Monday, October 27, 2008

Talk dirty to me.


Ok, not really. I don't want to hear the nitty-gritty.

But I did just read HERE that married people are having sex about once a week. Really?

What about you? Please let us know if you are:

Married, engaged, single, dating, gay or straight and how many times a week you are getting laid.

Bonus points if you have ever gotten laid in the sweater mentioned in the post below (kudos to you!).

96 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm married with a two-year-old and one on the way. Obviously, we made time to conceive kid #2, but frankly, sex just isn't a priority right now. We probably have sex a couple times a month - but we're usually so tired/worn down/sick/insert lame excuse here that we just don't get it on as often as we'd like. I think if we had more date-nights we could work it in more easily (our stats are MUCH higher when relaxed & on vacation) but after putting toddler to bed, cleaning up from dinner and running the laundry, there isn't a whole lot of energy left for the horizontal hokey pokey. My husband has a super-stressful job that requires a lot of hours - he makes a lot of money as a result, but the sacrifices have to come somewhere and for us, it's our sex life. I think both of us are ok with this for right now - we do take the occasional overnight trip without the toddler and definitely enjoy one another's company ;-). Hopefully in a few years my answer will be different. Small children have a way of sapping energy for just about anything... Decorno, I hope you are getting more sleep, more exercise, more time with friends, more time to vegetate and definitely more time for sex than I am! ;-) Fun question - thanks!

Anonymous said...

Single...and I think it's possible I'm having negative sex. Without boyfriend, not a sleeper arounder...So anonymous, 8:17, hope that makes you feel better! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about married people: Do they have sex only on the weekends?

I ask because we always go out for breakfast on Sundays, and it's clear that the diner we go to is filled with post-coital couples. I figure they're Sat. night/Sun. morning people. Is that when married folks do it, primarily?

Anonymous said...

I'm newly married, no kids, and we have sex 1-2 times a week. And yes, we're morning people. Which makes me very nervous about what will happen when we have kids! Can you have morning sex if you have kids?

Anonymous said...

I've been married for not quite 3 years and we have sex anywhere from 3-5 times a week, just depending on our schedules and whatnot. We get it on more when we don't HAVE to be in our bed - it feels naughty when we do it on the couch with the lights on with the hopes that a neighbor might see us.

Anonymous said...

I've been married for about a year and a half now. My husband and I have sex about 3 times a week (and not just on the weekends- although that is prime sexin' time), but that number can vary depending on how busy our schedules are. I like to think we do pretty well considering he works full time and I am in medical school.

mamacita said...

You'll probably wish that I had answered this anonymously, but here I am being all brave and over-sharing:

I'd say our average is slightly north of once per week. I mean, once per week is the least we've done, but it has happened. We have two kids, who sleep in the next room, but who are, fortunately, heavy sleepers.

Fear not, Anon 8:38, the early morning hours are good, before you get the kids out of bed. But the best is when you can sneak away from work (or "work from home") and get some afternoon delight.

"Thanks for the visual, Mamacita!"
Hey, you're welcome.

Oh, and I've been married 12 years, but I'm rather slutty (though, hey, I'm no Elaine).

corine said...

Going strong after 20 years. It's not all about quantity you know. About once a week for us, but it's steamy hot. You know they say that marriage still gives you better odds of getting laid on a regular basis past the age of 40. It's sad but true. Young people don't think bout this, they think they will be attractive forever, but after a certain age, if you're not in a relationship already, you're kind of out of luck sexually.

corine said...

oops, I had meant for that last comment to be anonymous. Oh well.

Also in response to poor anon 8:17. Yes, small children are the absolute death of lust. Take heart.

Anonymous said...

single, living with boyfriend for about 4 or 5 years now. we have sex about twice a week with our busy schedules.

Anonymous said...

Sex in public has been our latest thing. Rail yards and alleys and such. I highly recommend it.

Anonymous said...

We're married 18 years, this is my second marriage, his first. He is 13 years younger than me...I am 65..Saturday night is date night altho sometimes it's Sunday afternoon delight. And yes, it just gets better and better.

Anonymous said...

I'm married for about 4 years, no kids and we have sex about once a week (usually Sunday).

Anonymous said...

Good news: Married for 10 years, child of 3. Bad news: marriage has taken a real hit these last years. Really bad news: We haven't had sex for almost 2.5 years. Good news: We are really working on our marriage with nightly times to connect again. It's hard hard work, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel and a return to sexuality for both of us.

Before our child, we had sex 3 times a week. Yep. Kids are a zapper, as are stressful jobs, and realizing we didn't really know how to nurture each other.

Anonymous said...

i was married and having sex about once every three months. i'm divorced now. go figure.

Anonymous said...

Second marriage, married five years. We've historically had sex usually every day, sometimes more. Usually in the morning.

We're (I'm) getting tired. So now we have sex 4-5 times/week which I think is more reasonable. Sometimes still every day. We're highly sexually compatible, in case there's some question. Also, sex doesn't always necessarily mean the full-on.

Only one kid left at home. It makes a huge difference when you are not exhausted from work and kids, even once the kids can start to take care of themselves.

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:17: I understand why you are tired however men are never okay with no sex. In fact, it's always a priority for them.

Are there any men out there who disagree?

Anonymous said...

I've been married for 2.5 years (no kids), and my husband and I just recently figured out the perfect sex schedule for us - once a week, every Sunday afternoon. When we were dating, we both had erratic schedules, no real responsibilities, and could stay up all hours of the night and have lots of sex whenever. Things eventually got a lot more stable and we went through some major dry patches because we hadn't adjusted our sex schedule to our new life schedules. Now we've got a good routine going (we're both big routine people), and its great. I know some people would say that once a week isn't enough, but its working great for us and that's all that really matters!

Anonymous said...

Yup, once a week or so. We've been married 9 years, together, 14, and we have 2 little ones. For us, it's quality, not quantity.

Anonymous said...

OMG, yes, 3 teens and 3 under 8. Married 16 years and 4 to 5 times a week and I promise you wearing that sweater wouldn't make a difference.

Anonymous said...

Second marriage, early thirties, the sex is off the charts. I used to be a girl who wasn't sure if the "big O" actually existed, or if it did, maybe it was limited to certain lucky people.

But now...I cannot even believe what my body can do. I mean, where does it come from?? I heard Halle Berry spoke about this in an interview recently.

In a nutshell, for some of us, when we are younger, we are still self-conscious. It's ironic. I looked better then, but I was more self-conscious. I may weigh a bit more now, but I feel good, confident, and it WORKS for me in bed(3+ times a week...a good lover can make you forget what tired is with one kiss)!

Anonymous said...

Not sure how many who have made comments are gay, but I am and I've been with my partner for just about four years. We usually have sex once a week. It's almost always on the weekend. He'd like more, of course. :) So, throw that thought that gay people are having more sex than you out the window.

Anonymous said...

Not had sex for 3 years -ever since the kid was born. No problems in marriage and no, we don't have sex with other partners. Really wierd!

Anonymous said...

In a serious-practically-married relationship and we have sex once a week on saturdays. I have no frigging idea how it came to be on a schedule like that, but it just works that way.
We're both pretty fine with this.

Anonymous said...

married three years, been together 10. no kids. we have sex once or twice a month. sad but true. its not that we don't want to more often, but we have very different schedules and its difficult to find a time that we're both up for it.

marlazz said...

married for 17 yrs, at least 2x a week. what can I say? keeps him happy.

Anonymous said...

I've been with my husband for 7 years, and have not yet procreated. We do the dirty an average of 2-3 times a week. Sometimes it's less. I adore him, though, so I like to keep him satisfied.

Anonymous said...

i've only been married about 5 months but we've been together for 5 years. we're all over the place. some weeks it's once or twice and others it's 3-6 times. it's certainly not his priority, i think he'd often rather be sleeping.

Anonymous said...

What about Brad and Angelina and their 6 kids? Help or no help, how often do they do it?

Anonymous said...

Married 26 years and usually tango once a week on the weekend. Three adult children living at home and on those rare occasions when we find ourselves alone in the house it's like "Sex me up baby!"

Anonymous said...

My hubby and I have been married for 6 years and have a 5 year old. I would say sex varies from 2-5 a week depending on how tired we are. Weekends are always more likely and sometimes we have sex more than once in the day. We just both make time for sex and it is something that is important to both of us. Horny bastards I guess.

Anonymous said...

Married almost 2 1/2 years (no kids yet) and we've gotten into the routine of twice a week - Saturday and Sunday mornings. Occasionally, we'll do something mid-week too.

Anonymous said...

i've been married for 1.25 years but with him for 6 and we started off with lots of sex all the time and now...I just realized I've now gotten my period twice with no sex in between. Up until now it had been once a week. The lack of sex is stressing me out making it harder for both of us. fuck.

Anonymous said...

Well I guess I better weigh in. Once a week on a bad week. A few years ago it was at least 3x a week. We just seem to be to busy, tired whatever,. Good news we just celebrated our 40th. and are trying to get more playtime.

Anonymous said...

Been with my husband for 17 years (married for almost 10). Before we had kids (7, 5, 3 yrs. old), we had sex between 2-3X a week. Since kids, and in between pregnancies, nursing my babies, lack of sleep, we do it about 1X a week. I adore my husband, have never been with anyone else (sexually), and have to say the morning sex is non-existent now that our alarm clock is our 3yr. old climbing into bed with us at 6:30 a.m.!!! My husband is desperate for one more child (I am on the fence), and so I don't think the numbers will increase if I capitulate.

Anonymous said...

Usually its once a week if I get really "lucky". I always initiate and get turned down constantly. Total blow to my delicate female ego.

6 years. Things are very rocky. I beg for sex, but its just not his priority. We are not married, he has NO sex drive, and I'm a slut.

I'm going bonkers and tempted to cheat. Boys do like me - so why doesn't he want me? This is the only guy who turns down a nice blow job and ball rub.

We've discussed this in depth, I've told him explicitly what I need and how I feel...but he just was never a very sexual guy.

We are incompatable sexually. This is going to be a total deal breaker for me. In every other respect we are a great couple, and I think this is why the relationship has gone on so long. I was always willing to compromise...and never realized how important sex was to me.

I'm so attracted to him and when we do have sex its amazing. I just want more - all the time - and I'm tired of being treated like a dog begging for a treat.

Anonymous said...

It varies depending on what we're up to that week. IE: World Series week, we didn't have any sex. Husband too tired after staying up nightly! But we've had some weeks where we did it daily.

Average, I'd say 2-3 times a week. We've been married for 12 years, no kids. If we're not having it, the general reason is that one of us is too tired. My husband takes a LONG time so 5 minute quickies are out of the question.

Anonymous said...

I'm bi, been in a wonderful straight relationship for a year and a half, but alas, its a long distance affair as we're going to different colleges. However, when we are together, its one long ass sex marathon. Its hot and steamy and sweet and loving. Basically, perfect!

I worry about what will happen if we get married or at least in the same state. I assume we'd get it on at least once a week, but don't actually know.

Anonymous said...

Men with no sex drive need to have their testosterone level checked. If it is low then a little daily pill will be enough to get their "juices flowing" and then you will wish that you had never gotten that advice!

Anonymous said...

Married 15 years, 3 kids. Sex 2-3x/week. Still not enough for him but even if we were doing it twice daily he would want more. I am not always up for it because of the reasons mentioned by most of you - kids, busy schedules, laundry, dishes -etc., but I find it keeps him happy - he tends to get grumpy if isnt getting it regularly. Once we get started I am happy to be there!

Anonymous said...

I have been married for almost 8 years, we have two young children, under 6. We both love sex and do it anywhere from once a week to 7 or eight times. The trick we have found is to touch and kiss all the time, especially nearing the kids bedtime, don't worry, nothing too risque, and by the time they are asleep we are both ready to go.

If we wait till after we have started watching tv or reading then we just get too tired to begin and go to bed without the satisfaction. No fun, I need the lovin'. :(

Anonymous said...

Hey everyone! I am 27, female, and in a 2 year straight relationship. When my boyfriend and I first got together, I hadn't been on birth control in years, and we were so hot for each other we were having amazing, daily sex. After a few months we decided it safest for me to get back on the pill. And now? WHERE IS MY SEX DRIVE!?!?!? It's unreal. I am on Loestrin Fe/120- low dose stuff, and I swear it has totally zapped my sex drive. My guy is gorgeous, hilarious and FULL OF DESIRE, and it kills me to see him wanting me so badly, and there I am just feeling so little. And it's not for lack of love or interest in him: he's my soul mate! I literally feel just, almost numb to sex. Often I'll engage in sex to keep him from feeling badly, and I do orgasm, but honestly, if he were not so interested in sex, I don't think we'd have it but once a month. WHICH IS SO SO SAD!!! I've always loved sex, and am lucky to be with such a sensual man. Something must be done about this pill situation. Am I crazy? Has this happened to any other women??

Anonymous said...

Married 25 years. Two young children. Exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. My partner and I are very happy together, but we could definitely use a bit more make sexy time. Recent health issues and intensive work demands have challenged our sex life. When we're 'on track,' we have sex about once a week.

Decorno, are you just the facilitator/discussion leader here or a participant?

Anonymous said...

I've always wondered that, too, anon 1:49. Come on, Decorno! Spill.

Anonymous said...

how do you know she hasn't already, anonymously?

Anonymous said...

Gay guy in GA here. My partner and I have been together about 2 years - we have sex about 3-4 times a week. I thought we were the norm?

Anonymous said...

Been married almost 3.5 years, no kids. Got off the pill almost 6 months ago. Boy what a difference! I never realized how much it had zapped my sex drive! We used to be lucky to have sex once a week on the weekends. Now, it's at least 3-4x a week.

Anonymous said...

I mean that she should spill on whether she has posted anonymously.

Anonymous said...

what is the point? It would still be anonymous.

Anonymous said...

corine-

"but after a certain age, if you're not in a relationship already, you're kind of out of luck sexually."

I'm 52 and in the six years since my divorce I've gotten more sex (2 consecutive relationships) than in the 16 years I was married!

As soon as we said "I do" we didn't anymore. My ex had very little sex drive, except when he was sampling a coochie that was new to him. For him it was all about the chase, not the delivery.

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 8+ years and we have sex on average 1-2 times per week. For me it is not a lack of desire (my husband has a smokin hot body) but a lack of energy. I work full-time and commute so by the time I get home, cook dinner, and clean up around the house I am exhausted! I am now expecting our first child and I am on "pelvic rest" so that means nothing lately. Which is ok with me because I feel anything but sexy at the moment.

Anonymous said...

But don't you wonder if she ever says stuff anonymously to fan the flame? I don't care which posts are hers. I'm just curious to know if she does it. If I had a blog as good as hers, I think I would.

Anonymous said...

anon 1:38--you are Not Crazy, it's the pill!!

It was EXACTLY the same for me
with my boyfriend (soulmate, great sex, etc., together almost 5 years, now we live together). The pill was a delayed un-horn-ifying, but after being on for three years, I was over it!

Been off for a year & a half* (we do the old fashioned condom moment), and my sex drive is back to normal. I am pretty much always up for it nowadays, and initiate a LOT, which I never did when I was on the pill. I'd say we are a 1-4x/wk in regular life (not counting vacay), because our schedules are BUSY! It's more now that we live together though ;-)

*(and I'm so glad to be off pill for other reasons, too, because my bff had to go to the hospital a few months ago b/c of a blood clot in her leg & lungs from birth control pills!!! She could have died!!! The blood clots are not as rare a side effect as your doc might try & tell you. Sorry to get off topic, but had to share.)

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 7 years, am a 30 year old female and have sex with my husband between 3-5 times a week. We went through a dry (ha!) spell for awhile, but we are back at it every other day or so now.

Anonymous said...

i'm 34, just got out of a 2 year relationship with a man i adored. unfortunately we had zero sex life, which led to many tearful fights, bruised ego, and therapy. turns out, he is a porn addict, and i didn't know it. he would not have sex with me, and when we did (2x a month at best) it always ended with him, um...taking care of himself, if you know what i mean. i was miserable, and he just didn't think it was a big deal. so, 2 years of bad/no sex, therapy, etc...and it's over. i'm still suffering from a serious bruised ego, but i guess it's for the best. i miss sex!!

Anonymous said...

anon 1:38

What are you doing?! For god's sakes, get a diaphragm, use condoms, use foam, pull out, do whatever it takes. Stop being a victim.

Anonymous said...

Love this post, keep up the commenting!!! Me and mine, haven't had sex in months. Just got off birth control, and feel more randy...I almost feel like I forgot how fun sex is. We've been together 7 years, im 29, he's 25....we should definitely be upping our average!

Anonymous said...

I don't care what the doctors say. Birth control pills are bad. We shouldn't be messing with Mother Nature.

Anonymous said...

20 years and still going strong. Actual sex 2 - 3 times / week. Some story of busy schedules, but we keep sexy "stuff" in our day EVERY day. i.e naughty text messages, teasing nudity flashes while getting dressed, deep kisses, soft touch in the small of my back, bump and grind while cooking etc. We know it's not going to actually happen every day, but we keep it in the forefront of our relationship.

Decorno said...

Oh, I wish I could comment, but a few people at my company read this. So does my fiance's ex wife. And girls at his office. So, understandably, I need to keep mum.

jen said...

Married 5 years, no kids - sex usually 3-4 times a week. After reading all these posts, not looking forward to the sex life (or lack thereof) after having kids...

Anonymous said...

Jen - sex is better now than it was pre-children. Not sure why but it is. More frequent too and I have little ones. I am not on the pill, all this pill talk makes sense to me, I had lower sex drive while on it.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:38, the pill killed my sex drive, too.

You're not being a victim, but I say get off the pill immediately, stock up on the condoms and wait for the desire to return. Because it will!

Anonymous said...

I've been with my boyfriend for about 9 months. We do it about 3-4 times a week which is not much for a new relationship I guess.

It seems as though for most of the month I'm not all that up for it and I'm not sure if it's to do with the menstual cycle. But there will be about 5 days when I'm CONSTANTLY horny. The rest of the month I don't really feel like it and do it cause I feel bad for him. I don't get turned on as easily as I used to. Deep kisses and necking used to do it for me. Not anymore. ARGHHH it's like they have been desensitized. I also get really distracted by things like shirt and sweater pulling. I mean, I know it's the heat of the moment, but they NEVER go back to the same shape after all the tugging around.

No idea how you guys can do it in public though! We used to do it in the laundry, public toilets, everywhere. But now I find it kinda a turn off. Its uncomfortable. There are weird things poking your butt/back. And I don't really like the sweat. Also, I keep thinking about the germs. It's insane. I don't even want to think about how it's going to be when I get married.

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone! I'm anon 1:38. For those of you with pill experience, thanks for responding!

I wanted to just interject that the reason I returned to the pill was actually two-fold: 1. we of course wanted to be as safe as possible with regard to pregnancy, but 2. because of my absolutely extraordinarily excruciating cramps. for the longest time i had a narcotic prescription (i've tried EVERYTHING: prescription ibuprofin, naproxin, etc.) that would help somewhat with the pain, but would pretty much keep me in bed for 4 days. i eat a great diet and exercise regularly and according to my gyno have nothing "wrong" with me, i'm just terribly unlucky she says. so, that's the issue with getting off the pill. i've been taking it for three months straight, having one period, and then on again for three months. it's LIFE CHANGING not having those terrible periods- but HELLO! i need sex also!

what's a girl to do??

Anonymous said...

Married. I've been with the same great guy for ten years. We average 4 to 5 times a week. I will flip out if there are ever two days in a row. We have always made time, even if it means waking the other up in the night. It is a nice wake up call.

I am leaving this anonymous because my husband and I don't discuss details publicly. Although I do feel good about life, sex and all;)

Anonymous said...

Whoops. I meant two days in a row with out!!!

Anonymous said...

I wish my husband and I were having more sex. If we do it once a month it's a lot. I find myself dirty talking with men that i'm sexually attracted to. It's frustrating being married to someone who lasts 5 minutes in bed...It's like we start....And there it goes 5 minutes later. I find my self wanting to cheat..I've done it in the past...Not proud about it but.... I would be nice if he at least put a little more effort into having sex with me. He said that when i talk dirty to him it makes him cum faster..

At least you get it a couple of times a month!!!

Anonymous said...

31 year old SAHM with a 2yo and 4yo. Happily married for 6 years but we've been together 11.

Before kids we had sex 2-3 times weekly. We average once a week now for his sake and it usually lasts about 10mins. Kids are right outside the door. I keep a sex log (how romantic) to be sure he gets that attention every week, whether I feel like it or not.

I only want sex about once a month, usually when I'm ovulating. but it's really good and lasts longer on those days. I'm hoping that when the kids are in school and I have time for myself that my drive will return.

2 things I've learned... the BC pill kills it for me and I can't "finish" if on xanax (used for those awful pmdd days.)

Emily said...

I've been married to the most understanding and wonderful man for almost 2.5 years. When we got married I was on the pill and so it was 2-3 times a week at best...unless I "thought" myself into the mood: lots of "come on! This is your VERY ATTRACTIVE husband who wants to be intimate with you! Give it a shot...

So to Anon 1:38 -- honestly once I would get myself into that headspace and we were into the foreplay, I enjoyed it a lot and often found myself wondering WHY IN THE WORLD we didn't have sex more. Could be helpful to you.

I stopped taking the pill so we could start trying for kids -- after the hormones adjusted (fun times for all) we jumped right in to EVERY SINGLE DAY. Not just because we want kids, but because I was In The Mood. And what man turns that down?

Fast forward ten months -- no kids, but a case of Viral Meningitis and the strict instructions to AVOID getting pregnant. Those two combined and our sex life dove into the negatives. The medication left me with an infection that required surgery and a long recovery period.

As soon as I was cleared for sex we started up again - it's slowly climbing back into an "acceptable" range (acceptable for us, not anyone else.)

The bonus of all of this is that first, I'm healthy. If we hadn't backed off my body wouldn't have been able to heal, much less grow another person. So that's important. Second, we were forced to revert to the "innocent" forms of intimacy that I see go out of so many relationships. Hand holding, kissing, cuddling...the stuff that makes your friends ill. Without giving too many details, our intimate life hasn't gotten the lull that others have.

Anyway, that was long, but it's a story that maybe can help other people. :-)

heartbreakingly beautiful said...

anon 1:38, I used to have HORRIBLE cramps also!! email me.

don't want to get off topic here ;-)

Anonymous said...

Mirena IUD a good option for those who dont want to be on pill but dont plan on having kids for several years or are done having kids.

porter hovey said...

Keep hope alive for us single people that once you get married you have sex more then once a week! PLEASE!!!

Amy said...

I'm married with a 3 yo and a 1-1/2 yo... I have a Mirena, which someone recommended above, and I LOVE IT! The insertion was a piece of cake.

Anyway, we are doing it once or twice a week, but when we do it's good. Unless the kids wake up in the middle. Then it's just sad.

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Married. Just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We've been together for about 5 years total. We used to bang like bunnies in the beginning. It started to taper off even before we got married. I think we did it ONCE on our honeymoon (2 weeks!) and it's been regularly once a month since. Sex aside, we have a great relationship. My husband gets really stressed at work, and we're both just lazy. It's sad.

Also, @anon 1:38pm, this "tapering off" all started when I went on birth control. Same low dose crap you're on. I know all too well that "numb" that you're talking about. I've been off the BC for about a year now, and the sex drive is starting to come back, but verrrrrry slowly.

Anonymous said...

HOPE:

At 30, evrything that I ever heard could happen but never did, HAPPENED.

Anonymous said...

(huh?)

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:38 - Loestrin is the devil! I loved that it made me have regular, two-day periods, but I started on it right after I got married, and the first several months of our marriage were pathetically missing a lot of sex. I just recently changed, and it has gotten a little better, but not much.

Anonymous said...

Almost been married a year (in one week!)and have no kids. Have sex 5-8 times a week. Generally 4x on the weekend and 3x during the work week. Both of us work at least 50 hours a week and seems the only time we see each other is in bed. It helps that we both get up at the same time for work every morning.;)

Anonymous said...

I am 41 and have been married for 18 years. We don't have any children. It has been so long since I had sex I can't remember, but I am guessing 4 years since my husband and I were intimate. This just doesn't happen overnight. The time before that it had probably been a year. My husband and I co-exist under the same roof and in the same bed each night. It is rather lonely. I am thankful for my one crush even though he wasn't attracted to me. The sensations he stirred deep inside provided me the opportunity to learn to please myself and I will be forever grateful to him and my hand held shower.

the thunder from down under said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

ok so.. ive been with my bf for about 2 years, living together for about 6 months..

When I was married we had horrible sex.

I'm 25, female, separated..soon to be divorced..


We dont have a schedule at all..
He is an artist and I am a crafter..

I wouldn't even be able to give a stat on this question. Although I can say that he is the most attentive lover I have ever had.

But we dont have as much sex as we used to..
But when we do its still pretty hot..

..
?

Anonymous said...

I own 2 of those sweaters -one in that color and and one black. I have sex 6 times a week. things are good. maybe y'all should buy that sweater.

Anonymous said...

39 years old, almost 9 years with the same man. Lucky if I get sex once/ month. Don't know why, exactly; I ask him why he doesn't want it more often and he says, we're not in our 20s any more. I wonder if it's because I'm no longer attractive, or simply because he has replaced in-the-flesh sex with me with all the porn he watches on his computer.

He assures me that no couple who has been together for almost a decade has sex more often than we do. I'm glad to read here that he's wrong. Well, glad for all of you. But humiliated and dumb-founded on my own behalf.

Anonymous said...

Wow this question and these posts have been fascinating...

Here's mine..married for 2 years and we do it about every 2-3 weeks. It feels wrong for us as we used to do it a lot more. But fatigue, work stress and for me, lack of drive. I suffer from a lot of guilt from it and I try to keep it in the dialogue in sort of a silly loose way..."I bet we'll have sex this weekend!" "Don't worry, we'll be having sex soon!" so at least we don't slide into a quiet denial phase. He's pretty understanding tho. :)

Anonymous said...

Me and boyfriend used to do it at 1-3 times a day on our first year and a half together(it's been almost 4 years). Most of that being public/in the car. He is like the energizer bear and go for numerous times of at least 20 minute sessions a day most being in a row, so his drive will never be an issue. When we see each other (few times a week) we always do it, but I miss our old days. My job is ruining our sex life. I'm hoping when we move in together we'll go back to at least twice a day(which is what we do on holidays). Reading these comments I am NOT looking forward to marriage or kids!
ps:I know that my grandparents still used to do it in their 70s, though I dunno how often.

Anonymous said...

Married for 12 years and have three kids-have sex about twice a week and you have to make time for it even when the kids are little- We found when we had newborns it was alot like bowling- you dont do it very often but when you do you really like it - Now we sleep alot more and are ready to join a league and get shirts with our name embroidered on them- Lovin' that man of mine!

Down Comforter said...

quite an informative blog
i loved to read through the lines
thanks everybody

GiltTrip said...

I always think about the people who say men MUST have sex. So if your husband goes away for a year at pop, let's say to Iraq. Then he NEEDS to cheat? I am 39, married 12 years, two kids under 7. We have weeks of sex and then month and months of nada. Our best bet is a vacation, where we are both relaxed and have lots of free time. I don't believe in doing it just to give him a few moments of "don't cheat on me honey" sex. If you think he will look somewhere else when life doesn't give you time for intimacy then chances are something besides a sexless life can tank your relationship. AND I think the once a week number must average in the Duggers and their friends. When you have 18 kids, sex has to happen every day, twice or more don't ya think? I last had sex 3 weeks ago, twice on a Sunday morning and afternoon. When we do find time, it is wonderful but 140 nights away a year (not in the Army now) for work means we have more to our life than weekly bangs.

Leslie/Miss Havisham said...

Do none of you people take SSRIs or SNRIs aka anti-depressents...ya know...Lexapro, "sex-a-no"?

I'm 24, single, had sex 3 times (2 people) in the past three months (both were "oops I drank too much")

Decs said...

Oops-I-drank-too-much sex is the best kind.

Anonymous said...

I've been married for one year, together for eight, no kids. We have gone through highs and lows in our relationship, but as more time goes by it seems we have less and less sex. I am becoming very familiar with that "numb" feeling. I find i have little or no interest in sex any more and mostly end up having it because I feel guilty. Its a major issue in our marriage. Historically the sex has been pretty great, but my body just doesn't respond any more.

Anonymous said...

been with the bf for about 4 years. at first we had sex probably every day or 5 times a week. But now for the last 2 or 3 years we've only had sex a handful of times. We do other things but not actually sex which has gotten painful for me. But still, we probably only have intimate moments 3-4 times a month. I had been on celexa which definitely inhibited drive but now have been off for about 4 months and it hasn't made a big difference in my drive. He'd like to have sex everyday and takes it personally when we don't. it has become quite a problem.

am i the only one?

Anonymous said...

I'm 26, I live with my boyfriend, and we've been together for about 2 years. We have sex, on average, every other day during the week, and often multiple times on the weekends.

Anonymous said...

Gay, 31, been with my boyfriend for 13 years, at least once a week, usually not more than twice though.

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