You gotta listen to THIS.
"We had the best of the best....in the 90s..."
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
OMG, can you believe I got this email today? I love it. Put your bossy Advice Caps on, kids.
I've been a fan of your blog for over a year now... Although I Iove your decorating/design posts, I look forward to the candidness of your relationship/sex posts. Now I find myself in a situation where I'd love to get both you and your readers advice about my relationship. I'll try to keep it to the point.
My husband and I have been married ten years. Trouble is, he's not a very good lover. He's tries very hard -- has bought books, etc, but just gets very nervous and will loose his erection. He's been to therapy and hypnosis, tried drugs and potions and although it's helped a little bit, things are always fragile in this area. Over the years I've been very supportive and have basically given up on having sex with him. I just take what I can get...:(
A few months ago, I don't really know when it happened but my libido has just gone crazy. I think about sex constantly and it seems that no amount of sex with him (it's not much) or with myself seems to satisfy the desire. I tried to just deal with it but I feel like I'm too young to just dry up (I'm 36). Then one night we were talking about things and came to the conclusion that maybe we both should explore the idea of having sex with other people. I told him that maybe if he's with another women he may not feel so much pressure to perform (I can be a bit aggressive). And while I've never ever been the type of person who would have ever thought I'd be open to the idea of an open marriage, I'm desperate. I haven't had a mind blowing orgasm in years! I love my husband tremendously and I know I want to grow old with him but I'm not really sure what else to do. He said he's okay with me being with other men too as long as I come back to him.
Is he the world's most amazing husband or am I the world's worst wife?
Help! Should I have a fling and get it out of my system?? Will I regret it forever?
Dear K -
He's giving you permission to sleep around. Go for it. People aren't really meant for monogamy and it's what leads to bed death . Seriously, give it a few weeks, have another talk, and if he's cool with it, go for it. You won't regret it forever if you know he's really, truly, consistently over many weeks, giving you persmission to get your rocks off AS LONG as he's not agreeing to it in some weird, sad desperation move to keep you. He should get to hump other legs, too, otherwise you're going to have this weird my-husband-is-practically-a-eunuch power imbalance in your relationship and it will make him as unsexy as a stay-at-home dad. (JJ and Edie, YOU bitches get to defend that one, not me.)
But the question I am not clear on is, what's the real problem here? Sleeping with other dudes will be super fun, but you will likely find the inconvenience of meeting new, safe, non-gross fuckable people will grow as tiresome as it did when you were still single and you will be stuck with Mr. Bad Lay. Mr. Bad Lay needs to get GOOD at this shit. Maybe he's gay. I mean, what do I know. It's possible. I just find it incredibly, totally, utterly weird that a straight dude has so many sexual problems. If you have ruled out all medical, past emotional/abusive kind of issues, and if you have ruled out with totally certainty that he's actually gay, then, gosh, I don't know. Ask him what he would prefer: do you want to get better at sex, or are you tired of trying to fix that and you truly want me to get my loving elsewhere? And when he answers, you need to decide if either of those is what you really, truly want.
Readers? Fuck the economy, let's talk about lovin'.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I am buying stocks again, pushing more chips toward the dealer. Like many, I have recession fatigue and I am itching to spend again (cushion-cut citrine ring, I have been a really, really good girl... don't you think I deserve you?).
I think the recovery will be slow still, but I feel like the boot is off our necks now.
Anyone else feeling it, too?
Photo from HERE.
Monday, May 25, 2009
I can feel a book binge coming on, and here are a few I am considering.
Creative Space: The Urban Homes of Artists and Creatives
Glamour: Making it Modern
Easy Elegance: Creating a Relaxed, Comfortable and Stylish Home
The Way We Live With the Things We Love
Taschen's New York
New London Style
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
2 hours from Seattle on lovely Hood Canal and a mere $550 a month mortgage payment. 10 buckets of white paint, a few squishy couches, build a proper deck along the view side of the house, add some nice light fixtures inside, stain the floors dark or paint them white, tame the landscape, buy kayak, invite friends over. Voila. Instant vacation house.
Labels: vacation homes and cabins
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Update to THIS post.
Guess what? I like the book. The NY Times made them out to be kinda douche-y, but so far so good.
Yes, they had some money somewhere (he was a party promoter, worked on Wall Street, and they did have 500 people at their wedding, after all... ), but they are also gamblers and made a lot of big risks and they fess-up to being nearly bankrupt a few times during these projects. So, you know, they had their worries. In the book, you read about the good and the bad of their renovations. She details (and has photos of) new hardwood floors that flooded a week after they moved into one of their renovated homes. A distaster. They ended up leaving them as-is since they bowed and seemed to age the house. People who can live with imperfection = good.
Each chapter focuses tackles each house, and each chapter begins with a quick list of all the improvements they made to that property. If you are buying a wreck or planning to remodel, it's kind of confidence-boosting to see what they lived through.
I know there were many cynics, but honestly, this book is pretty inspiring. I want to start getting shit done on my house now.
Buy it HERE.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Yowza. Seven. Really? Why? That's the first topic. That is a real question. How fucking exhausting (and god bless her,because Mom looks amazing, huh?).
And this is the second topic, from the New York Times:
A book deal would seem to be inevitable, and in fact, Downtown Chic: Designing Your Dream Home: From Wreck to Ravishing, a kind of decorating-and-renovating memoir in pictures, is out this month from Rizzoli. The reality series based on their adventures is just the logical next step. And in an effort to further shape and develop their brand, Mr. Novogratz said, the entire family has been signed with the Ford modeling agency, which imagines partnerships with towel companies, perfume and candle makers and even Tiffany or Coca-Cola, said Craig Lawrence, a vice president for strategic partnerships at Ford.
Thoughts on that?
And speaking of their book, here you go:
You can get the book HERE, if you'd like.
And if you want to read about the couple, their kids (one named Five and another named Tellulah) and how they have collected important art and how it's displayed in their homes around the world, knock yourself out.
Bring a flask and take a drink every time you see a foo dog or pierced porcelain.
From the mail bag this morning (and more about it HERE):
Thursday, May 7, 2009 ( New York ) – Who isn’t feeling the pinch? In the spirit of spring cleaning, de-cluttering, sprucing up, and getting together again…Dara Caponigro, Tom Delavan, Sara Ruffin Costello, Rita Konig, Tori Mellot, Eugenia Santestiban, and even Deborah Needleman--top style editors from the sorely-missed domino magazine, have invited an eclectic ensemble cast of decorators, design industry insiders, and just plain fabulous friends, to join them in peddling their topnotch treasures at their first-ever Tastemaker's Tag Sale on Saturday, May 9th. (Skilled shoppers may even be able to haggle some free-with-purchase decorating advice!). Everything is under $500 (and most things are under $10).
The recession may be in full swing but with everything priced to sell, attendees can indulge in guilt-free spending. The Sale will feature antique furniture, beautiful fabrics, vintage and designers fashions and some gently used gems.
Savvy shoppers should show up at Tom Delavan’s 19th Century brownstone at 13 West 9th Street (bet. 5th & 6th Avenues) on Saturday, May 9th from 10:00am to 6:00pm for bargain-basement prices. Because the event is “first come, first serve,” it’s best to arrive early. And The Sale accepts cash only.
A sneak peek at the refined offerings:
· Verner Panton chairs,
· a stool from Holly Hunt,
· a table from Mecox Gardens ,
· a shagreen box from Agousti,
· textiles from John Derian,
· Visual Comfort lamp,
· a Thai teak chair,
· Rogers and Goffigan fabric,
· Oscar de la Renta dresses,
· Manolo Blahnik shoes and much more
Ex-domino mag editors’ Tastemaker’s Tag Sale with furniture, fabric, decorative objects, fashion, etc.
Saturday, May 9th from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm* (*or while merchandise lasts)
13 West Ninth Street (bet. 5th & 6th Avenues), garden apartment
Cash ONLY (haggling accepted on some items)
For large items, truck delivery will be available on Sunday, May 10th to New York City and surrounding boroughs for $25 to $100 depending upon the size.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
"I'm hiding all my cash in my giant sleeves..."
So here's another question for everyone. The talk of layoffs and financial woe won't let up, but what about people who have been completely untouched by this? They must be out there.
Is anyone actually doing better now than 6 months or a year ago? If so, what do you do? And how are you (or are you not) spending your money these days? And do you feel any kind of survivors guilt? Has anyone actually received a raise in the last few months?
If you are mostly untouched by this downturn, I am particularly interested in hearing where you live... literally what zip code, and if your neighbors are more or less faring the same.
Spill the beans.