Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I am voting today...

here in lovely King County Seattle, and I just adore reading the endorsements in our local weekly, The Stranger, like this one:

Position 9

Beverly Harison Tonda

Bev Tonda is a pink-sweatered ray of strawberry sunshine. Bev Tonda can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile. Every time Bev Tonda claps her hands, a fairy punches a rapist in the tit. Bev Tonda is a self-described "Democratic-leaning Republican" who lives in a log cabin she built with her own teeth on the banks of the Cedar River and occasionally says the craziest thing ever ("I was raised Christian, I'm converting to Judaism, and I hang out with Muslims!!!"). There was no chance the SECB wasn't going to endorse Bev Tonda—her opponents are Reagan Dunn, the shriveled weasel who fell out of Jennifer Dunn, and something called a Mark Greene—but we really fell in love with her after her hour-long endorsement meeting, when she e-mailed to let us know that she didn't fucking want our endorsement: "I do feel compelled to say that I was not looking for an endorsement from The Stranger when I came to interview on my lunch hour. The part-time unpaid intern billed the appointment as an interview." Vote for Bev Tonda. Vote the FUCKING SHIT out of her!

44 comments:

Tired and True said...

Darling Ms. Decorno --
Decor is my porn, as your masthead teases, so what in the world is your blog about again?
Seattle politicians?
Unsightly Anuses?
JCREW?
Adventures in Italy?
Toodleloo, Ms. Decorno, I am off to spend some quality time with Mrs. Blandings, who is not suffering from ADD.

Nikki said...

Ha! That is great. I remember watching people flip of Jennifer Dunn during parades. Seattle is so friendly. I'm guessing Tired and True is not from around here ;)

Decorno said...

Tired and True: guess what will go well with your inspiration board and your ottoman? A sense of humor.

Nikki - I totally missed the Jenn Dunn Flip Off Parade. I always miss the good stuff!

Anonymous said...

I just lost my 'more ways to waste time' blog and I was afeared that my last mammary of you would be a red asshole (arty as it may be) on the front page.

Seattle's politics are fresh compared to those of Chicago - our accent fucks up any great idea.

Anonymous said...

Tired and True:

Don't post. Just go.

Decorno said...

I was thinking of quitting with that red asshole, actually. I am going to close up shop on the ol' blog soon, but had to post the lovely Stranger endorsements.

mason said...

gawd I fucking love you.

decorno supporter till the bitter end said...

tired and true: you know what we say to folks like you? BUH-BY!

s. said...

"I am going to close up shop on the ol' blog soon"

Say it ain't so, 'no!

Tired and True said...

I'm sorry, but if I want to contemplate the whole "unsightly anus" problem, I'll use my Chinese-red lacquered hand mirror from Oly.

Paisley said...

Why are you going to close up shop?! Whyyyyyy?!

lk said...

omg, that is hysterical. as a political consultant, its not become my goal in life to land a candidate an endorsement like that.

lk (Healthy Delicious) said...

what, wait? close shop? NOOOOOOO

*pout*

where else will I go for my daily dose of brilliant snark and loveliness?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Decorno,

Don't go! I love your blog, and find your musings on all things (from decor to anal bleaching) to be some of the funniest shit ever.

Anonymous said...

Keep blogging. Just turn the commenting thing off altogether.

slag said...

No closing! No closing!

Up Mama's Wall said...

I know, I know, the blogging monkey on your back. But don't be rash!. Where would we go for a sense of humor with our mood boards and Moroccan poufs? Please don't go. Really. Don't.

Tired and True said...

Amazing Ms. Decorno --
Firstly, the comment above, about the red-laquered mirror form Oly, is an imposter.
As a writer, I think you are genius, and your blog is a must-visit for me. If you were the editor of Domino, it would probably still be in business (and certainly you would have made Nick Olsen your creative director!)
So I would be sad to see you go, but I also feel you are jumping the shark here a bit, so maybe it is time for you to retire Decorno, as you keep threatening. Perhaps with a different blog for your current diversity of interests.
But if you are serious about retiring this blog, let me sincerely thank you for your keen eye, and this brilliant, sophisticated, very funny, and at times a-bit-too-bawdy labor of love. I have precious little time to peruse the internet, and even less to post comments, but you have mostly been worth every single minute. If I were to create my "ultimate dinner party" guest list, you would certainly be there. And again, thank you for sharing so much of your passion for decor. If you do continue, wonderful! - but please, show a settee, a faucet, a swatch, a light-switch plate, something that affirms that decor is still your porn!

Anonymous said...

"...please, show a settee, a faucet, a swatch, a light-switch plate"

Really?

You REALLY can't find that anywhere else?

Saying you come to Decorno to read about fabrics is like saying you read The New Yorker to find movie show times.

R said...

Go if you must.
Perhaps I can instead fill the ugly void in my life with alcohol and drugs or something...

Anonymous said...

Dear Tired and True,

Who died and made you the blog police?

Fuck off.

xoxoxoxo

me

niccole said...

tired and true: here's the thing you know, decorno writes this blog for FREE, this is not a magazine, not an hgtv show, nothing more than decorno writing about...gasp..whatever the f*ck she wants on her own blog! seriously, are there not enough blogs out there discussing skirted tables, light switch plates, and fabrics swatches? no? i find that hard to believe. i, and i think most, follow decorno because she has a great point of view - not just about gorgeous rooms but about life in general. if it doesn't work for you then knock yourself out with mrs. blandings...i just gagged while typing that.

that people have the nerve to say 'oh, you should retire' when the content is no longer interesting to you, seriously...how rude are you?

decorno fan said...

hhhmmm, tired and true? i have a feeling that if you had a dinner party, the lovely and talented decorno would not be available attend. just sayin'....you are sounding like an asshole.

first she has ADD, and then you call her 'Amazing'...so, which is it?

Anonymous said...

Tired and True is a conservative Republican. It's as simple as that. I remember her "Hooray for the police!" comments on the Henry Gates post, among other typical conservative party-line stuff she's spouted in the past.

When you see commenters say: "Decorno, stick with decor," 99 times out of 100 they are really disagreeing with her politics.

peasandcarrots said...

I absolutely agree, Anon 5:28PM.

Tired and True, you've got the tired part right - we're all tired of you. Go on, shoo.

Decorno, please, keep the dream alive!

Tommy said...

I can't stand it--in more ways than one. First, reading this post almost made me fall off the chair with laughter. And then reading the ridiculous comments evoked a tinge of anger. But finding out that you want to shut 'er down?! Please don't.

Julia said...

I vote that you stay!

I will be very sad if you go.

I was looking forward to hearing more about your trip.

Anonymous said...

I'm with R.

Not sure what to say to Tired and True. Would probably have had fun taking the piss out of you at at a cocktail party, but my advancing age (40's) and the recession seem to be taking the piss out of fun cocktail parties.

Don't know what you've got til it's gone.
(Credit: Joni. M. Canadian single mother.)

Love you Decorno.
It's been swell.
You've made me laugh, almost every day.

x jen from toronto

Anonymous said...

"If I were to create my 'ultimate dinner party' guest list, you would certainly be there."

But you'd only let her talk about fabric and switch plates.

Fun times at Chez Tired!

Revival Home and Garden said...

Reading your comments is consistently more fun than reading almost anything else....except, apparently, the Stranger's endorsements!

XO

s. said...

Actually if we're guessing political affiliations...
Out of touch with reality? Check.
Pompous? Check.
Sense of indigent self-righteousness? Check.
Yup, I'd bet my switchplates. All signs point to the fact that Tired and True is a liberal Democrat.

Anonymous said...

The great thing about blogs is that we are interested in the subject matter and the pretty pictures etc...but when you find a blogger who can captivate you, surprise you, and make your day a little happier, it is priceless! What short time I have been visiting this blog I actually look forward to the surprising posts. The comments are the icing on the cake...Decorno, thank you for what you do, YOU FUCKING ROCK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"Indigent"? That's funny.

Anonymous said...

s:

Focus.

Anonymous said...

girl, seriously, do not fuck with me like that! DON'T GO. take a break, chill, whatev, but DON'T GO. i savor this after i've waded through the shit storm that is my in box, full of clients and landlords who have no common sense and couldn't find their ass with both hands. for the love of god, i'm in REAL ESTATE. i need this like i need my nightly glass of wine...or three.

Anonymous said...

Just leave the comment moderation on, to screen out all the lint from Tried and True, s., etc.

GL said...

Nasty anons read this. Decorno I wish you the very best whatever you decide. It has been or hopefully still is a great ride.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/08/19/urnidgns852573C40069388000257617007ACE7B.DTL&tsp=1#ixzz0OjozMAR2

Anonymous said...

Ah, so "Garden Lust" is your real name.

Christina said...

You'd be missed if you go!

And geez, all the comments and the hating going on are good fun...Tried and True, are you regretting your attempt at backpedalling?

Hahahahaha! Thanks for the laughs, all!

Iheartfashion said...

No, Decorno, please don't go!
I can read about fabrics and switchplates in a million other places. Keep up the ADD posts!

SH said...

Please don't stop You are absolutely brilliant!!!!

Anonymous said...

I agree with SH --you rule, Decorno. Write about whatever the hell you want & I will read it. Xo, SL

esther said...

Decorno, you're a blogger with a heart... and a sense of humor at that. Write to your heart's desire. Screw that Scrooge of a blog reader. Someone needs to have the Ghost of the Decorno Past, Present, and Future pay him a visit to remind him of the Decorno spirit, Marni shoes and all...!

Anonymous said...

Decorno I am soooo relieved when I read your blog - I, like a million others love decor/design but I feel like slitting my wrists after reading the girly, girly girl design club blogs.
Please please stay you are are genius