Wednesday, January 27, 2010

In search of a less bleak playground, the toddler pedaled faster.


HERE.

Dwell gets a much-deserved spanking.

(Thanks E for sending.)

58 comments:

rebecca said...

Ha!

I also like the last one on the second page.

Anonymous said...

This is fabulous, I love this, thank you

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this, now I have a second favorite blog.

Brigitte said...

Brilliant!

AppleTree said...

That was fucking awesome. I thought I was the only one who thought that mag was bleak as hell.

Richie Designs said...

awesome.

Liv said...

This is hilarious, thanks for posting this. Great blog!

sarah said...

that's brilliant-

boops said...

thanks for the post-rush hour wry humour!

Emily said...

I'm still waiting for a comment on the totally lame (again) NYT Habitats feature. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/realestate/24habi.html?ref=garden

Ugh.

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

Definitely going to make the child mentally impaired.

Anonymous said...

So funny. I like page two.

EE said...

I vote for "Ever the realist, he built his table for one."

Paige said...

these are hysterical. i don't know why in my head i hear them in an alec baldwin voiceover - a la The Royal Tenenbaums.

David said...

The one issue of Dwell I bought was what made me realize that standing alone, modernism is often kind of a drag.

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

Good point, indeed.

Kelly

Gypmar said...

Bwah ha ha. Love it.

Anonymous said...

Decorno, we can always count on you. Thanks for comin' thru with this one.

Jules said...

My favorite is on the second page:

Ever the realist, he built his table for one.

Suzy / Sparker Shop said...

So, so good.

Anonymous said...

HAAA! That rocks. My favorite is: "ever the realist, he built his table for one." Brilliant.

Anonymous said...

I always admire the houses in Dwell but never want to actually live in them.

Sharon said...

good one

mary said...

Love it. I would shrivel up and die in rooms like those shown.

magnaverde said...

I don't know who this guy is but this is the funniest thing I've seen in a month. The crew over at Dwell should hire him to write their captions, so they look like intentional providers of humor, instead of its inadvertant subjects.

Elizabeth said...

Ha! I almost forwarded this to you earlier- surely the author is your long-lost sibling?

RobtW said...

Ah, the price of theory valued over beauty.

akimbo said...

Saw it the other day....love it.

Elizabeth said...

Laugh out loud funny! Oh, now wait, does LOL mean laugh out loud? How about wet my pants funny?

tiffany said...

um, this might be my new favorite website! crazy funny.

HOBAC said...

The best one - "He is sad because his house looks like an elementary school. And all the children have died."

ruthanne 17 said...

absolutely hysterical!

Anonymous said...

Enter Joni Webb to gives us her commentary on all that negative space. Before it's done, we will have suzani hanging from those bare walls, zebra rugs and slipcovers on the sterile chairs (the few that exist) She may even redo that kitchen to look like Sally Wheats and hey if we just change up the pillows occasionally, we've got a new look.

Anonymous said...

I subscribed to Dwell because I got it free, and (for a short while) I believed reading Dwell was "good for me"--akin to eating my vegetables or exercising.

DesignAddict said...

Oh my goodness, that was funny. It captured all of Dwell's pretentious, holier than thou, aren't we cool modernism. While I like some of the interiors once in a while and appreciate the emphasis on sustainable design, (although the plywood everything room makes me want to run from the magazine in a silent scream), there have profiled prescious few people that I would actually want to hang out with, unlike some magazines. The people are stylish, (I guess), but just don't seem like that much fun. Dwell is missing the fun of design, the humor and the irony. That is a real shame, acutally, because it gives people the impression that modernism can't be a design choice for people who have a sense of humor and of comfort and have tables next to chairs so you can put your drink down....and don't get me started on what that man did to that lovely-boned apartment in Paris in the February(?) issue. That was just not right.

Halcyon House said...

I can just hear his anal-retentive parents now...

"Now Maximillan, you remember the rule, only one toy at a time."

...and the look on his face...
"Someone...help me...now."

That's a funny blog, will have to add it to my roll.

Anonymous said...

"Lying on his back, watching the passing clouds, he worried over the Nathaniel Hawthorne lookalike’s role in this grim threesome." TOO FUNNY

style-for-style said...

"the ironic octopus was full of judgment"
ha

a new favorite site, thanks!

Kristin said...

I can't decide between the plywood coffin and Nathaniel Hawthorne. So damn funny!

atlanticart said...

I love the couple sitting over the plate of eggs. It's like a modern "American Gothic." But the table for one is priceless.

Anonymous said...

totally awesome and hilarious.

MoreSkinnyDays said...

Hilarious! Sent this to my hipster coworkers. Dwell ... in misery. "Bleak." That is so true.

Mommy E said...

I hope this blogger sends you a thank you note.

xo

E

Tara said...

Valentines Day 2010: "Even in your company, I feel so alone."

Gold.

opera glass said...

That's hilarious. I love the Nathanial Hawthorne one.

my favorite and my best said...

so effing awesome. i love when people are smart.

Anonymous said...

"Mommy E"!!! It's the magnificent Elaine!

DesignAddict said...

Not gonna lie. I liked the September 2009 apartment featured on the website (the one w/the shag carpet and r&b sofas caption). I thought that apt. had efficiency, style and a certain warmth. The dog was cute too. I could see myself living there with minor tweaks, unlike many of their spaces (like the sheet metal house featured recently.) *Shudder*

callenwo said...

I have to say, the couple with the eggs ties with the home looking like elementary school with all dead children one for me. But then there's the octopus-- how to choose?

Really, the funniest thing I have seen in a while. And I subscribe to Dwell even...

Quatorze said...

An absolute riot; post modern New Yorker cartoons come to life.

Meg said...

I think I liked the "maybe it wasn't such a great idea to name him Rimbaud" the best. Although there are a lotta contenders.

The Countess of Nassau County said...

I'm in love.

Holly said...

Hysterical!

Can't stand Dwell. All those sharp angles, hard edges, reflective surfaces, vast expanses of glass, ugh! So chilly. I would be a neurotic mess in boxes like those.

Anonymous said...

"That goes ditto for me," she said anonymously. :)

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Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this, now I have a second favorite blog. January 27, 2010 3:01 PM

Katherine Lee said...

that's hilarious... i often wonder what the poor children do in those gorgeous modern homes. have a great week!

xo urban flea :)
http://www.urbanfleadesign.net

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard I sharted!

big boy said...

Ah the Neurosis of the minimalist.

Meander said...

Oh my goodness - I had a friend send me that blog a few weeks ago and I simply adore it! Absolutely hilarious and your totally right: well deserved spanking indeed!