Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Goodbye tree.



Thanks for breaking our sewer pipe and dumping little swimmers in our basement. Thanks for dropping a branch on our car last year. The time has come for you to go. (Ugly bushes... you're on notice, too.)

34 comments:

The Countess of Nassau County said...

Nature is just SUCH a bummer. Oh please put in a delightful water feature, or better yet just blacktop the whole front yard?

I know, how very bitchy of me. If your tree is sick then it's a danger and you've got to do what you've got to do. But it seems like every time I turn around, someone is cutting down a beautiful tree so they can park another giant car in their driveway or plant a row of hostas (GAG). It's bullshit and it's all too typical. Boo.

Please plant another tree in its place.

Decorno said...

Irritating.

An Aesthete's Lament said...

That thing is scary big.

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

I get tired of people telling property owners what they can and can't do with their own trees. In some communities it is in danger of becoming municipal law that you need the council's permission to chop down your own tree. I am a gardner, nature lover and am crazy about trees. Yes, I'v seen neighbours chop down beautiful big trees to accommodate their own particular landscaping vision, but it is their right. Some trees are not suited to their location. I look forward to seeing what you do with your front yard. Your house looks fantastic.

MoreSkinnyDays said...

What can you do if it's breaking your pipes? In college I rented a room for the summer where the home owner didn't allow flushing of bathroom tissue due to roots. Instead she collected the waste paper basket full of poo paper daily. I think removing a tree is less bad than sentencing your family and guests to a life of poo paper in waste baskets.

Anita Davis said...

that tree was a menace.
you could keep a log and make a side table with it - for remembrance. ;)

Lisa said...

It's unfortunate that people plant trees too close to homes and/or on property lines without considering the ultimate size of the tree. An innocent home owner generations down the line ends up paying for their mistake. You will love this Seattle based group PlantAmnesty, who declares that "A tree in the wrong place is a weed." Check out their solutions for big trees and pruning information. I've been known to slip pages of this website into mailboxes of offenders. http://www.plantamnesty.org/home/index.aspx

Holly said...

Not a very sexy Christmas present, is it? Oh, well. At least you won't have to deal with poop in your basement anymore.

Anonymous said...

i have a nasty, very mature plum tree. its hard to believe - but the fruit tastes terrible, its overgrown and everything anywhere near it dies. Its a big gooey mess. I totally feel your pain. I'm chopping mine down in spring.

tulipfrills said...

I bet that the former home owner planted that tree never realizing what it would look like when mature. That tree was seriously overgrown. One of the mistakes that we homeowners make when choosing plants on our own, is choosing plants without knowing the height and width of a mature plant. I have had to remove some huge trees that were diseased and causing structural damage...I was shocked at the amount of light I now receive, but I also felt that there was a huge empty spot so I am careful to replant (especially near the house)using trees that top out at around 20 ft. I have fallen in love with flowering, fragrant trees and they add a lot of seasonal interest. I had a lot of fun discovering shrubs and trees that are in the 15-20 ft. range If you enjoy gardening, a pruning class could be fun so that you can keep any new trees from acquiring that top heavy, overgrown, branchy look that is shown in your photo...Good Luck and please let us know what you choose for landscaping! That is something that I am wrestling with now!

Decorina said...

You go Decs.

I had a big pine tree removed that was planted directly on top of my incoming water line and outgoing sewer line.

The neighbor who was having a cow over the departing tree was invited to pay my plumbing bills as it was slowly popping the water meter up and out of the ground.

She declined, but never wanted to talk to me again, thankfully.

The tree was over 50 years old and was far to big to be planted in that location and I paid the bill (big bill) for a previous owner's lack of foresight. Just as you are doing. I say screw those judgemental fools - and their own DIY landscaping projects. May the roots be with them.

jen said...

The Countess of Nassau is bitchy!! She would hate to know that we have cut down at least 3 dozen trees on our lot. A few of them to make room for our giant RV parking space. My land/my house = my decision what to chop down and what to leave.
That tree was way too huge. My husband would have been out there with a chain saw the first time it dropped a branch on our car. :) Glad you won't have to worry about it in 2010!

Decorno said...

Jen, I can't believe you confessed to killing trees to make room for your giant RV. You know the Countess is going to kick your ass for that. :)

sketch42 said...

The tree was beautiful... but what can you do? Nothing. Chop it!!!

20 years ago when my mom built her house in brooklyn, the landscaper put 6 cherry blossom trees in her tiny front lawn. Its gorgeous, but 20 years later = 20 thousand dollars in pipe damage and a basement full of shit.

She still has the trees though, and insurance!

pegr said...

Sometimes trees can be a real pain in the ass. Especially when they deprive you of glorious sunlight. I have asked my neighbors to please
trim their trees over the last few years. I finally bought a pole pruner. Fuckers.

Emily said...

On the other side of the judgement fence, my mother-in-law is always asking when we're planning on cutting down the trees in our driveway, like they're worse than the ugly brown carpeting the previous owners left in the bedroom and should clearly take priority, despite the fact that they keep our cars shaded in the summer. It makes me fume a little.

mary said...

It's sad to loose a tree: but that one was not a winner.
Just use the tree as firewood and mulch and it will still be serving a purpose. (Is having a fire (in a fireplace) still politically correct? And if it's not--so what.

David said...

You will get no smack from me, I'm a tree killer too. I like trees fine, when I place them. If it's overgrown or it's a volunteer nobody ever dealt with properly, it's gone.

Brett has seen the light on the 50 year old magnolia in the front yard. (yes, lovely white blooms, cry me a river) Now if I can get him to fear the monster oak in the back yard like I do.

An Aesthete's Lament said...

Long ago I lived in a tiny 18th-century farmhouse. Like so many buildings of that vintage, it had been constructed close to the road, but somewhere in history a former owner had the bright idea to plant a line of cedars to shield the house and give it privacy. And then to plant a hedge of privet beneath the cedars to mask their trunks. Upshot? When my former husband and I bought the one-and-a-half-story house, the cedar trees were close to two-and-a-half-stories high and utterly dwarfed the building—it had been midgetized (is that a word?). The front of the house was always in gloomy shadow. The hedge was enormous and half dead. So one day, when my husband was at work, I got sick of dark rooms and mossy siding and called a handyman, who brought and assistant and a couple of chainsaws and cut down the arboreal offenses. My husband arrived home, saw the denuding, and was furious. The front yard's emptiness was pretty extreme, I'll admit. But he calmed down when I planted a couple of very pretty apple trees instead.

cosijoopii said...

I think,a lot of you people,dont know that there are ways to take some roots of the tree wich are causing the damage,without killing the tree.Havnt you heard of something called........ global warming? read please and then kill a tree again if you dare.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the Countess. You should have dug up all the pipes and moved them, rotating the house to accommodate the plumbing's new location.

Monica Kelly said...

We bought our house in 2004. It is on 1/4 acre and had 3 trees total. No beds...grass as far as the eye could see.

I started researching landscaping options and came up with the same lovely options as tulip frils describes.

One of the species we chose was Fat Albert Blue Spruce, which top out at 30' and 20 - 30'wide. It was very hard to find and one landscape/designer of a large nursery tried to talk me into a Colorado Blue Spruce instead--as they look similar. I explained to him that the Colorado Blue Spruce would top out at 80-100 feet. Dude says, "Not in your lifetime." I kid you not.

Needless to say we found a different nursery to work with.

gayhooker said...

That's some serious wood

Anonymous said...

"My husband arrived home, saw the denuding, and was furious."

I swear I read this sentence in a Danielle Steele novel.

Sarah said...

We had to do the same thing this past summer. Ours wasn't quite that big, but the limbs near the top were dead and threatening to drop on our roof. We got estimates from 2 people who said the tree couldn't be saved. We're planting a much smaller (like 25-ft at full maturity) tree in its place.

Decorno said...

Cosiijoopii, what is this "warming" you speak of?

Anonymous said...

You have to do what you have to do. When we remodeled our house we took out a diseased and dying tree in the easement that was ripping up our sidewalk. And I dreamed of lopping down the nasty pecan tree that hung over our neighbor's fence and dropped pecan shit and sap all over our driveway and cars. Not every tree is a treasure. You can plant another one if it really is that important to you. Some cities even have programs that will give you a tree for free to plant in your yard if you want one. If Houston has that program I'm sure there is one in your granola, tree-hugging neck of the woods.

Anonymous said...

good grief, you live in the pacific northwest--trees are like weeds there.

Jackie and Roseanne said...

Sounds like the tree had it coming. Sweet revenge.

Cote de Texas said...

In West University where I live, you would have had to plant another tree, huge, they calculate it in inches, to replace the one you took down. we cut down 3 trash trees and had to replace with a certain amount of inches worth of trees to replace them - so we planted a large oak to make up for the 3 trash trees. you're lucky you don't have to do that where you live. Our town has a person who sole job is tree management - oh and the town's logo is "the city of trees"

Lolo said...

I demand that every time we get to cut down a tree that has outlived its intended purpose, a replacement tree gets planted in one of the many parking lots of the local strip malls.

Susan said...

I totally understand your need to do this.

Anonymous said...

I hear this tree debate all the time as I too live in the North West. My take on it is this: A tree is just a plant - nothing more. Every tree has a life span - it is gonna die sooner or later anyway. I personally don't see the crisis in removing a tree. A tree certainly has less value than a home. It would never make sense to preserve a tree that was destructive to a home.
Colleen

Ouno Design said...

Lolo,
I second that.
Lindsay