Monday, January 24, 2011

“It felt really suburban to me."




Eve and Rich Kessner left the West Village for Park Slope with their daughter, Avi, last March. But after six months, they found themselves looking for a new place to live. “It felt really suburban to me,” said Ms. Kessner. “Park Slope has puppets and guitar strumming for kids. In Williamsburg, it is like rock ‘n’ roll for kids.”


You're so special!!! You should live in a more special neighborhood! You should make sure your kids are cool like you! Go on with your bad selves, hipsters!


I don't know why I keep reading this shit in the NYT. It just gives me a major fucking headache.

HERE

41 comments:

grumblebunny said...

You are correct.

AppleTree said...

amen sister. some city dwellers can get so self-righteous.

Courtney said...

"they considered Park Slope, but Mr. Signer was turned off by the brownstone-lined streets and child-friendly restaurants."
Yes...that sounds absolutely awful. Wait, no...Mr. Signer does.

Sarah's Fab Day said...

Aahh Decorno, I love it when you come back and tease us with funny shit like this!

The Townhouselady said...

First thought- Loathe.

Immediate second- Poor kid let's pray she's cool or they'll have to replace her for a hipper model.

Kwana said...

I'm afraid to click over with the beginnings of a migraine but still I'm snorting.

Anonymous said...

I'm so with you. She is such an entitled ass. I believe the article quotes her as saying that even though other neighborhoods had better schools etc it was all about her.

AA said...

Haha, thrilled someone else gagged on this one too! At least they left the west village (my hood), every time I end up in Williamsburg I meet someone with a child, or dog, named "Axel"... no kidding.

Sarah said...

I wish there was a "like" button for this post.

Jules said...

"We really felt this was the right spot, with all the bars and restaurants."

No words.

The Countess of Nassau County said...

There is nothing more uncool in the universe than people obsessed with being cool. Don't you just want to slap them.

In a few years these douchebags will be sobbing into their Belgian beers because they moved to a neighborhood with no freakin' schools. Well done hipsters.

Anonymous said...

They certainly look like a miserable family. Except for the kid. She's adorable. I feel a little sorry for her.

Anonymous said...

I read these too and hate myself for it...Ali

Penelope Bianchi said...

I totally agree. WTF???? "Suburban" is a dirty word?

How stupid and superficial; and most of all irrelevant.

Puppets? Something's wrong with puppets for a toddler? I bet she liked them! And the guitar strumming!

GEEEEZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is left still writing for the NYTimes?

People who think they're "hipsters" with their fingers on the "pulse"? YUCK.

Good call.

Hillary said...

Just stumbled upon your blog and love this post...you go on with your bad-self!

mary said...

Yes, some people just neeeeeeeeeed to feel special. Which is pretty boring.

snobertson said...

I saw this article too and it made me laugh my ass off. God, it makes me hurt to think about them overthingking life like they are.

Anonymous said...

How I missed you Decorno!

Alice Almighty said...

Amen!

Anonymous said...

I need to fuck that hipster daddy into next Wednesday.

ruthanne 17 said...

amen. thank you for saying this.

Decorno said...

Jules - - I know! I died reading that.

lotusmoss said...

Pretty incredible. Where do they get these people? And god forbid a kid have to look at puppets and acoustic guitars!?!

findingfabulous said...

God thanks for posting again. I needed that laugh

Sara L said...

Let me guess, they couldn't afford Park Slope??

SGM said...

Let me guess, they couldn't find any friends in Park Slope b/c they are Assholes.

(although I have to say I was a city snob--but in Denver, so it doesn't really count--but then when we moved to the suburbs, it was all Target and plentiful parking and drive-thru banking and I loooove it.)

alex said...

Maybe they should try Bed-Stuy--Maybe that's urban enough for them. I hope all the bars start blasting music until closing. See how shitty Park Slope looks then.

Lady Blue said...

Yeah... these people are too fucking much. Park Slope feels suburban to you? Yeah, really?!

I sat here for 5 minutes trying to come up with a more eloquent comment but that pretty much sums it up. I haven't run into any of these pretentious people in NYC yet, but that's probably due to my age... I'm currently surrounded by hoardes of wannabe actors, models, t-shirt designers and musicians. Lord... what's worse?

Anonymous said...

Live in Williamsburg, 2 kids, and yes these people are annoying but we (and most others we know) moved here because we got a better deal on an apartment, not because we are too cool for Park Slope. I personally prefer it to Park Slope because it's much closer to Manhattan. And we happen to love our school actually, and yes, our restaurants (most are very child friendly). Just because these people suck does not mean the neighborhood does. The hipsters are rampant and they rarely smile but they're harmless. I wish they had interviewed some more people for the article. It has, in fact, become "Toddler Town" but most people are totally down-to-earth.

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

"The building has a long list of amenities, including a full-size indoor basketball court where Avi likes to kick balls around with Ms. Kessner, a swimming pool and a separate shallow pool for children and a large playroom."

Rock 'n' roll, Kessners. Rock 'n' roll. And I'd looovvveee to take them on a walking tour of Bed-Stuy.

Anonymous said...

epiphany. you are/were gwd. correct?

Decorno said...

Anon - no.

Anonymous said...

Decorno, what the hell is gwd? Too much hipness for me to keep up with.

yasmine said...

i felt a bit of second hand embarrassment after reading that.

Anonymous said...

Did Penelope Bianchi really use WTF?

maison21 said...

as an urban-centric, suburb-o-phobic gay, i have to ask- isn't part of the point of living in suburbia *because* it's good place to raise a child?

poor kids- maybe they can have rats and cockroaches for pets.

ps- anon, i can vouch for lady d- she wasn't gwd. that particular authoress has long been outed.

Anonymous said...

oy, it's so hard. It IS too suburban in Park Slope (I live there)... but I hate those people. And you know the NYT writer is friends with them, else why would their embarrassing preoccupation with their own coolness be deemed interesting or newsworthy?

katiedid said...

That kid is going to grow up, have her own kid and say, "We moved to Park Slope because Rock and Roll is just so 2011....we have gone cool retro introducing our kid to puppets and guitar strumming".

Anonymous said...

What does "gwd." mean?

Anonymous said...

I don't know about Park Slope and Williamsburg, but suburbs do make me want to kill myself. Stepped outside my mother-in-law's McMansion on an especially hot afternoon last summer, and when 70 quasi-identical homes stared me down, I had a reaaally special Munch/Camus/Nietzsche moment.

Anonymous said...

Anon 10:46 pm:

"gwd" = "gay while drunk"