Friday, January 22, 2010

This kitchen: Yes or No?



"I wanted a place where the dogs can get up on the furniture, where I can make a mess in the kitchen," she said. "My biggest thrill is making omelets for my friends. In New York I don't even know where my kitchen is." - Joan Rivers

HERE.

148 comments:

R said...

Too. Much. Crap.

Anonymous said...

yes!! for me, the only things I would change are the 2 large portraits. but that's me. this works.

Miss Holmes said...

Reminds me of Disneyland, The Haunted Hotel ride. That must be their inspiration. The part of the ride when you get into the elevator, and you start descending down and the room stretches. The proportions are off. The painting are eerily similar. SO BIG NO.

sotto cenere said...

Too much for me, sorry, Joan!
Surprisingly tasteful, though, given the occupant. And really, who knows what wierd shit we'll be rocking when we're 76.
So, let's see..
1)Managed to find a spot for the tv (of course) but, oops, forgot to hideaway the trash bin?
2) If she was cooking anything more than omelets the kitchen grease would quickly make a nice icky coating on those plates, portraits and 10,000 mini shades. And then the dirty fuzz comes next. But that's something for the little people to be concerned with.
3)We know that she does not have ancestors who arrived on the Mayflower but given that Babushkas and Peyes are not good looks, particulary in the kitchen, I think it's ok to fudge on the ancestral roots. I'm sure she has a whole schtick about them anyway.

Anonymous said...

The top third needs to go.

atlanticart said...

I like the idea of having those old paintings--fragile and precious--right over the spot where you deep fry your Twinkies but all that clutter up so high has me a little dizzy.

DesignAddict said...

I would want to see the rest of the room, but on first inspection...I like most of it from the top of the cabinets on down. The shelves are dust magnets and seem like a bonk on the head waiting to happen and the "fake dead relatives" pictures give me the creeps. And if they are real dead relatives, why do I want to eat with them?

It has been a crazy week. I'm extra-opinionated today, I guess.

Mint Julep said...

YES!

Anonymous said...

No, thanks. The kitchen from this month's House Beautiful, please.

nkp said...

No. Actually, hell no. What a visual mess. Is it inhabited by giants?

sketch42 said...

For my house, No. Fun to look at though.

laurelstreet said...

Oh, why not. The shelving and pewter collection is actually kind of cool, but if the kitchen is that big, then I'm sure somewhere else in the house could've supported Aunt Martha and Uncle George.

EAC said...

Love the top 1/3. Hope that's pewter and not silver or polishing will be...impossible. No to the trash can, the thin counters, the arc shape of the island, and the posts supporting the island eating area.

Harbormom said...

Magnificent! From the floor to about 10' up. Above that, it's just decoration. And where's the rolling ladder to reach all those chotchkes?

Anonymous said...

Pretty, but I'd rather have more prep surface than all the vertical space.

brianne said...

ooh, no! i would feel like a miniature in some museum diorama. and plus, living in a seismic zone i'd bee too afraid all those dishes would come toppling down.

Emily said...

Can you imagine dusting all that up there???? Yikes!! That was my second thought after, "ooo... pretty white."

Anonymous said...

YES! plus 1 tall cleaner please

Michelle (Three Men and a Lady) said...

Yes. It's different. It's thinking outside of the box. A bit busy, but daring, nonetheless. What else to do with all that space on top?

suzewearsshoes said...

Reminds me of a Brambly Hedge kitchen http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2100/1717471687_3d11d77551_o.jpg

I quite like it! Although from a practical point of view, the dusting would be a nightmare.

LauraJane said...

No thank you. It looks like the floor between kitchen and the "room upstairs" is missing.

Erin said...

Um, no. Reminds me of going down the elevator in Disney's Haunted House where the pictures just keep stretching and stretching. And all I can think about is how dirty and gross those upper level of stuff is going to be.

Anonymous said...

No. I'm just not feeling the portrait thing...and I like non-traditional looks in the kitchen...loved the mirror over the stove earlier this week. This just isn't working for me...

Nikki said...

Yes! I feel like I'm Alice in the rabbit hole. Beautiful, draws the eye up.

Brooke said...

Yes. It is like a library and a kitchen all in one. Some of my favorite things.

Anonymous said...

as long as I don't have to dust it, hell yeah.

DoxaHome.com said...

Yes...and I am not one who traditionally likes busy interiors however I find this incredibly charming, I believe the artwork and art lighting break up the collection really nicely. I would have probably used a clear glass chandelier as to be a bit less distracting but overall...thumbs us from me;)

Best,
Jaime

Emily said...

I stand to (potentially) inherit that style of portrait....and it would creep me out to hang it in the kitchen. i do dig the island and light fixture, though.

Emily said...

the lower half. YES! the upper half...NOT SO MUCH.

the dutch purple rabbit said...

no too much for me

The Zhush said...

no...my OCD sees only the DUST!

AppleTree said...

kinda creepy

Anonymous said...

Hard to say...it took me a minute to even look at the parts you would call a kitchen (appliances, cabinets, countertops). My eyes kept drifting up to all those PLATES and the portraits of Granny and Gramps--and that huge chandelier.

Too much for me, I think!

Henrietta said...

She needs all that to make omelets?

NO.

Anonymous said...

No. Way too much "stuff". Remove everything from just above eye level up - vast improvement. Get rid of the chandelier. Buy a decent trash can. Feed the animal somewhere else.
Anon.

Patience said...

NO. Who's going to dust that regularly?

Jill said...

From the neck down: YES, absolutely lovely.

From the neck up: NO, good god?!

Too much going on way, way up there. One would need a forklift to access any of that "stuff" or to actually view those portraits of ma and pa kettle.

In my humble opinion, ceilings that tall create a nice, dramatic entryway to a two story home... and that's about it.

Brigitte said...

Good god no! I think I just had a seizure.

Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

No thank you.

Something about steam hitting those painted heads just seems wrong.

Kelly

pamela said...

Yes! I normally wouldn't be drawn to a kitchen like this but it so reminds me of Sir John Soane's house in London. And if the kitchen really is the new living room, why not add some family portraits to liven things up! If nothing else, it's not your average white kitchen!

aimeewrites said...

All I can think of is my dust allergies and the havoc all those dust collectors would wreak...

Christina said...

Love it from the floor up to about ten feet...then the love goes away.

Does anyone paint their kitchens acid green or bright yellow anymore? Just wondering.

Anonymous said...

I think it's great from the floor to the first 8 or 10 feet up. I love the chandelier. Beyond that, it's a great way to store and display collections, but doesn't it get dusty? And I'd worry a bit about errant grease settling on the oils.

-EM

Ali said...

No. I live in an earthquake prone part of the country and this kitchen scares me.

Anonymous said...

Love the paintings. Chandelier, not so much. Overall a yes.

freshpinkstyle said...

No.

L said...

Hell to the YES!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

i have a kitchen similar to this and though it is gorgeous it is VERY hard to clean. the chandelier collects grease in the air and then attracts dust. all the items on my shelves do the same. i love it but it is a pain at the same time.

Bloggers Abode said...

Eeee Gad... It's like decor with Tourette's.

Anonymous said...

yes!!!!

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

The oil paintings bother me. They seem to be looking this way and that for a more appropriate place to hang themselves. So to speak.

I suppose it doesn't help that I know whose kitchen this is.

Jesse Lu said...

My first instinct is YES, i love those portraits and the chandelier. But on second thought, living in California, those plates are a death wish.

Jane Schott said...

It just seems to go on and on, or rather up and up. I would have found a larger chandelier for the room.
It just seems out of proportion. I love the museum lites on the oil paintings though.

Shelley said...

Oh my goodness--I don't know where to look first. I like the kitchen but all those plates and the artwork up high is confusing. Too busy for me.

Sharon said...

My immediate reaction before reading the question: Good Lord!
My answer: No!

Anonymous said...

Almost.

Anonymous said...

Almost.

Ivy Lane said...

NO!

Susan said...

Oy. I'm gonna say no. Unless your house has zero gravity and you can just float up to grab a glass...not very practical. Not that it needs to be...but it would give me a serious neck cramp.

Anonymous said...

it's like 10 thousand pottery barns puking simultaneously. do love the chandelier though.

Lynn said...

I live in earthquake-prone California, so that's a big NO from me.

melissa said...

I guess if your ceilings are that high you're duty bound to find some way to fill that dead space. The kitchen, complete with lugubrious portraits of other people's relatives, I could learn to love, but those "pleather" stools, one complete with a phone circa 1989, have got to go.

KathleenG said...

yes

KathleenG said...

Yes

red ticking said...

you just gotta love joan... not cozy enough for me... have a great weekend.

Decorno said...

Totally agree. I love Joan.

Anonymous said...

enh...i don't *dislike* it, and i'm surprised at how sleek most of it is...if i had to contrast it with the one in alabama, i'd say this one lacks...soul. warmth. artistry. it's like a grand house with a library, but dummy books, or ones that they just schlepped in simply to have. i'm back to my usual 14-18 hour days so i'm less coherent. wouldnn't have pegged this with joan though. quelle surprise...

Anonymous said...

Big 'ol NO.

Anonymous said...

With all that fuss, someone forgot to make space for garbage. Just think, two antique paintings hanging over the sink and stove and no place for garbage except a free standing can at the end of the lower cabinets. Go figure?

Shelley said...

I say hell no! There are so many things wrong with this space... I don't think I would ever place beautiful works of art above a greasy stove. The scale is so off. And way too much crap every where! Finally, I agree with sotto cerne, what's with the trash can? Joan couldn't find a cabinet to hide that in, even if it's just for the photo shoot?

holly goes lightly said...

love the white, classic New England lines, antique pewter, lighting, and fabulous oil paintings. would i have my own kitchen look exactly like this? no. are there bits I would borrow/steal? yes.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing rather insecure people need so much stuff around them to make them feel better; however, those who do soon learn stuff doesn't make one happy. Happiness is an inside job that can't be bought.

The Blasphemous Fiendess said...

I love Joan too. This kitchen isn't my style, but I would happily visit a friend in it. If it is Joan's style then it's totally appropriate for her to have it in her house. I agree with all the people who've said the first 10' are good. The paintings and decorations above are dust collectors. But then I doubt she cleans her own place.

Cote de Texas said...

love it to death, surprised? I actually love her style. but not crazy about her poor face. she looks like that Cat Woman merged with Michael Jackson now. someone needs to tell that woman enough. enough. omg, that mouth, those cheeks - she's not even human looking anymore. poor thing.

RobtW said...

Not quite. It's an interesting idea lost in execution.

I like the height, and the idea of things up high on shelves, and the portraits, but it's an unholy mess in terms of scale.

Given the height and size of the room, the cabinetry looks too off-the-rack, an afterthought grabbed up in the frenzy of some Design Star episode ("Designers, inside each of your envelopes you'll find a $15,000 gift card from our friends at Home Depot!") Similarly, the display shelves are too thin and insubstantial, lost in the space. To scope out what those itsy-bitsy bits of gimcrack on the shelves are, you'd need a pair of birding binocs.

For a room of that height, it lacks an architectural focus: it's just appliances and cabinetry and bits and bobs all around the perimeter, with a big, spidery chandelier in the center. At least they could have made a big chimney breast to frame the stove...some kind of architectural focus.

I'll take this one instead: http://lh3.ggpht.com/_q2mCjuTT8FU/R6H7pNzhO0I/AAAAAAAAAiM/BnIe5TCuYCM/CIMG3244.JPG

Anonymous said...

I love it, and I think I'd like it even better in person. Sometimes when you stand around in a kitchen, they seem stale. Well, they are never this big and so we try to keep them clean...uncluttered.

A kitchen this size can handle it. It's pretty cool.

cheryl said...

no no no. Do not even know where to start! Proportions are all wrong. The execution of the details that might have been ok are all wrong. Basically, it just does not work.

Cheryl

www.kitchendetailsanddesign.com

Anonymous said...

If you have a great collection to showcase otherwise why bother.

Hallie said...

I'm gonna have to say no. To much up high brick-a-brack. Makes me wanna duck and cover
Though I will say, I very firmly believe that Joan can and should continue to do whatever the f she wants.

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

Kitchen~ YES!

joanny said...

Love it -- Hate it

I know call me fickle -- the thing is-- it looks top heavy.. too much stuff going on up high -- maybe if they reduced the amount of clutter & removed some of the shelving -- the lightening fixture is too busy -- the paintings -- just does not belong --too gloomy-
maybe something vibrant -- a colorful picture of a rooster paired with another of painting of a luscious pear with a red background - something to balance all the white cabinets or something soothing & calming softer - paintings -- like Steve Giannetti's art found on Velvet & Linen http://brookegiannetti.typepad.com/velvet_and_linen/2010/01/steves-art.html
this isn't a plug for Steve's art -- he just is incredibly talented.
Joanny

Cassandra Lynn said...

This kitchen is cavernous. I'd like it with all my stuff in it.

PS: I love you. Your blog. I'm so sick of all the whiny bitches over at Apartment Therapy. I love you now. Their readers complain about EVERYTHING.

Anonymous said...

Love Joan, love the kitchen and let her have as much plastic surgery as she wants, it's her face and her money!

doug said...

that place is a bigger mess than Joan is

Anonymous said...

Joni, you're kind of the Joan Rivers of Ladybloggers.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Rivers has a wonderful staff that keeps her properties in beautiful condition. Cleaning and dust is not an issuse ever. When one own 80+ arces in CT (just down the road from Bill Blass) you live at a different scale.

EE said...

Aren't those matching dishwashers on either side of the sink?

Very useful - for a serious entertainer, or someone trying to minimize any and all kitchen chores between housekeeper visits (wouldn't hold that against anyone with the luxury, whether their life is actually busy or not).

Maybe the garbage cabinet-drawer used to be where one of the dishwashers now is?

Anonymous said...

Surprisingly stingy in cabinet storage.

AilanthusAltissima said...

Heh. No. No. No. No. No. No. No!

It looks like a house of a person who is long-dead - the kind that you see on those obligatory tours of historic sites.

David said...

Lose the shelves, add more old portraits and I'm in.

Anonymous said...

NO, no and no.

s. said...

No.

Anonymous said...

So traditional. Who knew? Not the glitter and glam I would have thought.

Reminds me of rock and roll stars' homes (I think you've posted these in the past, Decorno) who, as it turns out, have very traditional tastes. Lindsey Buckingham's kitchen I think you've posted.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 8:20, you are so right!

Sharon said...

Wow! Impressive response to a simple question Decorno ... again!

reclamationdesign@yahoo.com said...

It's ridiculous. No thanks a lot.

Lolo said...

The house looks like most of the McMansions around here but I do like how she comes across as a very happy old broad.

Anonymous said...

I agree with David 9:20. Love high artwork - get rid of the tchotchke.

But I am most intrigued by the garbage pail. In an odd way, the fact that it is there makes me like the kitchen more.

Anonymous said...

Totally pretentious. Like her.

Ginger said...

It looks just like the kitchen in "Legend," where the evil dwarf guys are baking Tom Cruise's friends in a pie to feed to Tim Curry's Devil character.

Libby said...

Surprisingly, it works. I don't know that I love those particular portraits, but I like the New England traditional merged with the basically clean lines.

Daisy's Mercantile said...

At first I thought it was great as it is totally my color scheme. Then I really looked at it and I hate the portraits in the kitchen, the lighting is not good for cooking and I a firm believer that if you need to have 50K in appliances you should at least try and make sure they work and finally what's up with the garbage can and dog bowl on the out of place rug?

Heather said...

I like it, a lot. Only thing is the plastic trash can... FAIL.

desiree said...

Too busy--keep thinking of all the stuff I'd need to dust or keep the kitchen muck off of.

Kate said...

I don't love it or hate it. I looked at it earlier and it's not as tall in height as I remember, it's slightly less grotesque than what I thought I saw earlier.

Mostly what I don't like about it, I wouldn't like all this shit in a smaller kitchen, so it looks blah in a humongous kitchen. The style, it is lacking something. It seems just ordinary, except larger. I don't mind the plates on shelves or the trash out in the open. I guess it's supposed to seem like a museum in a real person's kitchen, but it just looks like a huge regular person's kitchen. Boring. I guess it's supposed to be impressive, but this kitchen is a big yawn to me. I suppose if it were any more exciting, it would be overwhelming due to size, so there's that.

SarahHord said...

I would love to visit this kitchen on a semi-regular basis. I need a 360 degree view. Just the thought of dusting makes me cringe.

Quatorze said...

Looks like a good idea that just got away from her. Just because you can actually fit everything into a space and keep to your design idea doesn't mean that you should do so. We have all gotten carried away by an idea and the honest/smart ones among us admit the error and go back and edit to recapture the idea's essence.

Anonymous said...

Hells no. It looks so fake. Like some pseudo-English country manor kitchen with too many tchotchkes on shelves you can't reach. Ridiculous!

Mary Grace said...

what's with the white plastic garbage can?
That needs to go ASAP!!
Love the rest.

mishebe said...

Yes, i like her house, of what is pictured too.

marlazz said...

YES! except for the portraits... scale is good though.

Anonymous said...

The trash can and the dog bowls are the best parts.

Decorating magazines need to start showing trash cans, and electrical cords, and scuff marks, and places where the painting went a little over the line. They need to be more journalistic in their coverage, and stop behaving like publicists--hiding all the embarrassing parts and buffing the decorators and homeowners to a high sheen of PR perfection.

Anonymous said...

Would love to see all the reactions if no one had known this is Joan Rivers' kitchen.

Katherine Lee said...

what an awesome quote. i'm not the biggest fan of the kitchen itself, but i've got to say, i admire her design philosophy!

xo katherine aka. urban flea :)
http://www.urbanfleadesign.net

Anonymous said...

We are actually talking about a kitchen that doesn't belong to Sally Wheat.

Laurie Jones said...

If you could lower the ceiling and get rid of the 6 feet of shelving and the portraits I'd love the kitchen.

Anonymous said...

Good Gawd! Her kitchen is just as overdone as her cosmetic surgeries!

Anonymous said...

I love the portraits. The kitchen is not perfect. But I do like the room as a whole.

For those who profess hatred, consider the following:

---She has a driver for God's sake. Joan doesn't dust. She has staff. There is a big difference between "do you like it?" and "would you like to have this kitchen in your own home?"

---This is 3rd or 4th home... a weekend country getaway. The kitchen makes sense in that setting. I would not like this in Miami or LA, but it works in this context.

If I had the ability to indulge my urban and urbane kitchen fantasy in a NYC apartment, I would probably do something very sleek. But then I'd do something entirely different for my weekend home (!).

If I only had one kitchen to style, this would probably not be it. But if I had two... well... maybe one of them might be something like this.

(I can't believe I'm defending Joan Rivers...)

Black Dog Salvage said...

i would never turn down an invitation for omelets but still can't get past the trash can...

Decorno said...

Anon - the first 67 comments were submitted before I updated the post to indicate it was Joan's, and before I linked to the Times' article. Just FYI.

Will said...

HELL TO THE NO!

Will said...

AND WHO STYLED THIS PHOTOSHOOT MY GOD!?! AT LEAST TAKE OUT THE WHITE PLASTIC GARBAGE CAN IN THE CORNER!?! ARE THEY SERIOUS!?!

Lindsay said...

Love all the white shelves with ceramics and the crazy paintings, but I'm always depressed by all those Frenchy panelled cabinets with arches and windows and tra la. Too stuffy. I'd have mixed the paintings and shelving with more modern white cabinetry and it would have been cooler. Not bad though. The all white scheme makes the visual busyness work.

Anonymous said...

I love it and I wouldn't care about stuff that collects dust 15' feet up, because, who are we kidding, I don't dust stuff in my modest little 8' ceiling home either. As for the portraits not having anything to do with anything, many pictures hung in my home are of things and people that have nothing to do with my life either - I just like 'em.

Yeah, it may be a little higher than what I would have, but she and I live in different worlds. Not a kitchen I will ever own, but I like it and and I can use it for inspiration in my world.

And boy would I love to have her plastic surgery budget! The only difference is that I'd have my ass re-lifted and smoothed out, but hey, each to their own :O)

sioux falls cars said...

That doesn't look like a kitchen. It looks like a museum.

Donna @ dh designs said...

Ahhh - from the wall cabinets down - above that NO WAY - too much stuff!

Kwana said...

I say yes. She doesn't have to dust, she's giving someone gainful employment for that. As long as making omelets there makes her happy then it's a yes all the way. I like it.

Anonymous said...

I love the upper two thirds, but I think they should have carried it through to the bottom.

The base calls for real furniture - not stock cabinetry or cabinetry with furniture-like accents.

A farmhand table and some primitive cabinets cozying up to those appliances would have fit so much better.

Chris said...

INCREDIBLE! It's so unusual and reminds me of the Nutcracker ballet for some reason

Anonymous said...

I purposely didn't read the other comments before posting mine. I really like this house. It is nothing like I would imagine for Joan Rivers. I am surprised a bit that she has such classic, traditional taste. Her home is lovely. The kitchen is wonderful!

Margaret, Virginia

pve design said...

Reminds me of that place in the city "Jekly and Hide"
all propped out!

Bec said...

NO. Pretentious beyond belief.

Anonymous said...

She's having a good time. What does she care if a bunch of decor-blog nerds disapprove?

jennifer said...

I love the high ceilings and the fact that the massive chandelier, paintings, and the open shelving brings your eye upward. It's a creative idea and compositionally, it's a very seductive space. But the voice of reason in me is frightened by the dust that is going to gather on all that pewter.

slinny said...

I don't even know why this is a question! I love it!

Sarah
www.pittsburgh-odds-and-sods.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I would love it if I were visiting or staying for a short while. It would be fun. But I wouldn't want it forever.

I also love Joan. And the non-whiny commenters here.

Anonymous said...

please please put up another photo....anything at all will be better than this ugly kitchen. thank you!

Condo Blues said...

If I had a ton of serving ware that I didn't use and needed a place it stick it, why not on the wall? Not sure about the portraits. Bold choice but not quite my personal style.

Jen of Made By Girl said...

i have to say it's INTERESTING....looks more like an art museum...but it's not bad. I really love the high ceilings more than anything else!
:)))))

Jen Ramos
'Cards & Prints You'll Love...'
www.madebygirl.com
madebygirl.blogspot.com

newbeeinma said...

Ditch the chandelier! Looks like dixie cups turned upside down and spray painted!

Anonymous said...

This kitchen is amazing. When you conform to tradition you limit your possibilities. Every room deserves a chance to be the best it can possibly be regardless of function. Very original and nicely edited.

There is a balance here between function fun which is more than most homes will ever claim to have.

Anonymous said...

It is impressive for about five seconds...

Bonnie said...

Who set the wall for dinner? Does Joan Rivers use Botox to keep those dishes firmly in place?

I only kinda like the bottom half... not all that stuff on the walls above the cupboards. It's too busy and it makes me feel dizzy. It would be too much for anyone to clean. I feel the ceiling should start at or near the top of the cupboards too.

I live in Calif, and all those things would fly off the wall in an earthquake and keep me in a constant state of worry that they were gonna fly at any moment. Actually, I wouldn't want this kitchen no matter where I lived.

The center island seems like it should be bigger. Definitely move the portraits to the library/den study room. The wood and cabinets seem a bit bland. Are there two dishwashers? Or is that a dishwasher and trash compactor? Actually, I'll just take the dishwasher cuz mine broke, and I need a new oven/stove, that's broken too. Otherwise, no but thank you for offering me Joan River's kitchen.

Dana said...

scary ! ! !

Kerry said...

Late (for a very important date) in commenting, I expect to see Alice falling into it at any moment chasing after some rabbit wear a watch and chain. So, no.

Anonymous said...

Nouveau hell-hole.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised that people are surprised that Joan has good taste. Her NY apartment is amazing. She's been buying Fine French Furniture since she started earning money.

http://realestalker.blogspot.com/2009/05/joan-rivers-puts-big-number-on-her.html

Anonymous said...

For Miz Rivers? Absolutley. Anyone else? HELL No