True story. Read it HERE.
Remember 21 Jump Street? No, really - remember?
So, what would yo do if you HAD to go back to high school. I want details. Would you try to go all Tracy Flick on your classmates and "A" it up? Would you buy pot for the kids? Throw parties? Would you find yourself giving all kinds of advice? You can even say you'd get busy with the hot guys. Just post anonymously so you don't shame yourself.
In other news, the year after I graduated high school, I learned that Mr. Bosnick*, this hot dark jew (and I mean HOT) was either fired or resigned or maybe was asked to resign because he (allegedly) went to the beach* with this girl, Paula, who was one year behind me and had a honking kind of laugh and was totally fucking annoying. Let me just tell you. I was OUTRAGED. He never took me to the beach. Fucker. I was young, impressionable, and had a thing for older men. I wouldn't have told anyone, for Christ's sake!
YOU MISSED YOUR CHANCE, MR. BOSNICK. I hope you're enjoying your life teaching judo or whatever.
*Names changed. Except Paula's. Fuck you, Paula.
**The beach is like a 3 hour drive from Portland, so it's not like the kids toasted off a milkshake at the Peach Pit and walked to the ocean on break. They WENT TO THE BEACH, if you know what I mean. (Ok, I don't even know what the means, but I am bitter and trying to cast aspersions.)
Yes, this is the teacher. No joke. Miss teaching econ, fired teacher? Ha. Missed your chance. Now it's all nemaste and yoga and judo and wiping snot from little kids or whatever.