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The Gays.

Glen Senk and Keith Johnson, purveyors of everything your straight, 30-something, somewhat-happily married female self LOVES to buy at Anthropologie. Oh, and by the way, look how fucking happy they are. Proof that their relationship is better than any of the 5 marriages my mother had.

In the last post, someone left this comment:

Hey Decorno: can you please use your influence to send some help our way? There's tons of anti-gay money coming in from out-of-state.

Gay Decorator in SF

The answer, of course, is yes.

This is a decor blog that often takes political detours, but this is a perfect example of the intersection of design and politics... and I am going to lay it out for you here:


Gay-givity-gay. Gay, gay, gay. If you've ever fixed up a happy little tablescape, if you've fretted over moldings, if you've debated the right shade of white, if you've ever said, "Oh snap", if you watch Top Design, if you love Simon Doonan (who doesn't???), if you're inspired by about 35% of the homes and apartments in every issue of Elle Decor, Met Home, or House Beautiful, well, you are an honorary homo. Sure, that probably sounds all stereotype-y, but whatevs. You and I know that the world of design is a gay world. (Yes, both meanings. I'm so clever!) We all love the world of design because everyone gets to indulge his fantasy of the perfect home and perfect life. But getting to love and marry the person who makes you swoon and supports you and is willing to play the put-the-toilet-seat-down game with you for the rest of your life shouldn't be a fantasy and it shouldn't just belong to straight people.

I am not sure I can convince people who are against gay marriage to be for it. I doubt that. But 'tis the season to outspend those motherfuckers. So do right by our gay & lesbian friends and give a little money today. If Prop 8 passes, it will ban same-sex marriages in California. Honestly? We have nothing better to do than this? Really? Oy.

Click HERE to give today, beacause we need to tell everyone in the decor blog world the truth:

If Prop 8 passes, Elle Decor, Domino, and Met Home will fold, Benjamin Moore and Pratt & Lambert will stop making paint, 1st Dibs will go out of business. Those are FACTS, my friends. FACTS. This is why you must act today.

Gay decorators: please back me up on this. Leave your comment below.


Anonymous said...

oh, Decorno. You're the best.

Anonymous said...

I'm gay, and you are correct. If me and my cocksucker friends give one another the signal, we will all turn our keys at the exact same moment and reduce Lee Jofa to dust.

And we're just getting started. Brunschwig & Fils, I'm talking to you...

Anonymous said...

I think you're wrong. Prop. 8 wouldn't change anything. The companies you listed wouldn't go out of business because of a law denying same sex marriages to be legal. Business would carry on as it has with people being gays and lesbians. It would prevent only the state recognizing it as a bonafide marriage but definitely wouldn't stop people from making life commitments to each other.

Way off base on this one. I'm for proposition 8 because I don't want our children being taught in school that it's normal to have 2 dads or 2 moms. Get their kids therapy and just teach love for everyone without passing judgements.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 9:36 pm.

I also think anyone who has oral sex, anal sex, sex with a woman on top, sex with a prostitute, sex without marriage, sex with the lights on, and any other kind of sex that makes me nervous should be in therapy.

Oh, and teach love for everyone, no judgements, etc. etc. But mainly therapy.

Anonymous said...

Wowza. People need to die. People like Anon 9:36.

Decorno said...

(Anon 9:36... the part about Benjamin Moore going out of business was a joke... the joke was....... ah, nevermind.)

Decorno said...

"reduce Lee Jofa to dust" - Ha! Comment of the day award right there.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Decorno, you are the best!

I don't understand how gay marriage, which let's be honest, affects 2-3% of the population, became such a popular wedge issue for rural idiots to project their hate.

Decorno said...

Well, some city idiots, too. Let's be fair.

But seriously, YES, how does this become a wedge issue? It's part of a big national conspiracy to send us to the polls over these tiny issues like late-term abortion or big gay marriage, and to not bother discussing things like, "Is our economy built on quicksand?" or "Why did your uncle go bankrupt? Oh yes, medical bills." Grrr.

Anonymous said...

Please Decorno, don't diminish our cause: Married Gay Decorators United for Mandatory Late-Term Abortions.

Decorno said...

Shhhh... you're not supposed to let people know your true agenda.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:36--

Maybe this will make you feel better:

Anonymous said...

anon 9:36 - why is the government responsible for enforcing "normalcy?" how is it any more "normal" to have just one parent? do you think we should pass a law requiring all couples with children to stay married irregardless of their personal situation? what about requiring all women who are pregnant and not in a stable relationship to go out and find husbands?

I'd like to see a statistic about the % of divorcees and cheaters who want to "preserve the sanctity of marriage," you know, like they did.

Megan said...

Completely agree with you Decorno. Everyone should be able to find love! Everyone has the right to be happy regardless of their sexuality.

Anonymous said...

Prop. 8 wouldn't change anything...Actually, it will. Amongst other things, it will remove the next of kin and inheritance rights afforded to spouses.

Queer couples face major obstacles when one partner becomes sick or dies. Partners are not guaranteed the right to hospital visits, medical decisions, or make funeral arrangements when one of them dies. Not only will the surviving partner have to deal with the grief, but will also have to deal with the possibility of losing the home they built together.

Could you deal with that? Oh, but you won't have to will you? Because you are normal.

David said...

Damn it Californians, I was planning on marrying Boyfriend in chic sunset ceremony beachside at the Hotel Del.

Our anniversary (11 this year, who'd have thought!) is in December, I couldn't possibly ask people to go to Cape Cod in winter.

KatinkaPinka said...

i think it's very normal to have 2 moms or 2 dads. in fact, i want to scream it from my rooftop. i want anon 9:36's kids to know IT'S NORMAL. NORMAL NORMAL NORMAL.

anyway, they ought to just be teaching kids how to prevent pregnancy and STDs regardless of what's considered the norm.

bravo, decorno.

Anonymous said...

Why can't people live and let live and keep their, er, um, NOSES, in their own bedroom? If two people love each other it doesn't matter if they are gay or straight, at least it's love and not the hate professed by narrow minded idiots.

I have no problem with the government allowing same sex civil unions. I do believe, however, that "marriage" per se, is a religious affiliation, and as such, due to the separation (thankfully) of church and state, that the government has no right to declare/deny "marriage".

Don't feel badly gay folks, as many Catholics cannot get "married" again after divorce, either. I am straight and non-religious (but spiritual, nonetheless) and divorced, but if I "remarry" it will be a civil union, as well. Let the religious right have their little quirk about what "marriage" really is. I don't need the "sanctity" (or the sanctimonious) designation of "marriage". A "civil union" is as good as married to me.

The Voices of Nerd Fancy: said...

One day we'll look back on this with the same shame that we have when we look at the pre-civil rights era. Denying people basic equalities is unthinkable. Whether it is actual legal rights or the right to use a word equally, all people are people and have should have equality.

The term marragie is not a sacred term limited to a Christian tradition. Many people of all faiths and of NO faith or demonination use the term marraige to mean a union or partnership. So, "Civil Union" my ass. It doesn't wash...the logic that "civil union" can be used as a term but the word "marriage" cannot is the most feeble attempt at semantics ever.

Go ahead, argue with me, but if you took an honest look at the way many people use the word marriage sacredly, legally, superfically, and temporarily, you'd realize that the word is not limited to a sacramental context.

Kristy said...

Oh those crazy gays and their desire for basic rights.
I seriously don't understand why people care so badly about gay marriage rights. How does this affect your daily life, besides pissing you off for some unknown reason? Let them get health insurance and adopt cute foreign babies for christsakes. Or are you afraid they'll be dressed cuter than your kids??
Some of the happiest relationships I've ever seen are amoungst the Scary Gay People
You go Gays.

Anonymous said...

Wow, do I ever hate your political posts, Decorno. You *are* fun to read on design, though, so I guess I've gotta take the dumb-as-a-post with the good.

Anonymous said...

OMG, David, I had the same thought about getting married in Cape Cod in the winter. I was like, um, yeah that's pretty, and extra terrible for everyone to get to.

And on the topic of gay marriage, I just don't see why there are so many people against it. Look around you Anon 9:36, people like you let ignorant fucks like yourself run the government and looks what's happened! This isn't happy fun candy land. This is fucked up watch the dow drop to the ground $8 a gallon gas land. But you want to stop gay people from getting married. Way to fucking pick your battles.
All gay people want to do is get married and have families, it's not like they are asking for anything more than basic rights. I say my gay friends should have a damn holiday just because assholes like Anon 9:36 are allowed to breed and spew their nonsense rhetoric.

Christine in DC said...

Wow, Anon 9:42. Hope that was sarcastic.

I would like someone to explain to me what's so "dangerous" about 2 people who love each other. Never understood that. I've known plenty of creepy hetero couples (or singles for that matter) that are doing way more damage to society.

Anonymous said...

If people are so concerned about their children being taught in public school that "it's normal to have 2 dads or 2 moms" they should just amp up their lessons on hate and discrimination at home.

There. Problem solved.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Decorno. Yes, I will send $ right away!

Anonymous said...

"I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers; but don't think I don't tolerate gay people, because I do I tolerate them with all my heart" Tina Fey as Sarah Palin SNL

Anonymous said...

It's great that you're posting about No on Prop 8 but please note that Urban Outfitters Inc (parent company of Anthropologie) has donated thousands of dollars to the staunch conservative Republican party. While we have to hope there are smart Republicans out there that recognize equality for everyone, the connection to Anthropologie should be quieted.

aw said...

come get married in CT, we just ruled all for it :) :) :)

Anonymous said...

The 2 dads/2 moms thing being abnormal argument makes me laugh. What does that make of stepfamilies? Blended families? Does that set up create a situation with 3 or 4 parents? I don't see people making noise about that.

Be the change..... said...

Not that I have much to add, but I wanted to just say something to stick up for us gays. I think this basically is about basic government sanctioned rights - it should have nothing to do with religion. So whenever people come at me with what 'marriage' is -sanctioned by god, etc. -thats all fine and dandy, but thats not the LEGAL definition of a marriage (at least not yet). Seperation of church and state are even more important as the world becomes increasingly global. This is where war and hatred comes from. We need to worry more about seperating church from state and more about fixing our G.D. country.

muranogirl said...

I think the gays in my town should be just as blissfully happy or miserable as us staight folk!
Please vote NO on Prop 8

the carolyn said...

California gays need crazy cash. See what they're up against:

Anonymous said...

Decorina said...

yes, lets distract everyone from real issues by talking about gays getting married...typical right wing tactic.

Romantic choices of others are really none of your business. Take care of your own life and stop judging everyone else who doesn't agree with you.

Great post Decorno, keep it up. Anon, 9:36 did you have your sense of humor and understanding surgically removed, or did you actually ever have one? And yes, the world would be a terrible place without Lee Jofa, Brunschwig & Fils and all the rest.

Anonymous said...

So Anon 9:36, under your plan, schools would teach that single-parent households and families are abnormal.

The Curmudgeon said...

Anonymous 10/15: While I appreciate your support, a civil union is NOT the same thing as marriage. A dear friend of mine just had her partner of many years - with whom she had a civil union - deported back to NZ, as she lost her visa and my friend couldn't marry her to keep her here.

If my gf is dying in the hospital, I am not allowed to visit her.

If I die, our civil union will not protect my social security payments - my money - from going back to the gov't. She has no right to it.

So thank you for the support, but please remember - civil union is a step forward, but it is still wildly insufficient.

Anonymous said...

" 'marriage' per se, is a religious affiliation"

--anon 3:29

You are mixing up "marriage" with "wedding."

"Marriage" is indeed a legal affiliation, conferring specific legal rights that are NOT confirmed by "civil unions" (see The Curmudgeon's excellent comment).

Another example: A married person is not obligated to testify against his spouse in court. Not true in the case of people bound only by civil unions.

It's a "wedding" that can be either religious or civil.

24KGLDFCE said...

Speaking of gay Republicans: I'm pretty sure Glen and Keith up there dress to the right right right. As does one Mr. Jonathan Adler. Just so you know where that over-sized Anthropologie mark-up is going.

Anonymous said...

"many Catholics cannot get "married" again after divorce, either."

--anon 3:29

Wrong. Catholics can get "married" and divorced as many times as they want. They just can't keep doing it in a Catholic wedding ceremony.

Again, you're mixing up "marriage" and "wedding."

Anonymous said...


Roxanne said...

Inspirational! Both your speech and the happy couple!

katiedid said...

I love the "my friends" part at the end. Hehe.

True, there are pockets of haters in California, but for the most part, I think we are a pretty rational bunch. At least I thought so until a local college's student council voted to support Prop 8. These are young people. People in College. People that one would expect to be educated and tolerent. So, while I am pretty sure this Prop will not pass, it never hurts to make sure.

Anonymous said...

I agree wholeheartedly with anon. 9:36, and so do most Americans. Deal with it. Don't push your agenda down our throats.

Be the change..... said...

Anon 9:23 - if trying to have basic civil liberties is "pushing (our)agenda down (y)our throats." -you are so totally paranoid it's not even funny. Go back to the hole you crawled out from -get your balls -and post your obnoxious comment with some contact info and who you are. Don't hide behind 'anonymous'.

Richie Designs said...

two of the most successful unions I know of are gay couples...15+ years each. My Mom can't even say that.

Love should be legal. If you want to marry an elephant -who am I to stop you.

and as for teaching children. If we are teaching them about love it doesn't matter who's who.

anon 9:36 is definitely on the wrong blog.

Anonymous said...


Gay marriage does not affect your throat at all.

Deal with it.

this one said...

i may not be gay...

and we all know that I am "little miss republican"...

but I think that we should all just let gays be. let people be happy.

i have seen way too many failed marriages that if two people really really love each other and want to live their lives together and they are fighing this hard for it then we should let them have it.

and for the record, i am for gay MARRIAGE, not just civil unions.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:23,

Was fighting for women's right to vote "pushing an agenda down Americans' throats"?

Was fighting for black people's right to attend white schools "pushing an agenda down Americans' throats"?

Do you believe a cause is right ONLY if it is popular?

Anonymous said...

Why is it that Republicans say they want less government interference in our lives, except when it comes to things like, oh I don't know, gay marriage, abortion?


Anonymous said...

THANK YOU, ANON 9:43!!!!!

zakary said...

In my next life, I want to come back as a gay man.

Love me some gays.

Thanks for this post.

heartbreakingly beautiful said...

1 for decorno

0 for anonymous bigots whose thinking is on par with those who used to (and possibly still do) think that a african american person should not legally be allowed to marry a white person.

time to get off your "moral" high horses & start minding your own business. Let's try "live & let live," peeps.

Anonymous said...

oh right, "mixed-race marriage"?

Definitely "shoving an agenda down Americans' throats."

Vanessa said...

I live in California, and I will be voting HELL NO PROP 8. Thanks for fighting the good fight, Decorno!

Anonymous said...

Have you noticed that most of the public guys who want to pass a law that makes 'marriage' for a man and woman only, usually cheat on their wives? They seem to expect a law to make them behave, but they already have a COMMANDMENT, and that does not seem to work!!

First it was a catholic couldn't marry a protestant, and then it was people of two different races could not marry, it is about time this one fall too.

I am all for the people to get a clue and allow marriage for any two adult people. It is only a matter of civil rights.

Anonymous said...

I also notice that when a politician is caught on his knees in a public bathroom, or discovered trying to seduce a male intern, it is almost invariably a Republican--usually a Republican with a record of voting against gay-rights legislation.

The Voices of Nerd Fancy: said...

I like the idea of putting the onus on straight-religious-Christians to specify their marital unions as sacramental marriages and let the rest of us use the word in its more common form. Example conversation between two religious republicans:

Woman 1: "Oh my, what a lovely diamond ring!"

Woman 2: "Thank you! I just got engaged!"

Woman 1: "Engaged?! You mean, to be sacramentally married?"

Woman 2: "Yes!"

Woman 1: "Well, I have been sacramentally married for years. You'll just love sacramentally married life!"

The House of Beauty and Culture said...

Anon 9:23 - I hope you air your views a vehemently in real life as you do here. Let me just remind you that fags pay taxes too. Therefore, we queers, fags, dykes and all the in between, are entitled to same rights that you are. That's all, we aren't trying to take anything away form you.

Anonymous said...

Anons 9:36 and 9:23,

Give us *specific* examples of how straight people in Massachusetts, California, and Connecticut have suffered since their states legalized gay marriage.

Anonymous said...

I don't undestand why people want to judge others. For all of you Christians, isn't that reserved for God and God alone? How can you, a mere mortal, purport to have all of the information required to make a fair and impartial judgment?

I'm going to make a conscious effort in my life to judge others less. Maybe in doing so it will rub off on others. Be the change.

Anonymous said...

Alright Decorno, I'm one of your 5 Republican readers. And I'm Catholic. And I think that denying rights to a couple because of their choice of partner is wrong, wrong, wrong. I've always thought the solution is to have ANYONE, any gender, wishing to have a union beteween two people recognized by the government get a civil union, and if you want a (yes, sorry, sacramental) marriage, go to the Church, BUT because there is a separation of Church and state, sacramentally married couples should also get a civil union to have their union legally recognized. Truly, I wish this would change on a National level going forward to end all this ridiculous rights denial. AND (now that I'm better informed-I did not know that civil unions do not afford couples the same rights as married couples) change the legal definition of "civil union" to include rights previously afforded to "married" couples only. You don't have to approve of someone else's lifestyle to know that denying them the choice to live it fully (WITH health insurance, survivor's benefit's etc.) is just wrong.

Anonymous said...

Anons 9:36 and 9:23,

One more thing. These countries all have same-sex marriage:

South Africa

Please tell us how the straight citizens in these countries have suffered because of gay marriage. Be specific, please.

Anonymous said...


These are just a few of the 1,400 state and federal benefits that gays and lesbians are denied by not being able to marry:

--Joint parental rights of children
--Joint adoption
--Status as "next-of-kin" for hospital visits and medical decisions
--Right to make a decision about the disposal of loved ones remains
--Immigration and residency for partners from other countries
--Crime victims recovery benefits
--Domestic violence protection orders
--Judicial protections and immunity
Automatic inheritance in the absence of a will
--Public safety officers death benefits
--Spousal veterans benefits
--Social Security
--Joint filing of tax returns
--Wrongful death benefits for surviving partner and children
--Bereavement or sick leave to care for partner or children
--Child support
--Joint Insurance Plans
--Tax credits including: Child tax credit, Hope and lifetime learning credits
--Deferred Compensation for pension and IRAs
--Estate and gift tax benefits
--Welfare and public assistance
--Joint housing for elderly
--Credit protection
--Medical care for survivors and dependents of certain veterans
Most of these benefits CANNOT be privately arranged or contracted for within the legal system.

Anonymous said...

"sacramentally married couples should also get a civil union to have their union legally recognized."

Wrong. Again, you're confusing "marriage" and "wedding."

A Catholic wedding ceremony WILL marry a man and a woman both "sacramentally" AND legally. No additional "civil union" is needed.

People are confusing "civil union" and "civil ceremony."

"Civil ceremony"--done by a judge or a justice of the peace--confers ALL legal benefits of marriage.

A "civil union" does NOT confer all the legal benefits of marriage.

hello gorgeous said...

Right on, people.

Anonymous said...


First let me say I am Against Prop KKK 8

I am for Gay Marriage
I was for it from its inception
and I was for it because
straights fail and suck at marriag so who are we to dictate
matrimony rights

Okay but you are full of shit
saying all these mags and business will "fold" if prop 8 passes

You have just caused the biggest insult to gays by suggesting that they are as weak and as affected as you most certainly are.

You are right that a large sector of creative industies are either owned or operated by talented gays but like we need you to tell us that. You seriously need to soak your head in a bucket of cold water.

Look the magazines and TV and fashion and movies are not going to lay down and die if some bullshits laws pass or don't pass

have you ever heard of appeal asshole?

and then there are many other legals means to halt enforcement of prop 8 if it did pass.

But here is how stupid your argument and propaganda is
Decorno doesn't get to vot on the prop only california does
and we will make the right decision and we will kill that bill

we don't need some lame ass in need of attention which you seem to need more of by the day to spew bullshit rumors

just so you can propogandize what you call facts

you would not know a fact if it walked up and bit you in the ass

Forgive me for my outspoken-ness but you asked for it

Gay owned business will do just fucking fine. They are not going to suffer one iota they will just get the fucking lawyers to grow sharper teeth

and you know decorno I don't know if you are a lawyer
but if you are
you suck at it!

Gays don't need your condescending sky is falling crap.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:03

Dude, you ever heard of exaggeration?

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:03 -

Chill the fuck out.

kristin said...

Amen, anon 12:12!

Anon 3:29, if we took your argument to its logical conclusion, it deprives religions of the right to choose if their members can get married through its ceremony. Can't I derive from your argument that just because the Catholic church doesn't want to allow divorced people to get married in its religious ceremony, no other church can either? Well, shit, my church allows divorced people to get married again in its religious ceremony. What if my church supports gay marriage? Shouldn't my church be able to decide to perform marriage ceremonies for gays and lesbians? I think it should have the option if it chooses. It shouldn't have to perform civil ceremonies as a substitute. It should be able to perform MARRIAGE.

As many others have pointed out, marriage that Prop 8 and the like affects is NOT a religious union. It is very much a legal union, and it retains legal status, rights, and responsibilities across state and (usually) national lines. Civil unions do not have that same status.

For all of you against gay marriage, stop being bigots. And yes, if you're against keeping gay marriage legal, you are a bigot. Sorry if that offends you, but educate yourself and change your views and then you won't be a bigot anymore. Allow everyone the same legal rights to choose the person they can establish legal kinship with and then your church can decide to NOT perform the religious ceremony to gays just like churches decide to not perform the ceremonies for divorced people or people not of that religion or sinners, etc.

Example: I am Mormon, and I am marrying a non-Mormon. My church will not allow me to get married in its religious ceremony because both people have to be Mormon. I am still going to get married, just not through the special ceremony. My choice to marry a non-Mormon has no effect on the church's ability to deny me its ceremony. How does gay marriage affect the Mormon church's right and ability to deny its religious ceremonies to gays?

BTW, I am fully aware the Mormon church is a huge advocate for Prop 8, and I think that the church is WRONG. I know a lot of other Mormons think so, too. Please pardon us for this bad leadership decision.

I'm all for the Mormon church to keep its religious marriage from gays and lesbians if it believes that gay marriage is wrong, because that is absolutely the church's right to decide, but no person or entity has the right to deny basic human legal rights to another person in the United States of America.

There's a reason why these proposals are amendments to the state consitutions. It's because they're unconstitutional in every damn state. States may not be performing gay marriages at the moment, but they're going to have to someday. A court case is going to go through each state, and the supreme court of each state is going to have to declare denying gays the right to marry unconstitutional. The only way to legally deny gays the right to marry is to amend the state constitutions. Don't you think that's fishy? Doesn't that seem like it's going against the basis of our legal system? You know, our constitution?

If you love America, stop fucking with it.


Anonymous said...

Anon 1:03

You really took that part literally? Really?

READ Decorno's comment from last night:

(... the part about Benjamin Moore going out of business was a joke... the joke was....... ah, nevermind.)

Anonymous said...

Only one person could miss the point as completely as Anon 1:03 does.

It can only be...

crafty cameleon!

Decorina said...

Well said, Kristin.

Alison said...

I have a Big problem with Gay Marriage. The problem I have with it is that it's not legal!!!

Wasn't there a tea party a few years back, the theme of which was no taxation without representation? Huh, yeah, I think I'm remembering it correctly. Anyone who thinks gay marriage will harm them has scar tissue on their knuckles. When I was a little kid, inter-racial marriage was illegal. The argument against it was that next people will be marrying their dogs. FF 40 yrs, and I'm hearing the "marry Fido" argument again. Humanity is deeply flawed. Oh, and have I mentioned that I got carded a few weeks ago right b4 I turned 47?

Anonymous said...


"If Prop 8 passes, Elle Decor, Domino, and Met Home will fold, Benjamin Moore and Pratt & Lambert will stop making paint, 1st Dibs will go out of business. Those are FACTS, my friends. FACTS. This is why you must act today" ("The Gays" by Decorno 10/15/2008)

So if the foregoing text come up in Google Web search anyone reading that is supposed to know about your lame ass "don't take me literally" bullshit.

Right. Of course

Decs said...

Anon 1:03 I was being facetious.

Are you ok? We're worried about you.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Do tell, Alison - what is your magical anti-aging secret?

Botox? Surgery? Expensive creams?

I gots to know!

Lisa Hunter said...

FWIW, we have gay marriage here in Montreal and the world hasn't ended in a fireball.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:58:

Why so angry?

Do you require all sarcasm, irony, facetiousness, and other straight-faced smart-alecky hijinks to be labeled, FDA-style:

"Warning: Sarcasm ahead. DO NOT TAKE LITERALLY. Consult your healthcare professional if uncertain."

Your anger seems way out of proportion to the "offense" here.

Decorina said...

They get more and more shrill when they think someone has a valid point of view that disagrees with theirs.

Kristin said...

He just feels like an ass because he didn't get the joke.

Anonymous said...

Very simple- equal rights for all. When we start cherry picking who gets those rights...scary. Semantics aside regarding vernacular ex: marriage, union, etc...whatever...marriage gives people protection under the law, marriage gives protection to children that result from that marriage whether it be adoption or one of the spouses gives birth, whatever. It is a form of protection. Gay and lesbians deserve that basic right. I will stand up for anyone petioning for their rights. Rights for all. Simple. Easy peasy. But of course we fight over this idea. We can't even give a blob in a mother's stomach the right to life. It is all connected in some way. Think about it. Of course I will be slammed for making this point. whatever.

Kristin said...

I don't think you deserved to be slammed, anon 2:56, but I do think you are collapsing gay marriage and abortion to a faulty degree. With the abortion issue, we're talking about the rights of a woman vs. the rights of a fetus. There are a lot of nuances to balancing the potentially conflicting rights of two creatures inhabiting the same space than gay marriage where the rights of the two spouses do not infringe upon the rights of any other person. Reproductive rights has been a controversial issue since the dawn of civilization because it is so complicated, so I am not surprised that we have yet to come to an agreement on abortion. I think that widespread acceptance of gays and lesbians and the granting of rights to gays and lesbians will come before we are able to settle on reproductive rights.

Anonymous said...

"Semantics aside regarding vernacular ex: marriage, union, etc...whatever"

--anon 2:56

I have to disagree with that. The differences between "marriage" and "civil union" are more than "semantic." They are real, substantive, and legally significant. Check out the excellent comment by "The Curmudgeon" at 7:41 AM for some of the differences. They are not superficial.

DecorPad said...


Anonymous said...

Many words have started out as religious: Kosher, Zen, Karma, yet they have taken on different meanings within our current society despite their religious origins.

Ask ANY linguist how langauge is constantly evolving and changing. A word like "marriage" may have a specific meaning/origin for one religious group. Despite this, it has meaning and is being used by many, many other groups that may not be able to claim it as something that originated in their particular cultures or religions.

If every straight couple (who is Christain or otherwise) is allowed to use it, then every gay couple should be allowed to use it.

Allowing "separate but equal" to exist in our society was deemed horrible a long time ago...why is it OK in regard to this issue? Having equal rights via a "civil union" but not equal access to the word marriage is discriminatory.

Oh, and by the way, I love when people say, "Let them (gay people) have their equal rights, but why the fuss over the use of the word marraige?" Yeah...if it's just a word, then let'em use it.

hello gorgeous said...

D - I love how you serve up a plate of poo* and sit back and watch people fling it at one another all day.

*Please note the sarcasm. I am not calling gay marriage "poo." Everyone here knows I have a gay husband. (Or used to anyway.)

Equal rights for humans. That's all I'm saying. (Okay, some rights for animals, too, but that's another plate of poo.)

Interesting to note that the author of Proposition 22 (the original, since-overturned-by-CA-Supreme-Ct., no-gay-marriage-or-union proposition) had a gay son; the author/Senator is deceased and now his wife is a proponent of Prop 8. Their son is not. He wed his partner first chance he got.

Anonymous said...

My parents’ marriage wasn’t normal. Dad is black. Mom is white. They married in 1960 because they fell in love and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

It sure as hell wasn’t easy for them. They were denied a church wedding. They were harassed in their first neighborhood: trash on the lawn, poisoned dog, broken windows, etc. They lived for years in a hate filled world.

But… at least they had each other AND their “marital” civil rights. At least my mother was allowed to make decisions about my father’s healthcare when he barely survived a car accident in 1976. At least they can file joint tax returns. At least they will have survivor benefits when one of the eventually passes.

Get over it, America. Marriage is love. Mixed religion, mixed race, same sex... it matters not.

Anonymous said...

hello gorgeous,

OF COURSE you still have a gay husband.

(I've been gone for a while...on business. Gay business. I'll write you a check for some shoes. That should cover my absence. Now check out these new drugs I brought back from the Gay Convention...)

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:23

There is something so cowardly, so frightened, about the statement "Americans don't like it, so don't push your agenda!"

Is that what you teach your children? "Don't make waves!"
"Don't upset anyone!"
"For God's sakes, always follow the crowd!"

hello gorgeous said...

Oh, good - I missed you! And I'm glad somebody somewhere has some business. And, you know, gay business just sounds so much friendlier. *wink* Now, let's watch our next president kick some ass... xo

Anonymous said...

I'm a conservative and in my country, gay marriage isn't seen as a left-wing or right-wing issue; it's a human rights issue (just as, abortion isn't seen as a left vs. right issue but rather a women's health issue). Sure, there are Catholic zealots who oppose both, but they fall at every place along the political spectrum. In fact, come to think of it, they tend to vote for the left-wing parties more than the right.

Most of my US friends are Republicans, and all but one are pro-Choice and pro-gay marriage, so I think in your country it isn't quite as simple as left vs. right, either.

It seems like BOTH the Democrats as well as the Republicans want to distract you with these issues, because both parties know that this economic crisis has no political basis and neither party has a great solution, and solving the health care issue or education isn't simple or straight-forward, either.

Ivy Lane said...


The Crafty Cameleon said...

Are you sure that was a joke?


Anonymous said...

Anon 7:32 wrote:

"Most of my US friends are Republicans, and all but one are pro-Choice and pro-gay marriage, so I think in your country it isn't quite as simple as left vs. right, either."

My staunch Republican husband is pro-choice and pro-gay marriage too.

It IS bigoted to deny civil rights to people who have not broken any law. Horribly, horribly bigoted.

Gay people, you have our support.

Anonymous said...

I think that God wants gays to be able to get married just like everyone else, I really do.

Anonymous said...

I love you, 3:27 and 4:02.

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 25yrs to a man who proudly proclaims his political leanings to the republican party. He listens to trash talk fox news on the radio all day. It has altered him tremendously. And as we grow older I become more and more convinced that he has lost his way. My affiliation to a party is a little more obscure. I do tend to lean left but I have to say I am sickened by both parties. They have used the citizens of this country like puppets and each party has found key issues to divide us all. I once made the comment, in a heated argument with my husband, that morality does not belong in politics. Not very articulate, to be sure, but in my defense I tend to lose my verbal skills when I am angry or being attacked (I suck at debating too!). My husband made a huge deal over that one and I'm sure he probably repeated that comment to his republican friends as an example of the true face of the democratic party. The issue over abortion and gay rights and hand guns and teaching children about contraceptives and more than I can even count moral issues will probably never be resolved in my lifetime. But as we move further and further apart on these issues I fear we are passing on the legacy of a fucked up world to my children. I for one would like to hear someone with answers. It isn't ever going to come from the parties the way they are now and I fear we are heading down the path of war amoungst ourselves. What is really scary is, I know there are alot of wackos who have sputtered this retoric about civil war and the demize of the US for years. I truly thought they were all mental. Now I am not so sure. The issue of gay equality hopefully will come to pass. We should obviously never deny the right for any human being to live the life they have been given on this earth, (I love pointing out to my husband that historically some of the worlds most fearsome leaders were gay and date back to the beginning of humankind. Even before the sanctity of marriage was conceived) but there will always be bigots who will never accept same sex couples. And until we all evolve into beings with unisex genitialia, fear will continue to dictate this bigotry. I love my husband but I hate his politics of fear.

Anonymous said...


I'm going to turn my music up really loud and rock my fucking head off.

Anonymous said...

10:33 - with a mother like you, your kids will be just fine. I'd bet money on it.

Anonymous said...

10:33--I like your thoughtfulness. I hope you stick around here. Maegan said...

I love the gays!!!! Seriously, I hate all this anti-gay stuff's just so stupid. Anyone should be able to marry whomever they frigging want to ...IT'S THEIR LIFE! ...and no one else should have a say.


What's left to say...

Mike and McGee said...

I think I love you.

Anonymous said...

I, for one, would like the government and everyone else to stay out of my uterus, religious beliefs, or lack thereof, and right to marry whomever I chose. Equality and choice for everyone despite what that wackjob Palin says. (See I was exercising some of my rights!) P.S. The world would be a badly decorated ugly place without the gays.

Jackie Von Tobel said...

This may be one of your best posts - at least top ten! Love the pro comments, reality based with a sense of humor. The cons can suck it - or not! I'd rather have two dads than none which is the case too often. Keep up the good fight!

Anonymous said...

Do you know if there are any more photos of their kitchen...I want to see more of what I see in the 'Gays' kitchen but can't find anything online.

Anonymous said...

November 10, my partner and I will celebrate 25 years of whatever you want to call it. In the fact that we work and live together, commute 2 hours a day together, I will put my relationship up against anyone's. We are the longest term relationship of any of our friends including our married siblings. Most of whom have been married more than once.
We have lived in the same house for 25 years, I have lived in it for 29. We know and are friendly with all of our neighbors in a small Texas town. To date, we have had no bad experiences with anyone except a couple of smart ass teenagers, but that's to be expected.
We have buried each other's mothers. He has seen me through a life threatening blood clot and two hip surgeries. I have seen him through Leukemia. Because we went to the trouble of spending thousands of dollars on legal fees to make sure we have powers to control the future of each other, and because for the most part, Medical power of attorney pretty much calls the shots anywhere, we had no trouble. I slept on the floor of his room for the 45 nights of his treatment. Our families accept and love us both and treat us like full family members. I have no paper stating that I have civil rights like my coworkers who are common law. Some of the very common law people I speak of went to the polls in Texas two years ago and signed their ballots to determine that in Texas marriage is between one man and one woman. I cannot ever forsee Gay Marriage in the Lone Star State without Federal intervention. I am not sure I even want it. BUT for the hundreds of thousands of people who do want it, I fail to see how it will affect their friends and neighbor's marriages.

I respect the Republican reader (self-identified) who said all unions should be civil and marriages could be Churches. I personally think a WEDDING should be in a church. I believe a civil marriage should be available to every citizen of this great country. We have seen the effect of "separate but equal" in this country.

In the final analysis, I feel as married as anyone I know, and the people that actually work with me, the people I am friends with, and who have observed us together for the last twenty five years consider us married as well. However, I feel it unfair that I don't automatically get the benefits of a civil marriage and that I had to spend thousands to get to even a fraction of those benefits simply because of who I love.

An Aesthete's Lament said...

Between them, my parents have had five marriages. Not that this is a bad thing, mind you, just sort of a combination of bad luck and poor decisions, I guess. I'm all for marriage, gay or straight. The lousy thing about Proposition 8 is that it would take away a right already in place—which, frankly, is a mean-spirited and hateful thing to do. And who wants to go to their grave having taken away a person's legal right?

Anonymous said...

Let's not start using the phrase "civil marriage." It's a mongrel term, and it just muddies the differences between "civil union" and "marriage."

The terms are NOT interchangeable. "Civil union" does not provide the same rights as marriages.

There needs to be only one term, and one reality: Marriage.

Iheartfashion said...

Preach it Sistah!

Ms. Molly said...

fabulous. so beuatifully written, just fabulous.

Ms. Molly said...

fabulous. so beuatifully written, just fabulous.

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