Thursday, May 28, 2009

New Joysey.


You gotta listen to THIS.

"We had the best of the best....in the 90s..."

47 comments:

kris said...

looks like someone needs to let go and move on and hire a damn decorator to update that schlumpy pad.

Anonymous said...

wow- that place under the stairs looks really comfortable for reading- I bet she does that a lot.

Stu said...

What an embarrassment to us New Jersians! What a douche!

jess said...

Jay-sus! I think I vommed in my mouth a little.

Kristen said...

That's a lotta beige.

home before dark said...

Reminds me of the decorator's prayer, "May people with money get taste, and people with taste get money."

Anonymous said...

gag me with a spoon - the best of the 80's!

Musette said...

Wow.

that's a whole lotta lotta!

Shea McGee said...

"We have a bed with built-ins in the middle of the room. It's so dreamy."

Anonymous said...

Clearly this isn't New Jersey hunt country.

Decorina said...

Nightmare inducing sea of beige overconsumption.

Anonymous said...

oh wow. please don't think everyone in jersey lives this way...yikes. mortified.

mlessirard said...

Over scaled tacky home of a narcissistic woman (kisses on the wall). I feel sad after watching the video.

Anonymous said...

This is the most restrained of the RHNJ houses, and the least pretentious (no "French Chateau" theme, a la Teresa, no "French Country" decor, a la Dina).

The architecture is the problem here, not the decor.

www.BetterHomeNoGarden.com said...

I can't take these tacky *itches.

ita darling. said...

WHOA NELLY! She is a tacky ho-bag. seriously. This is what she is fighting with her not-yet-ex-husband for a huge settlement in order to maintain? She should consider starting from scratch. This is beyond yuck. (BTW This totally makes up for opening the depressing can of economy worms yesterday!)I hope they reveal her to be a former prostitute/
stripper/con artist in upcoming episodes!

Anonymous said...

I dig that she loves her house, without apology.

Anonymous said...

ita darling, let's not turn down our noses at sex workers. one of my favorite profs from college was a sex worker in her teens out of necessity, and she turned out to be a wonderful, intelligent, fabulous woman with AWESOME decor. sex workers deserve a little more respect than this woman does.

SGM said...

EEEEK! I have never seen a bed floating in the middle of the room like that?! And since when was mf-ing OAK the best of the best?

Anonymous said...

Ugh, it's all rather bland and boring, but her bedroom just plain ugly. She calls it dreamy, it's more of a nightmare imo. What's up with that bed? Not to mention, if you are going to have your house photographed for all the world to see... wouldn't you make an effort to hide the Yankee Candle, and the Banana Boat Aloe Gel? Yet another example that money certainly doesn't buy taste.

Anonymous said...

trailer trash. cheap.

Sacheverelle said...

OH MAN! Yup, I am born & bred NJ for 38 years & I'm here to tell ya: tacky houses & bitches like that all over the place, especially the closer you get to NYC. Short Hills & Alpine are especially heinous. I try to avoid these fucktards as much as possible.

decoratrix said...

Are there no architects in Jersey? Where did they get the idea for this Flintstone/Munster fauxteau?

mary said...

I second all of the previous comments. This woman has absolutely no depth, insight and worst of all no taste! I wanted to get in the shower after listening to her.

Anonymous said...

If this is Danielle's house, she is a former sex worker, stripper, coke whore and felon for a the kidnapping and torture of a 27 year old man. It's all over D listed, etc. So when you look at it from that perspective she's moved on up from gyrating under a disco ball of having 3 hospital green walls to accent the bars.

This is exactly what I pictured the NJ homes looking like!

Anonymous said...

You're not a felon unless you're convicted of a felony.

Anonymous said...

http://www.absurdtosublime.net/?p=78

Link to Danielle's mugshot

Anonymous said...

Arrested. Not convicted.

Anonymous said...

I live in Northern NJ, my husband works in the city. I find the opposite to be true from one previous commenter. The closer you live to nyc the more transplants there are and you hear very little accent..uber nice neighborhoods (lots of historic homes, no room for new construction). The further you drive out, esp. central and south jersey (except for Princeton which is lovely) you will hear a stronger accent and see this sterotype. These ladies live in Franklin Lakes, new construction and not really a nyc commuter town. The commuter towns have a whole different feel, in a good way.

The Countess of Nassau County said...

Decoratrix - Heartfelt thanks for bringing the phrase "fauxteau" to my attention. I will use it with glee.

Iheartfashion said...

Yikes!
Horrifying in so many ways.

Anonymous said...

Decorating that foyer is enough of a crime to me! I love the huge chandelier - it reminds me of the "Chauteau Deville" lobby in glamorous Saugus Massachusetts where I had my prom in '83.

Along with Vikki's "Olive-Garden-on-the-Green" monstrosity in OC - including a suit of armor. Are there any rules on when a suit of armor is appropriate? For instance, should you only display one in your home if one of your ancestors actually wore it in battle?

I love it when you post on the housewives - their homes are as heideous yet fascinating as their marriages and wardrobes.

The Countess of Nassau County said...

...and what the hell is that bed-as-command-station all about? Is that wood?

Diva Style said...

Eek. Her decor is tres tacky, LOL.

S. said...

Countess -- she's a sex trekkie. it's like spock's chair.

Whitney Gray said...

i am enamored. http://enamored-alifeofindulgence.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

That crusty lipstick wall makes me want to die.

Anonymous said...

I enjoy all the commenters who feel they are adding something helpful by posting "This is tacky!"

Anonymous said...

Hey they had a suit of armor in Homegoods the other day for $99. I always wondered where people got them from.

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of Kimora Lee Simmon's house with the oh-so-classy gold toilet. That was in Bergen Cty too. I absolutely do not agree that the closer to New York City the more elegant the houses are. Bergen County is all new money people with very big, very ostentatious new houses. The elegant old estates are found in Harding, Basking Ridge, Far Hills..places where they still have fox hunting on horseback.

Sacheverelle said...

Having once been a coke whore- stripper still does not excuse that decor.

Cindy@DecodingDecor.com said...

I'm frequently swimming around the net looking for fellow design bloggers to make friends with and hopefully find inspiration from. There are several great things about this blog, but the fact you take the snotty part out of home design with actually charming snarkiness takes talent...
You are going on my blogroll as a reminder for all taste mavens not to get too serious...best Cindy

Anonymous said...

I am nowhere a professional decorator, but yuuuuck!! I have done prettier rooms with thrift store finds. I could probably do five houses on the money she spent on herself and not a single productive activity in sight. Does she garden, sew, paint, anything???

Sacheverelle said...

So how would you change things up in this house? The house itself is actually pretty nice, it's just the decoration is weak. I like the two tables ok, really like the jardinaire, and the chandelier is ok.
First, I'd lose the builder beige color scheme & add some freaking contrast. Change all that golden oak to a much darker stain or paint it a bright color, maybe high gloss Chinese red? Just something that pops. Get rid of the tan stair runner & put down a good quality oriental or solid in the orange or red family, definitely just something more interesting & eyecatching. Finally, I'd lose that painfully symmetrical artwork on & around the stairs & put up a bunch more larger pieces hung gallery-style in non-oak frames or even frameless canvasas. Something less uber '50s traditional.
Now the bedroom. Oy...just lose everything in there-the busy floral wallpaper, that ghastly window treatment, the bleached wood furniture, the white ceiling fan and move the bed to the door wall where it belongs. I just don't like beds placed in the center of the room. That bedroom has so much potential.

s. said...

oh,sweetie... even in the 90s, none of this was the best of the best!

Grant K. Gibson said...

Have you seen the show?
It is strangely very addictive. Not as good as New York and Atlanta I would say!

Anonymous said...

Love how her big toes look like rheumatic thumbs. That's all.