Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I enjoy a good open letter...


And when it comes to writing anything, even a short comment, DAVID never fails:

"I guess that decency is what this entire letter is about. I damaged your car, and I tried to do what was decent and right. You, conversely, decided to be the biggest bitch you could possibly be. I can't think of anything you could have done to be more successful in that endeavor. Well done Madam.

I phoned my insurance company the moment I got back to my office, and they've assured me that you'll be made whole. To be honest, I told them that you were spectacularly mean and that I'd appreciate anything they could do to make the process more painful for you..."

26 comments:

rerun said...

oh, very well put indeed!

Mrs. Blandings said...

He's the best - one of my favorite reads.

Anonymous said...

I'd have sympathy, if he hadn't been driving a Land Rover--especially since he didn't have much experience in it.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with a Land Rover?

David said...

Thanks for the props E, I wondered why my sitemeter had spiked.

Anon 911: I drive an LR3 because apparently BMW doesn't attach their bumpers very well.

Lisa Borgnes Giramonti said...

This SO made my night! The world needs more people like him.

s. said...

Yay! The world needs more people like David; polite, correct, but willing to point out that lousy behaviour just isn't cool. What's wrong with people!?

Decorina said...

Yes David is wonderful. Anyone that can call you out firmly and thoroughly in the nicest possible way gets my vote.

RLG said...

I want to be David when I grow up.

Cristina said...

David, you're so much better than me. I'm usually one of those who would have been nice and an hour later agonized about all the things I should have said to her. But in this case, I may have made an exception.

Amy said...

Love it. I was just rear-ended Monday night, and before I got out of my car I told myself to calm down and act like an adult and not throw out all of the obscenities I originally had planned for the young lady who was busy talking on her cell phone as she plowed into my 3-month old car. (Just got rid of my first car ever that had much body damage and over 150K miles).

Kimberly Julie said...

great.

home before dark said...

Over 15 years ago, I was driving my 5-speed stick shift down my street. I stopped the stop sign and proceeded to turn right which is up a hill. (Not going very fast is the operative clue here.) I noticed that cars were parked illegally on the right side of the street. Two young boys ran in front of my car. I braked. What I hadn't seen was a little girl, their sister, who had followed them. So short, she didn't even come up tall enough for me to see her. The child is lying in the street. The father comes running out of the house. I recognize him as the former head of the Emergency Services in our town. He yelled at me, "Are you the one who hit by daughter?"

Call me callous, I wanted to scream at him why he hadn't be paying attention to his children. I heard my lawyer husband's voice, "Keep your fucking mouth shut!"

Before checking his daughter's breathing or pupils, he began to pray over her. (He had become an evangelical minister). The whole thing was surreal. Fortunately for me witnesses stopped and waited for the police to come so they could give their accounts that the accident was not my fault.

The little girl was not injured. The father explained that they were having a prayer meeting and had closed their eyes at just the moment the little girl ran in front of me. By the way, the visual site had been impaired by the praying evangelicals parking illegally.

My insurance company treated me like I was the one who caused the thing. I wanted to scream, "She ran into my car." Husband's voice goes off in my head again.

Yes, 15 years later I am still pissed off that a family overtly ignores the care of its children and turns the whole thing into a lesson from Job. Yes, I am glad the little girl was not hurt. But what if I had hurt her? How would I have ever gotten over that?

For years every time I passed that house I would see an imaginary yellow warning sign,"Beware unattended children crossing."

David was lucky it was a bitch driving a BMW. I say it's much more difficult to have an accident with God's Chosen Ones.

iona said...

HBD - My heart goes out to you. What a horrible experience. We should all recognize that praying with your eyes closed takes precedence over everything else including but not limited to keeping track of small children.
Garden Lust

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 9:11 you're sort of an ass.

Dianna said...

David is a lovely man. That Joyce woman will get what she deserves for her nastiness. And Land Rovers are the best! Get one!

Anonymous said...

home before dark -- aren't the chosen ones Jewish?

Preach it, David. You're my new favorite. Rude people need to be called out.

Anonymous said...

oh, and I totally heart your Land Rover.

Kwana said...

Ha love it. People can really suck.

leni said...

HaHaHa! Seriously, that's hilarious. I ended up reading the entire letter out loud to all my coworkers. We couldn't stop laughing! Thanks for sharing.

P.S. I have a personal rule about not dating people who drive BMWs. I don't know what it is about them, but the majority of them are total jerks. It's sad really, because I'm sure there are normal, nice people who drive BMWs, but those jerks ruined it for the others.

mosey said...

HA! amazing.

red ticking said...

elaine... leave it to you to bring it on... this was a REAL good one... love david! what an amazing read...

tulipfrills said...

Hey! I drive a BMW Z and I am not one of the yada yada yada's on the cell that drives at the same time. Not only that, I KNOW that David is really cool as bees knees because he has a minature schnauzer, just like me!

Anonymous said...

Home before dark.....i was hit by a car when I was 12. I was on a bike and it was my fault. The man that hit me in his giant white cadillac jumped out of his car and proceeded to scream at me. It doesn't matter if you are the victim or not. Some people just flip out.

Anonymous said...

Is everyone being ironic? Because if someone hit my innocent parked car and doomed me to three weeks of some lame rental, and the first words out of their mouth were, "Oh, my car's OK" and they were all "let's chill out" and off buying poop bags, I'd be surly with them.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I liked David until he called my husband an asshole.