasteless barns for Those Who Wish to Impress Others (TWWTIO) is a concept that has always been with us.

Anonymous said...

I want to see more animals from this collection!