Monday, April 20, 2009

Classy.


So, I get an email from Nicole at SO HAUTE and she writes:


So I've been searching for the perfect vintage brass coffee table and came across the craziest piece of furniture I've ever seen while searching craigslist... You will die when you see this coffee table...the base is a bronze naked lady with some sort of collar on her neck and her face all taped up...sort of looks like she was abducted and is fighting to get out from underneath that glass top! She's also wearing black tube socks (why?) and there's all kinds of random crap surrouding her...nail polish, tv remotes, nintendo remotes...vaseline (ew!)... I could not stop laughing when I saw it! There really are no words. Passing it along...

You can see it HERE.

This totally made my day.

31 comments:

Tara.Fields said...

Magnificent.

Ubercrafty said...

Photography 101: remove nail polish bottles and uplighting from around the naked-lady table...
oy! I don't know what's worst: the table itself or all the crap around it!

Musette said...

Well, she's not 'quite' nekkid. She has on a really detailed pair of panties (bikini bottom?) - is she pooping (or delivering) nail polish?

You know what really icks me out about this beyond all the detritus? How filthy the rug is! Don't they own a vacuum?

Carrie said...

Oh this shit is priceless. Especially the part where they only want offers over $1500. Delusional.

Kimberly Julie said...

Those tits must be fake... otherwise they'd be in her armpits. Let's be honest here.

And this table is klassy... with a "K", for sure.

ita darling. said...

the stacks and stacks of ashtrays are hilarious... i bet this table has seen a line or two!

Susan Lang @ Designing Your Dream Home said...

I want to see the black tube socks!

Iheartfashion said...

This is truly disturbing. Reminds me of an eBay photo I came across where a guy had balanced his bronze candlesticks on his hairy leg for the photo.

Tami said...

GROSS! As if the table itself isn't Klassy enough all of that crap around it is just disgusting! $1500? Uhhh, yea...ok!

ShockTheBourgeois said...

I'm reading this at work, and I can't laugh out loud without getting confused looks from my coworkers... so I'm crying trying to hold it all in. I have never seen something so funny.

These people have no shame. I love it.

THE BRICK HOUSE said...

finally my search is over. it is the best coffee table. how could you not have an awesome party with that as the centerpiece. I would keep the socks and tape on - makes it better.

SERIOUSLY though. $1500 and you can't tidy up a bit. Christ people are so nuts on craigslist.

Anonymous said...

I would enjoy dropping it into the middle of some Albert Hadley living room and watch the ladybloggers struggle to admire it.

Anonymous said...

The best is the third photo were there is a little dude with his eyes all wide by her foot. LMAO!

Holly said...

Icky poo.

So Haute said...

Hey! So glad you posted this! I'm still dying laughing over it!

And ita darling - did you notice the white specks all over the rug...i couldn't figure out whether it was lint or coke dust! You're probably on to something! This table is wrong on so many levels!

hunkate said...

"location: Jamaica"
this just makes it all the better in my mind!

Anonymous said...

It goes perfectly with the stripper pole I just gave my sister for her dorm room.

alissa said...

holy disturbing batman

TimandKim said...

What gets me is the jar of vaseline on the floor by her rear. I don't even want to know what they used that for.

gatherings home said...

So...i just clicked on the link and began to scroll down all the way, laughing hysterically as I kept seeing one gut busting pic after another. I do not want to think what kind of person owns this or why. I just want to help her.

Anonymous said...

Careful Decorno, this shit is going to get web hits from people seeking more than decorating porn.

Anonymous said...

...her face taped up?
i actually find this really disturbing.

Anonymous said...

Makes me feel ill and disoriented just looking at it.

I need to gaze at the pure, blue sky and green grass to regain my bearings.

Anonymous said...

can anyone say Emperor's New Clothes?
What a piece of crap.

Anonymous said...

They are also selling:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/clt/1128408456.html
and ...
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/msg/1128409144.html

weird...

magpiesandmagnolias said...

Oh.My.Gawd. Disgusting. The tape on the face is seriously creepy.

joy refurbished said...

That is the most amazingly ugly thing I have ever seen!
wow

Kwana said...

I can't close my mouth. Oh my. I can't imagine what goes on around bronze lady.

franki durbin said...

girl, I was scrolling, scrolling, scrolling... and then BLAMMO! You hit me with those brassy tips. There's something you don't see every day! LOL!

thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

Kwana, you are one of the funniest commenters ever.

SisterKristen said...

her juggs are totally unrealistic. those are not lying down juggs; if they were, they'd be lopped over to each side, smothering her pits. realistic juggs and no panties would have made this table base glorious, but no ...