Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Agree?


21 comments:

The Countess of Nassau County said...

Hell yes I agree. Many, many, many women (myself included) want to have a satifying career, be an accessible and devoted mother, and be part of meaningful romantic relationship. All of the above are difficult to attain/maintain in and of themselves, much less achieving all of them simultaneously. So a lot of women (myself included) choose to dial back their careers for a while to focus on their families.

Kate said...

I think it was Joan Rivers who said that you can only do two of three well. The three being 1. relationship 2. kids 3. career.
Pick only two out of three.

penelopebianchi said...

No "LOL" from this corner. I did not get this.
Why?

this comment is today......but why didn't I get this one?

I always have a comment. 100% of the time!

Penelope

penelopebianchi said...

Yikes! A "flurry" of posts! and me past my bedtime! comment flurry tomorrow!

Penelope

LB said...

Or they do like me and don't have kids. All my energy goes into my academic career, my friends, family, and of course, my other half.

SFDC said...

But they ARE sacrificing. They are sacrificing the career instead. Men don't have to choose. Just like no one asks the man, "how do you manage having a career AND a family?"

Jill said...

I think you have to find the right man...and nanny. But, this is coming from a childless woman.

Anonymous said...

Depends on the artform. There are no great female classical music composers, mysteriously. But there are tons of great female writers.

car said...

Women end up sacrificing - in some way or another. Our society is just set up so that men (usually) end up sacrificing less.

But one thing about having kids - the sacrifice is temporary. They grow up, need you less, you move on. Everything has stages, careers, families, relationships. I think there is room, over a long life, to have many things be "the most important", for a time.

Nothing lasts forever, anyway.

Snezana Mahoney said...

Men with demanding careers and families don't have the same relationship with their families as men who don't have the "big" career... they just don't know it.

Snezana Mahoney said...

Men with demanding careers and families don't have the same relationship with their families as men with "smaller" careers do.... they just aren't aware of it.

Sneza said...

Men with demanding careers and families don't have the same relationship with their families as men with "smaller" careers do.... they just aren't aware of it.

Anonymous said...

For some woman yes, for others, hell no.

I am married. Make a mill a year at my dream art job. Have one kid and baby on the way.

I have sacrificed a lot to get here (weekends, social life) and I rely on all the help I can get/ buy. And my hub is super supportive.

As someone who creates for a living (I write), how can I tell about life if I am not living it?

To each their own, but that bitch's half-baked ethos doesn't define this broad.

Anonymous said...

hmm. agree with car. i was talking to a 19 year old a couple of days ago, and at 45, she had me in stitches. yes, it was like revisiting my earlier self and i was amused. her attitude was 'do it all, why not?' and my thought was "doing it all is fucking exhausting", and after a while, you don't WANT to do it all. what defines your life? what gives it meaning? will you have to throttle back, loosen up, become obsessive, or whatever is required at different times to realize those things? probably. if you pick something up, you have to put something down. so if you're holding onto something, milk it, thoroughly enjoy the fuck out of it or get what you need to from it. then put it down and go pick up something else. isn't, or can't that be the JOY in life-that we have the freedom and ability to have all those experiences? um, no one said simultaneously, though that seems to be the goal. and no one has everything all the time.

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with CAR. Your kids need you less as they mature and eventually leave the nest. When they are small however no amount of nannies and lovely care providers can take your place, (hey I spent many European work trips on the phone reading stories to, and helping mine with English and algebra while jet lagged, exhausted and just plain spent). It has all been worth it.

Anonymous said...

You CAN have it all - just not at the same time.

Anonymous said...

I understand her statement and agree. But I do think some are better at juggling than others. I really do. I have two friends, one a CEO at a major cosmetics comapnay, another a huge position at a huge internet company...and they both are beautiful, have children, and travel a lot. But they have great nannies, great husbands, and the ability to compartmentalize.

I think men are very good at compartmentalization. Some women are, some aren't. Maybe its nature or nurture, but some women have trouble keeping home off their minds while at work, or work off their minds while at home. This leads to guilt. So I do think it takes that knack, that special 'it' factor.

I'm terrible at juggling. And I have even felt guilty about that.
So I think it's about knowing who you are, how you can function the very best and be present in the moment your in. Whether you can handle (and frankly, need to handle) a lot at once, or need to clear your plate and have a simpler life...just finding what works for you is the best you can do.

Kristin said...

I think some people can, other people can't. And to lessen the jealousy of those (me) who can't do everything, I suspect that some of the ones who can't do everything at once do the things that they can extremely well and better than most of the people who can do everything. Is that sentence too convoluted? I can't work and troll a blog at the same time. Good Lord, and I'm baby hungry.

Supriya said...

Don't think there is any great insight in this statement.Being an artist requires you to be selfish and a little self obsessed about your point of view. If you are female and have this quality then who is stopping you. how does being a married woman or a mother get into the equation. yes, being a mother makes you less selfish but then again, neat compartmentalization can take care of this.

Richie Designs said...

I'd agree.

gina-rae said...

Women can have a lot of what they want.Just not all at the same time.Men don't have to sacrifice anything.They can have it all ,cause some chick is probably picking up the slack at home.I don't know what this broad means about "women not being prepared to sacrifice like men.."I don't see men giving things up.