interiors | art | gardens | style | travel

Dear kitchen,

Let's make out.

(More to love HERE.)

P.S. Sara, you should change the "button" graphics on your website. They make your site look a little homemade. Also, you shouldn't have an "enter" page. No one wants to wait to get to the good stuff.

While we're on that subject, why do people do that, anyway? Worst offender is THIS one. I could give myself a home perm in the time it takes to load those pages.

Just a little advice from your viewing public and adoring fans. You ladies put together some fine-looking rooms. Seriously.


Anonymous said...

Wait, really? You want to make out with THAT kitchen? I don't get it. Looks too "This is a nice, neat kitchen from a model house in suburban Minneapolis...". Maybe the picture isn't showing everything. Am I being overly critical?

Decorno said...

Well, you haven't seen MY kitchen. I can guarantee you that I have the shittiest kitchen of all 3000 people who read this daily. Don't test me.

I am not usually a fan of the open kitchen thing, but look at it... a place for all your cookbooks, a place for friends to hang out. It's clean, tidy, sharp-looking and not fussy like those obnoxious Peacock kitchens. It's great.

If I woke up to find that kitchen in my house, I would cry with joy like someone just handed me a Publishers Clearinghouse check.

Anonymous said...

i enjoy your blog, but who are you to criticize other's web designs when you don't even have have a BLOG. it takes a lot of time and work to create a website and maybe you could have emailed your comments in private. let's see your website design and house pictures....miss critical.

Anonymous said...

I just read your post and quickly checked the link to make sure you weren't referring to the opening page on my website. I'm sure that person feels really great if they read your blog.

I've been a reader of your blog for some time now and although many of your posts are "in fun" or for "shock value", I think you are a bit mean-spirited at times when people work very hard to put themselves out there and take risks with their businesses for to you criticize them. We're not all graphic artists.

I feel better now that that's off my chest.

Decorno said...

Feedback is a gift.

Let me repeat: Feedback is a gift.

If they are smart in business they will listen and accept the feedback that improves their work.

I am also a customer of this sort of service. And the way I might decide to purchase it is to ask myself, "Why should I hire someone for her design expertise when she can't make a good decision about the design details of her own website?

These designers have public websites and offer a commercial service. In the same way that Starbucks sells coffee and doesn't get its heartbroken if I post, say, about their lids always leaking (which isn't true... that's actually true of Tully's, however...), I doubt these intelligent women will get their hearts broken when they hear valid feedback.

Not everyone is overly sensitive.

I am glad you posted this comment, however, and I appreciate your feedback. Why? Because feedback is a gift. :)

Anonymous said...

Are you the expert that decides what aesthetic is good for a website? Don't we all have our own opinions (thank God)? Perhaps I think the buttons are appealing. Feedback IS always good, but perhaps a private e-mail to the person would be a bit more tactful.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:06, 9:17, and 9:26 are correct.

A blog is not the place to express opinions.

Opinions are to be expressed in coal-black ink on cream-colored Mrs. Strong stationery, and sent by horseback to the offending party.

Blogs, on the other hand, are to be used for agreeing with everyone.

Anonymous said...

My kitchen might match yours, Decs. It is untouched since 1967 (except for a newer refrigerator).

Old, faded, worn fake-cobblestone linoleum. Generic formica countertops, dead white. Wood cabinets with flaking veneer. A 40-year-old stove that was probably marketed as "autumn brown."

And I love all of it. You can make a mess and not care. A kitchen is a workroom, for christ's sakes. It is supposed to get dirty, and take it. My boyfriend sits at the table and reads magazines and I cook up some eggs, and it's the best place in the world. Who needs fucking marble/granite/subway tiles/mahogany cabinets with insanely unnecessary Peacockian carving?

(Oops, forgive my tactlessness, lady bloggers. And by the way, go over to "Lovely and Chic Delights by Tasteful Decorating Ladies." It's a new blog. You will LOVE it.)

Anonymous said...

It's your blog, and you are certainly allowed to say whatever the hell you want. I'm sure that's why most of your readers stayed around - myself included. But something has changed in the tone of your posts and I'm just not enjoying it here anymore. It's the harshness and self-importance. Take it for what you want - you probably don't care. Just some feedback from a long time reader.

Pieter said...

I'm a web designer and I agree COMPLETELY with you DECORNO. Designers are in the business of making things look good. Your website is the first place where the majority of people get exposed to your work. Ignorance of other design disciplines is not an excuse. Your inability to understand the intricacies of other design disciplines undermines your work as a designer. It's not like these women run scrap booking classes at a community centre. They're professionals and their inability to respond to changing trends and feedback, will do a lot of damage to their businesses.

Pieter said...

I'm a web designer and I agree COMPLETELY with you DECORNO. Designers are in the business of making things look good. Your website is the first place where the majority of people get exposed to your work. Ignorance of other design disciplines is not an excuse. Your inability to understand the intricacies of other design disciplines undermines your work as a designer. It's not like these women run scrap booking classes at a community centre. They're professionals and their inability to respond to changing trends and feedback, will do a lot of damage to their businesses.

kayla said...

Oh shit. The last comment about Mrs. Strong stationery is HILARIOUS. I am slightly jealous that my wit didn't create that comment. KUDOS.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, it is tedious to have to wait, that is true. But I've just checked these links and had no trouble getting timely gratification. Also, the buttons aren't so bad - they make navigation damn easy and the editor in me appreciates that. (The 'enter' page is a little 5 years ago, however.) So you're not really speaking on behalf of the 'public', are you?

P.S. You 'should' know that telling others what they 'should' and 'shouldn't' do is most indecorous ...

Melissa said...

is anonymous actually anonymi
how many of you are there ?

I do agree however that you are fantastically bossy.
Websites are a comprosmise between speed and many
things I don't comprehend.

I have an open kitchen.

alis said...

As a VIEWER of those pages it gives decorno, me, anyone the right to criticize them. What's wrong with you ppl being offended? Your comments remind me of the "white people like to get offended on behalf of other people" title on Besides, this isn't that harsh at all. Slow & badly designed websites are stealing our precious time, it's ok to ask them to make improvements.

ps:I really, really hate "browser hijacker" sites; the ones that open a stupid pop-up, won't load for ages, and deny me access from reaching my other tabs!

alis said...

^^That being said, seems to be quite fast and efficient, despite my work computer's connection usually being awfull slow. The bullets at the other site is bad though. Make the words clickable, not the bullets.

Cristina said...

lol 10:09am

for your offense, dear Decorno, I challenge you to a duel at dawn on the bank of the river Thames. Bring your sword. I will supply the pistols.

ps you were right about the websites. Next time wrap your feedback in cotton candy for the kiddies.

Kwana said...

My kitchen is in desperate need of some love. Desperate. Hopefully the economy will pick up and make that possible. One day. Stupid big over range microwave chooses NOW to break! But, happily, this kitchen is lovely.

Decorno said...

11:04: Thanks for the feedback.

However, I haven't really changed. I have been writing snarky things all the way back to my "Things That are Wrong" posts or the infamous "Open Letter to Domino."

Now that I have more readers, *some* of the comments are just getting more caustic and reactionary, and that gets tiresome. There used to be a core group of readers and commenters who could tell when my tongue was planted firmly in cheek. A lot of them are still around, but there is a lot of noise from others drowning them out.

I have always believed that at least ONE of the decor/design blogs out there should offer a dose of criticism and not just fawning love, and I have delivered on that from the beginning. My blog is very consistent in this way.

Holly @ Maison James said...

Kudos to Decorno for calling
em like she sees 'em. I say, be yourself.

I agree feedback is good. It's not always easy to hear, but it appears she provided it to help these wildly talented designers out. Many business pay huge $$ for consumer response to their business decisions.

If you receive a piece of feedback you don't like, play around with it, then act accordingly on what you can and/or discard it if you don't agree or don't want to address it. Don't let it fester or turn to resentment.

Having said all of that I don't like the kitchen all that much.

Another Longtime Reader said...

There's been no change in tone.

The election-related posts have brought in a ton of people not used to the flavor of the commentary and the give-and-take in here. During the campaign, a lot of outrage and outrage-over-the-outrage got expressed, most of it about as meaningful as radio static.

But the flavor of the blog is the same, thank God.

Anonymous said...

Dear Decorno,

I am a fan of the snark and come to your Website every day because I find your voice utterly refreshing and downright hilarious.

Like you, I find the angry comments from readers flabbergasting. I have a popular Website (thank you Google) and I've found that whenever I get the least bit snarky in my blog, readers react viciously. You can tell they're regular readers because they bring up stuff I wrote about ages ago and their attacks are creepily personal and usually involve my picture (posted on my site and not by my choosing).

Anyway, it reminds me of something a Glamour magazine editor told me when I asked why magazines don't run more negative stuff. She bristled and said women read these magazines to feel good about themselves. I thought, "BORING." But maybe it's true.

Keep up the snark.

magnus said...

I read this blog because your criticism is both funny and valid. I go to other blogs for their marshmallow praise.

The button navigation on that decor site seems incongruous with the design aesthetic of the product. Maybe it's because the buttons look like stray tetris pieces that it doesn't work for me.

At least the design of the Samperton site is sophisticated and polished like the designer's product and is still easy to navigate. The site eventually loads directly to a menu page and not to some silly "Enter Site" page. Although if you have a slower connection, I can see how it may be annoying. I've seen worse.

Nina79 said...

Your snarky comments are actually the reasons why I enjoy your site so much decorno. And to me it's very clear that the opinions you express are just your opinions and people can agree or not. And I find it refreshing for someone to say things the way they see them and not try to sugercoat it. Sugercoating criticism is condescending.

ps: I'm sure my kitchen could keep up with yours on the ugly scale. It was 'designed' in the 80s and as we rent we can not change anything about it. So even if I'm not crazy about this kitchen I'd happily swap it for mine.

Anonymous said...

i didn't think the comments were mean at all. they were "constructive criticism." That second site had some pretty graphics, but it does wear your patience thin.

Anonymous said...

If you're charging $150,000 for a decorating job, PLUS a 35 percent markup on the cost of the furniture, you can take a little criticism of your website.

Anonymous said...

"telling others what they 'should' and 'shouldn't' do is most indecorous ..."

--Anon 12:51

If that were true, no decorating book would ever have gotten published.

kristin said...

I thought the kitchen was kinda bland and I thought, huh? I have always liked the one she did with the purple ceiling. I want that painted floor.

I love Samperton, but the process of viewing her portfolio is really tedious. I only do it when I really really want to look at a particular photo.

Anonymous said...

this has nothing to do with the kitchen (although, if you must know, i agree with anon 7:49's comment), but i heard that domino may be the next shelter magazine to shut it's doors. that can't be true.......can it?

susieq said...

I design websites and couldn't agree with you more. Splash pages are annoying as all get out. And any site that takes seconds to load is a mistake. Lots of bloggers make the mistake of not optimizing their photographs. They are huge -- and takes ages to load. I have nothing against Flash, but so many designers and photographers are using Flash-based sites that are not easily navigable and page views cannot be bookmarked. All-in-all, it means that these sites cannot be enjoyed by and useful to users. So, by all means, please please please offer up criticism. Web developers, designers, and clients need to know if their sites are cumbersome.

REs: "A blog is not the place to express opinions." Anonymous, you are flat-out mistaken. A blog is above all else OPINION. It's subjective. It's Decorno's blog. She can say, write, express whatever she chooses. And I like that she does!


nkp said...

Oh my, this is YOUR blog Decorno, yes? I know I come
to read YOUR posts because I find them interesting, regardless whether I agree with them or not. There's something to be said for honesty! Anyway, it is YOUR blog! :0)

kym said...

the kitchen is boring. yes, it's better, by miles, than alot of shithole kitchens, but it is not porny, Decorno, and that is the standard that drew me to you. i would rather send you the Publishers Clearinghouse check to deliver you from your kitchen ills, because I think you would do a better job. why? because you are damn right about the blogs/web designs. period.

kym said...

fascinating what happens in kitchens

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:50 PM

There are a slew of schadenfreude-infected websites out there taking gleeful note of various magazines dying off (see "magazine death pool" and gawker, for example), but I haven't seen one mention on the web, supported by actual evidence (even a quote from an unnamed employee), that supports your rumor.

Anonymous said...

I love the blandness of that kitchen. The kitchen is the one room in the house you don't need to be all decorator-y. It should be liveable, comfortable, relaxed--a place where you can concentrate on what you're doing, or enjoy good company and good food. Not stare awestruck at some $240-a-yard Quadrille fabric.

Anonymous said...

"REs: 'A blog is not the place to express opinions.' Anonymous, you are flat-out mistaken. A blog is above all [etc. etc.]"


Did the reference to horseback messengers really not clue you in to the comment's sarcastic intention?

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