Thursday, July 2, 2009

Schmutz.


The Times style section was rich today:



Benjamin Noriega-Ortiz, a prominent interior designer, and his partner, Steven Wine, a lighting designer, undress each time they enter their apartment on West 23rd Street, where almost everything is white. Then they put on “inside clothes” — usually shorts and T-shirts.

“You have no idea how much dirt you carry on your street clothes in New York,” said Mr. Noriega-Ortiz. When laying out the duplex apartment, he put the washer-dryer right by the front door.

He added, in an e-mail message: “Since we are not about to impose the remove-your-clothes-and-change rule on our guests, we tend to not entertain strangers that often. Our interior world stays much cleaner that way.”


Read about it HERE.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

douchebags

lk (Healthy Delicious) said...

only in NYC....

SparkerShop said...

C.R.A.Z.Y.

... and pretentious.

Kate F. said...

I actually thought of Decorno as I read the article, wondering what you would have to say about that! Is it really living if all you focus on is keeping your apartment white?

David said...

When they look back at the end of their lives they'll have the warm, fuzzy memories of how rarely they had to have their upholstery cleaned.

Anonymous said...

Pathetic. Obviously a couple who sweat the small stuff. Kind of the antithesis of gracious living.

liz said...

seriously?? what's the point of having a fabulous living space if you never have people over because they might track dirt into your house?

The Townhouselady said...

"only in NYC...."

IK, WTF kind of comment is that? Stereotype much?

Now to these "white" guys...
If you have to take off anything other than shoes when you enter your house is that really living? They're a psychotherapists dream!

Jessica said...

Those two are wackadoos. I can however sympathize with the woman designer and her cleaning bills, as a person who has to reconcile her love for white furniture and her equal love for her black cat. It's a hard knock life sometimes. I guess those fellas would have me toss my cat in the washer each time he came inside.

Paul Anater said...

Jesus! I'll bet they have a terrific sex life. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

What a couple of assholes.

Jeannine said...

They are perfect examples of the term "possessed by your possessions."

I understand being anal if you have scrimped and saved to have nice things in your home, but letting things dictate so much of your behavior is the most profound materialism I can imagine.

Nikki said...

Makes me wonder if they only have sex in the bathroom. Am I the only one to wonder?

Anonymous said...

Further proof that lesbians don't have a lock on bed death.

The fights must be hilarious.

Pesto dropped on the shag...

rebutted by capers rubbed into the linen curtains...

The final 'Who's afraid of Vagina Woolf' moment would be the shared shower wand dunked in a KFC meat bowl.

RobtW said...

Nutz.

Jirayu said...

lucky they found each other...

well.. i think it's boring to have to wear only house clothes when you are at home. i think variety of real clothes would compliment white space a lot more. i think it's more inspiring to the person who lives in that space more so than same old white tee and shorts all the time.

Capree said...

Freaks.

Things That Inspire said...

I read about this on another blog, and immediately thought about my sister. Whenever I visit her, I have to take my shoes off as soon as I enter the house, and she whisks away my purse and puts it who knows where so the 'dirty' bottom doesn't touch anything. At least I don't have to change into 'indoor clothes' when I enter her house!

s. said...

Have you watched the TV show called "Obsessed?" These two should be the next subjects.

mary said...

I think it's a good thing that they don't have children---I can just imagine the scene with a house full of little boys with all of those wonderful grimy hands.

jen said...

An ex-boyfriends mother was like this...she never let us walk around in shorts or barefoot and we had to wash our hands as soon as we came home. She was terrified that the oils from our skin would discolor her white carpet and ivory furnishings. She was a big reason we broke up. :) Who can live like that?

alis said...

Their reasoning is extreme, and not entertaining to keep the house clean only proves that they're obsessed, but still, don't you people change into something more comfortable when you get home anyway? Changing clothes isn't that weird.

Entering home with shoes is a whole other deal though, it's totally gross.

eM said...

Nutbar - with extra nougat

Lolo said...

And I thought I was cootie phobic. I wonder how they bring themselves to fuck.

Scratch that, I don't want to wonder at all.

MaryBeth said...

I can't even get people to take off their shoes. I'm not sure I would want to live this way but to each their own. Do you have to do your "business" in the entryway since it is so dirty?

Zelda said...

the good news is : we will never be invited .we are too damn organic to fit in

Anonymous said...

Someone should tell them about the oils on their feet and hands and they would have something else to worry about.
Then they would probably put a shower by the front door too.

RLG said...

LMAO. And I thought I was type-A.

Renate said...

Okay, so everyone has their own little quirks. And some are ehm... quirkier than others. But why share them with the entire world?

terre said...

shut the fuck up. now don't that beat all?

Iheartfashion said...

Total OCD.
I can't even stand when people make you take your shoes off in their house. Shoes are part of my outfit! I don't want to shuffle around in house slippers. Just suck it up and clean more often. I can't imagine caring more about keeping my possessions pristine than having friends and family over.

Back Garage said...

I love the person who said, "When they look back on their life..." What IS the point of having a nice home if you can never have anyone -- but a style photographer -- over as a guest? They've just embarrassed themselves in front of the world.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid, my friends' Mom was like this. There were three little girls in that family. We had to enter through the basement and take off our clothes. We wore only our slips if we were playing inside, and we certainly weren't allowed to play in the yard on the lawn. We couldn't sit on their beds EVER. We coud only peak out one pane of glass in one window. We had to wipe out the sink after we washed our hands. So that their pockets would always lay flat, those girls were never ever allowed to put their hands or anything else in their pockets. The neurosis went on and on. Needless to say, we didn't play there often.

home before dark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

These guys are sweeeeet! Whay would they want everyone to know this about them? And what 'strangers' are they talking about?! I do not really entertain strangers in my home either....pffffffttttttt!

parisienish said...

hahah. AHAHAHA.

Anonymous said...

This is definitely excessive, but a shoes-off policy isn't. Almost every cold-climate country -- except the U.S. -- takes off shoes as a matter of course. Leaving them on is considered a vulgar American thing to do.

And if you live in a city where people actually walk places, instead of just walking to and from their car in an indoor garage, it makes a lot of sense.

court. said...

paxil.

or prozac.

both are indicated for OCD.

angie said...

...and to talk about it as though it's a good thing. Yikes! Somebody get them some help!

MonkeyGrass said...

Yeah, I am going to have to go with both crazy and pretentious. Give me a break!

Anonymous said...

After reading the article I think I would be less worried about the dirt coming into my white apartment and more about the dirt and soot collecting in my lungs.

The price of beauty, even in decorating.

Jen said...

Mwahahahaha! I'd like to invite them onto some reality show, like "this is a grubby, grimy, hippy share house - get me out of here" and see how they coped. Poor pets. I wonder how they manage in the real world?
My fave comment is Zelda's - we'll never be invited!

mosey said...

woah! totally ridiculous and I thought taking my shoes off at the door was anal! ah ha ha!

Judy said...

As wacko as they are, I think it's sweet that they found each other. To anyone wondering whether they'll spend the rest of their life alone, this is the perfect example that you don't have to. No matter how deranged the pot, there is a squeaky clean lid waiting for you somewhere.

truestarr said...

The new improved version of "the people who cover their chairs and lamps in plastic"!

Jane K. Schott said...

Great Home Section this Week in the NYT. Thank God for Bill Cunningham!

Anonymous said...

I want to walk in their place with dog shit on my shoes.

Anonymous said...

But do they have sex with strange men in toliets...?

tami said...

That is just goofy. 'Hospitality' must not be in their vocabulary.
Yikes!

jen said...

I know I'm mixing metaphors, but that queen is the MAYOR of Crazy Town. Holy shit.

Samantha said...

What a warm, fuzzy household. What gracious, earthy people. I wonder if they'd lend me their apartment for that chili festival I've been wanting to have.

Tara.Fields said...

Huh. I rarely entertain because my house isn't tidy (and I don't cook).

Also, think of the filth on their hair! Oh, wait that doesn't seem to be a concern in this case from what I remember of the photo.

Newburgh Restoration said...

hmmmmm a touch of OCD?

Kwana said...

You can find the crazy D.

Little Lantern said...

Weirdos

wren said...

i bet they really wouldn't want me to show up with my two dogs because they can dirty a place up faster than anyone i know. seriously come on...

Anonymous said...

I don't even KNOW what to say. Crazy, man.

B said...

This makes baby jesus cry.

The Sale Rack said...

i've lived in nyc for almost nine years and all i want is my own washer and dryer. is that too much to ask?!?!

annechovie said...

and I thought my mom was fanatical...