Oooh...Me likey: Smoke & Ochre blog

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The devil's in the details.

It's all in the details.

I can spend hours on a Sunday just puttering around the house, going through vintage photos, family photos, reorganizing my office, sorting through magazines and editing a new stack of design books to keep on my office desk and peruse through this week. It's all the little things in the house that make me happy - little souvenirs from travel or scores from recent flea market adventures.

I had dinner with office mates recently and we were trying to guess everyone's sign. David just looked at me and blurted out, "You're a taurus. They're materialistic." He's kind of right. I do love stuff. Sometimes, I am a little snotty about it, too. Winston Churchill was on to something when he said, "My tastes are simple. I am easily satisfied with the best." These days, that applies to shoes and handbags where I have just succumbed to a little luxury. My thought is, since I can wear jeans to work, and I am not investing in suits or real clothes, maybe the accessories should be fantastic. So, the expense all comes out in the wash, you might say.

But at home, although I am technically "materialistic," some of the things I love the most cost me next to nothing, but to live without them would just kill me. When I see things like the old brass plate from a ship that says "TORPEDO ROOM" I just crack up, knowing you can't buy this kind of thing in a store. Or my old glass demi johns. No one else really has these. They odd things you collect become your signature, and that's what makes home feel like home, I guess.

The details matter. Maybe to no one else, but certainly to yourself.


I love flea markets so much, it's like they have a magnetic pull that grabs my car and yanks me over every time I see one (or a garage sale for that matter).

As a result, I find things I *must* have and yet I have no idea how I will use them.

This door knocker from Buenos Aires, for example. Lovely. Doesn't really go with my house. And that kills me because I would so love to knock-knock-knock the thing just for fun when I come home.


And then we have this massive film reel. I have only looked at the first maybe 3 feet of the negative, and I am not yet sure the subject of it. Sometime, I swear, I will find a projector and watch it. In the meantime, the reel is just kicking it in my office.


I am admittedly shell-obsessed. Here's another way I have managed to put them to good use. I use them here for the perfume samples that I randomly try out. I also use them at work to sort paperclips and rubber bands on my desk.


Vintage keys. I cannot pass up vintage keys ever. This is (sadly) just a small portion of the collection.


I am too lazy to throw away matches after I have lit a candle (plus I have a paranoia that I will light a garbage fire...) so I toss them onto a shell, and then put another shell on top to hide them. Weird? Maybe. I also don't like ugly match boxes sitting around, so this little cover up does the trick.


Faithful readers know I am obsessed with ribbon and wrap. Here's proof - - these are POST IT notes, for the love of god. But they are pretty funny, and I knew that it would crack my co-worker up. Who doesn't want to see a pretty little gift on her desk on a Monday morning? I think that if it's worth giving, it's worth wrapping well.

Things That Are Wrong, Part II - The Entertaining Edition

1. Napkin rings and folded napkins. As cute as the little urchins are, I have to say, napkins rings just shouldn't happen. If you need to glitter up the occasion, maybe wear some killer jewelry. And folded napkins... totally go for it if you want to have your table look like a bad Catskills buffet.


2. Wine charms. Seriouly? Can people really not remember which glass belongs to whom? You know what my wine charm is? It's the lipstick stain I leave on my glass.

3. Paper napkins. I know I shouldn't even have to say it, but paper napkins when company is over is, well, not cool. Don't get me wrong, we rock paper-towels-as-napkins when we decide we want pizza for dinner and we're going to eat in front of the TV while we get caught up on episodes of The Office, but real napkins are inexpensive. Make good use of them and be a gracious hostess. And if you haven't spent 30 minutes on a Sunday ironing white cotton napkins, you really haven't lived. Seriously, you don't need that Zen-spa bullshit to relax, you need to do some monotonous homekeeping while listening to Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me.

4. These wine ring thingies. The just remind me of cock rings and they seem really uptight. It's like the OCD hostess's version of putting plastic on your couch.



5. The stupid Pottery Barn reindeers. Kill me now.


6. Asking me to take my shoes off at your house. This is my OFFICIAL announcement to all my friends that if you like your carpet or your hardwood floors more than you like me to be comfortable (and by comfortable, that means, keeping on the clothes and accessories I deemed nice enough to wear to your party) then that means you should not invite me.

The shoes-off requirement is so completely offensive. I want to ask these people when exactly did they buy their house at a Christie's auction?? Because only a house with that kind of pedigree could be so precious that it would need to be defended against my Louboutins.

REI is not the place to build your work wardrobe.

Dear Seattle-ite,

North Face doesn't really go with your weird, cheap unlined work trousers and your chunky-heeled shoes. I know you want to stay warm on this windy fall day as you go to your job as a file clerk at your law firm, but your zip-up fleece jacket is not the answer.

Your answer is a smart pea coat, or maybe a belted wool car coat. These options can be had for under $150 virtually anywhere, and you will have them for years.

Also, while we are on it, you walk funny and the heels on the outsides of your dated chunky shoes are wearing down. Now, if you want to look dated, that's fine, but can you please try to look polished? Take your shoes to a cobbler and have them repaired. Take care of them. You look like a mess and your shoes say so much about you. Don't you remember what style maven Hannibal Lecter told Clarice Starling/Jodie Foster years ago? "You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube." Exactly! Coco Chanel couldn't have said it any better. So take a tip from the cannibal and make sure your shoes are as good as your handbag.



Maybe we need to talk more about shoes since we do live in rainy Seattle. I know it's hard to get your shoe game plan together because there are so many things to consider: rain, hills, walk-ability.... it's a jungle out there. I know. But still, clunky shoes are NOT the answer. A large handbag is. Here's the deal... there are heels and there are flats. There should be nothing in between. That weird moderate loafer you have from 6 years ago? Stop it. You need a chic flat to get around in (that is, if you are totally opposed to learning how to rock heels like a real woman). So buy a pair you love, get a nice little felt shoe bag, and keep them in your purse. You can then presto-chango to and from work.

In your bag should be the workhorse heels - something you love - so spend a little money on them, dammit. These don't have to be sky high, but at least 2 3/4 inches. Remember when you were little and you wanted to be a glamorous woman and wear heels when you were all grown up? Pssst. That time is now. Take off the fleece, put on the heels, pull yourself together.

Looking like a lady is one of the great pleasures in a woman's life. Enjoy it.

I am no scrapbooker.

I have been thinking a lot today about a few things...

Blogging. It's so weird to think that we just put it out there... or in some cases, we don't. Like this Decorno business is supposed to be about decor, but it's really about the fantasy of perfect living, isn't it? Girls (and guys) like you and me who want to keep some kind of web log about good home ideas and how we can perfect our nests.

But there are so many really, really good blogs about decor, I have no business trying to be one of them. I have no interest in creating some kind of encyclopedic catalog of magazine clippings of perfect decor. Don't get me wrong. I *love* the blogs that do. I need these blogs, in fact, when I want inspiration or information about my next decorating project.

But that's just not me. Martha Stewart will never sponsor Decorno because I like to say "fuck" and I write about the unsexiness of zydeco.

Which leads me to the meat of the post, the other things I have been thinking randomly tonight.

Decorno is a bit limiting. I am never going to write about curtains. I, in fact, hate curtains. I am really interested in life and how we all think we can perfect it despite evidence to the contrary.

So, I am going to step out a bit and start writing about the rest of it. I have decided I don't care about traffic. Who wants traffic, anyway? I want readers.

So, on Decorno, you're still going to get the classics like "Things That Are Wrong" but you're also going to get more Jil Sander posts. And I am going to write more, and more randomly. And if you keep reading, great. And if not, I know exactly 3 of you who will follow me along as I do something different and weirder, and harder to read, but hopefully, more interesting and more unique. I've never been good at scrapbooks. I have been more of a writer the whole time, so that's what I am going to do.

You can't have sex to zydeco.

I am listening to NPR, and zydeco is playing, and I was thinking, wow. This reminds me of my dad. My father, he loves zydeco. And I am listening to this music thinking that it's such a joyful music, almost weirdly so. Kind of like the joy robots would have if they were joyful. Because there is certainly MORE joyful music in the world... music with real joy. Zydeco is joyful like you're tired of trying to force yourself to be happy. And given the roots of it, I think that sums it up.

And you can't have sex to zydeco, if you think about it. It might be the only unsexy music that's ever existed. Other than the Wiggles.

And there you have it. In case you were wondering about zydeco.

HOW WE REALLY LIVE: The home office.

This is my first official post for Original Content Week. The theme for my week is "How We Really Live." And today, friends, it's all about the ubiquitous home office.

How did we become project managers of our lives? How did it get to a point where we needed to buy P-touch label makers for our homes?

My desk, as you can see, is a laughably non-functional half-way house for piles of random things.

The little cubby thing I found for $25 bucks at a yard sale in Capitol Hill. It's like a vertical junk drawer... ribbon, perfume, those weird plastic fish that you put in your hand and they curl up and tell you your fortune, camera lenses, lens caps, tape, stationery, paper clips, gifts tags, you name it... it gets shoved in here, completely inelegantly. It ges so crowded that I resort to working on the sofa, with my feet on the white table (below).

So how/where do you guys work? Office? Den? Kitchen table? It's amusing how work/home completely bleeds into one another now. The worst is when I have my personal laptop, the company laptop, and my blackberry all on this table on a weekend. That's when I know, in fact, I have become The Man (as my fiance likes to condemn me...).


Fun finds from the San Telmo Flea Market in Buenos Aires, plus little Eiffels from Paris and junk stores here.


My ribbon obsession knows no limit.


Every gift looks chicer with a nice gift tag.


This is the defacto "desk" as it's often much tidier than my real desk. Every flat surface in my house should be on notice that it's merely *minutes* away from being a dumping ground for magazines, bills, anything.


I collect these mini photos at flea markets... these are the little vintage pre-made "souvenir photos" you'd buy on your grand adventure before the dawn of every tourist having his own camera. I like to use them as gift tags.


My fiance's mom paints her own cards for every holiday and, in the case of this fab card, will even paint a thank you card for having taken her out to dinner. Sally is very chic in this way... She's a constant reminder how I fail to meet any level of Emily Post-ness in my life.

This song is like crack wrapped in meth and I cannot get enough.

CHANEL TRIP DIARY
Uploaded by fashionaddictdiary

Basic, basic.

Thinking today what I will talk about next week, Original Content Week, and I remembered my fiance brought home this little video camera a while ago, so I thought I would put it to good use in the spirit of posting something personal and NOT torn from a magazine.

So, I sound retardedly self-conscious, because it seems slightly silly to record oneself and give a little house tour, but I wanted to take the camera for a spin because I am going to need some fresh content for next week, and everyone likes to be a voyeur, right? I can't believe I am so late to the You Tube party.



The dining room is NOT done, FYI. There are paint touch-up, re-staining of wood trim, and some framed things (a vintage touring map of France, for example) that need to go up.

Also, the sound is goofy. I seem to have a Drew Barrymore-like lisp on this recording, which is odd. Maybe the Flip hates the letter S?

Do something fucking fantastic this weekend!

This morning, in bed, I did a little scissor kick of happiness because I realized it's the first weekend in a loooong time when I have ZERO obligations and I don't have to go into the office or anything. I don't even need to leave the house. How magical is that??

Soooo, I was thinkng, I had better no squander it.

Here are things I am considering for my weekend... feel free to add suggestions in the comment box below, friends.

-Watch Diabolique (again) with champagne and popcorn sprinkled with truffle salt. I hear this is orgasmically good, but have never splurged on $20 truffle salt. This might be the weekend.

-Go on a decor book rampage and order like 6 at the same time from Amazon so that I can ensure a Christmas-like explosion of happiness when I get the package on Tuesday.

-Go see my friend Cristine Dahl's new baby AND pre-order her new book (I know! ALL my friends are having babies and publishing books... such accomplished people, these friends.)

-Prank call my mother. Ask her if her refrigerator is running. This would crack her up.

-Go to PCNW.They have a great gallery. Buy good, inexpensive art.

-Play tourist. Go to the top of the Space Needle. I have lived in Seattle 5 years and never done this. Afterward, walk over to Cafe Vita for some of the best coffee you can get your hands on in this country.

-Make beignets. I have a funny little Cafe du Monde box in my cupboard that needs my attention.

-Go to the San Juans for the day. Go shell hunting on Orcas Island. Shop all the antique stores in La Connor on my way back.

-Learn how to make a cocktail with a saucy name.

-Get dressed up for dinner. Order Campari. It seems chic to have Campari, yet I have never tried it.

-Wear my fur stole to go bowling... again.

- Take photos for Original Content Week! I'd better have something good next week, or you all will wish I had just scanned images from magazines after all...

-Get a pedicure, and treat my nieces to pedicures while I am at it.

-Have a Madison Park morning.. get breakfast at the bakery, wander around, shop, drool over Pam's latest shipment from France... hunt for Christmas gifts. (Photos of her shop below.)




-Send a memo to the office to remind everyone that "impactful" is not a word.

I DECLARE... next week is Original Content Week.

She looks kinda original to me.

Yep.

I do it, you do it. We all do it... sometimes we do it too much.

I was just visiting another blog and I saw images from a publication I JUST READ. It's one thing when people scan and post old photos from magazines to kind of tie together themes and ideas from different points in time, but totally weird when some people are posting things that just hit the newsstand. I was thinking how bloggers have such a huge opportunity to get to new content first, like when our friend Habitually Chic had a pretty fantastic behind-the-scenes look at the recent H & G spread on G Paltrow.

BUT, with Habitually Chic excepted, since she attacked it with a totally different & unique angle, I think some of us need to reevaluate how much we are using our blog to react to what was *just* published. Scanning it and posting it and rehashing it isn't the point, right? Blogs actually have a chance to publish a new idea faster than those dinosaurs who go to print only 12 times a year, so why don't we take advantage of this?

So... who is with me? I officially declare next week (starting Monday) as design blog "Original Content Week."

This means, no magazine scans... and if you borrow photos from the web, you need to be making a new point about something. And... for the love of god... no images from dominomag.com. (I am guilty, too, so don't worry, I scold myself at the same time I scold you, fellow decorno blogger..)

Who's in?

Best wedding photographers...

Photo by Bradley Hanson


Speaking of wedding photographers, these are the people I would take out a loan to hire:

Tina Carlone
Meg Smith
Christian Oth
Anna Kuperberg
Dacia Pierson



Photos by Meg Smith

For Megan at BeachBungalow8...

Your door post reminded me of this excellent wedding photo by Seattle's Bradley Hanson, taken at the justice of the peace... I love it.

Good Spirits, by AJ Rathbun - THE definitive cocktail guide.

My friend AJ Rathbun just published THE definitive guide to cocktails, complete with gorgeous full-color photography.
AJ is a riot, and the book is fantastic. Help make him almost-rich buy stocking up on this book to give to friends and co-workers for the holidays.

Click here to go right over to Amazon.com to buy it now...

If you like Obsolete, you will love TROVE.

Checking my site traffic I noticed a few people coming from blogs that don't actually link to me, so digging around I realized it's because both sites referred to a store called Obsolete which I wrote about here.

So.... I was thinking, if they love Obsolete, they will really love TROVE, which I previously blogged about back when no one read my blog. So, click here for a re-run. Enjoy!

***********

I just emailed this to a friend:

We have to get our guns and our ski masks and and a getaway car (or truck, in this case) and drive to Laguna Beach, CA *now* and break into this Trove store and steal absolutely everything they have.

I mean it.






I can't even decide what I would grab first? If I were a Hampton's girl (or San Juan Island girl, in my case) and had people chumming up to me for gratis stays every summer, I might like those brutal and sinister lobsters. A kind of "thanks for coming, don't overstay your welcome" gesture.



Or I might be most inclined to take the amazing banquettes. In fact, yes, the banquettes. Heart-stopping.





I'm ready to move into Trove.

I spy.... James Nares.

***UPDATE*** Well, looks like it's a case of been-there-done-that... Habitually Chic has already covered this topic... see her fine post here:




Sifting through old Elle Decors to get more ideas for my house, I realized just how many NY people own a painting by Nares. Love, love, love.

Tonight I will post a few photos of homes featurng some of his paintings.

They aren't even hot.

I don't get them (above), I don't get it (their show), I don't watch it, and I don't understand their fame. I think he looks like Beavis and she looks like she'd leave your baby in a pool to run an grab her Sidekick if she heard it ringing. They are both so totally disgusting I can't even articulate my disdain.

I can kind of understand why millions of weak-minded evangelicals want to keep an authoritarian moron like Bush in the White House. I do kind of see how that can happen. But THIS? Why do people ever care? I need to know. Is it like watching a train wreck? If so, I guess I could understand.

This guy is not hot. Why is she so proud to be with him?

It's all way too disturbing for me to be contemplating this early in the morning.

Domino's Best Young Decorators

The April '07 issue of Domino featured what they consider the best young emerging talent.

Here are links to sites for those who have them. I was shocked by the variety in both quality and design in these sites. Some are great. Some... not so much. ( Mental note - - If design was my job and passion, I would hope that I would fork it over for professional site design and - above all - a professional photographer.)

What does everyone think? It's too bad Michael Bargo doesn't have his portfolio online... judging by the Domino profile of this place, I would want him to decorate for me.

Kara Mann
Margaret Ann McEver
David Harris
Ashley Whittaker
Michael Bargo
Sarah Story
The Desk of Lola

I'm painting the dining room.

My fiance's son said he thought the color we have (a cream that looks yellow when we have lamps on and no daylight) is "the kind of color people pick when they don't know what color they want."

Wow. He's only 12 and he pretty much vomited a bunch of design-y opinions about our house for the first time and he was totally right about everything.

He also said, about the sad wallcolor, "It's kind of 'cat-person.'" So devestating (and yet so awesome. I am totally going to start saying that).

Here's the problem in a nutshell... we have a Tudor. I love our house, but I am used to old apartments with mouldings and white chalky walls that let all your good stuff pop, like a great lamp, a nice photograph, a statement-y console. What I learned from this house is that you can't decorate for what the house needs. This house kind of says, "Put a bunch of Pottery Barn in me." And I see now that I made a lot of dumb compromises. Really dumb ones. I always loved my apartments because I kind of just did whatever I wanted, and I felt like I knew what worked in them... white, white, white (although I did have one awesome chartreuse apartment in CA...), black, strong lines, interesting objects, cool photographs... a graphic mix of things that I really loved. This house, well, it's been tricky.

Anyway... two coats of white primer have now covered up Benjamin Moore's Georgian Brick (red) paint in the dining room. It's like a new day in this house. Seriously, it looks almostyoung in this place. I think my house must feel like we finally took the Privos off her feet and we're just about to slip on a stiletto.

It's going to get interesting around here. I can't wait.

Here are some random photos for the ol' inspiration file. Oh, and tomorrow is the Sand Point Antiques & Design Market. I cannot fucking wait. I've missed the last 3 because I happened to be either on vacation or traveling for work, so this is a big deal for me. Last time, I really scored. I hope to score again. Especially since I am dragging my friend JJ out of bed at 7:30am, when I am to pick her ass up and take her with me.

Let's buy art.

Let's look at our closets and all the pricy bags and shoes. Let's look at the ill-fitting dresses we thought we could Atkins our way into. Let's look at the 10th tube of Nars gloss and ask ourselves:

How much of this would have bought me a painting?

Here are snaps by Tina Barney for the NYTimes about NY "society" chicks who also happen to be young collectors, standing in front of their goods.

Let me be your travel agent.

Like everyone else these days, it seems that we are so freaking busy at my office that people are actually scheduling a lot of their time off next year now. I am usually not that much of a planner, but I am starting to figure out the next vacation...

which led me to a little bit of wishful vacation planning this Saturday as I perform my ritual of drinking a pot of coffee, reading the news on NYTimes.com since I am too lazy to go get the local paper that's sitting outside of the front door, and watching my dog gleefully chew something as he sits spooned up next to me, delighted as he realizes that NO ONE IS LEAVING HIM TODAY for that mysterious place we go Mondays - Fridays.

Saturdays are for dreamin', kids... so let's start dreaming about our next getaway.

8 FRIENDS RENT A VILLA IN ITALY
Yeah, it's not cheap (about $6500 for one week in April - July, with peak rates effective in Aug) but that comes out to only $812 per person for this gorgous rental on the Amalfi coast. That's $135 per night, per person. You can hardly stay at a HoJo for that.
If we went with 3 other couples, packed a few editions of Trivial Pursuit and bought cases of wine when we arrived, that would be heaven. Sleep, sun, trivia, wine, friends, reading, staring at the water. That is pretty much how to live the dream.





You can read more about this rental here.

PARIS

Or you could say at this apartment in Paris (Marais, near the Picasso museum) for EUR 120 per night or EUR 720 for a week. Click here to read a Cottage Living article about a US transplant to Paris, describing her favorite parts of this excellent neighborhood. You'll be in walking distance to nearly everything great, and a short cab or subway ride to everything else.







The goal is to take the trip of a lifetime once a year. And it's really not that expensive to do it, right?

Hot bi-sexual model. (You feel dirty, don't you?)

Every time I want to send a link of this blog to my boss, I pause and say, um, no. Not because he's a prude, but because our filth-filters at work might flag me as some kind of kinky monkey.

Fashion Addict Diary (the stated name of the blog that happens to live at this saucy address: hotbisexualmodel.blogspot.com) is the best fashion blog for two reasons...

1) That bitch doesn't post much, which drives me insane... it also makes her like a limited edition Louboutin shoe, I suppose... coveted and hard to get.

2) When she does post, she kills. I mean, SLAYS. Her fashion taste-level is intimidatingly never off, and god forbid you get caught in her cross-hairs. It's would just be OVER.

And that, of course, is why it's the best fashion blog out there. I mean, what's fashion without the bitchy side-show?

Big clunky high-vamp sandals with your floaty dress.

Well, it's official... remember SJP on set wearnig the white dress (w/ flower attacking her) and those clunky high-vamp sandals?
Enjoy the same look in this runway snapshot (from left, Chloe, Lanvin, Stella):



Ny Mag fashion blog

I don't mind the look. On a model, it's pretty rockin'. I do, however, worry about the stern makeup from the Lanvin show... I don't like a matte lip in browny-red. I fear the return of the Robert-Palmer-addicted-to-love face. Let's all resist.


Lanvin... we all still love Lanvin.

Don't hedge your bets.

Now, this post, if you need to Cliffs Notes version, is all about why you should just quit hedging your bets and throw your whole damn self into something.

Buster McLeod is actually a guy named Erik, who started a very cool social club here in Seattle called The McLoed Residence (this link is temporarily down...), a place where members can drink together, enjoy the art at the private club he bought and fixed up, and even run a tab and get billed monthly (that, along with my new Mercedes, will make me feel uber chic, for sure).

Anyway, Erik (Buster) decided to do a whole bunch of crazy you-only-live-once shit, and he documents a lot of it on a very cool website he co-founded, called www.43things.com

Here is his treatise on NOT hedging your bets in life. If you make it through his VERY long essay, you will be rewarded with his 6 answers to any problem, which I know Decorno readers will love.

Enjoy.

A very good strategy in life is to hedge bets. I think this strategy has been one of my greatest strengths… to consider and pursue multiple (sometimes incompatible) options until one surpasses the others in obvious value. Then taking that, until something else surpasses it in obvious value. This will get you through high school, college, and well into your adult life. Old age even maybe. Keep lots of friends, consider lots of jobs, anticipate a variety of possibilities. If one ship starts to sink, shift your weight into another. And be sure to get your foot in another door quickly. Balance balance. Mix metaphors, thrive in ambiguity, make many bets. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Hedging bets is common sense.

I think bet hedging is a good beginner and intermediate strategy. It works immediately, even on very little information. By being invested in a number of things, there’s a good chance that at least some of them will carry you through. The pattern of things that carry you through become your personality—your preferences and tastes. At some point, you might abandon the hedge bets strategy for the more specific pattern of success that you’ve discovered from trial and error. Or you might not.

The McLeod Residence.

You will win some, and you will lose some. It’s almost a universal fact of life. The strength and the curse of the bet hedging strategy is that you’ll never be fully invested in any of your pursuits. You’ll always have a fall-back. With a fall-back, you will never be fully invested (in the metaphorical sense of the word) in any of your pursuits. The difference between hedging your life and hedging your bets is that life is impacted by your investment in it. The more invested you are in something, the more likely it is to become a reality. Imagine if this were true in gambling. Imagine that the more you bet on something, the more likely you were to win. Wouldn’t we bet quite differently then? And, therefore, wouldn’t we live quite differently if we truly believed that the amount of investment we have in life were a critical factor in the chances that the desired life will come to be?

Over the last year, I’ve stumbled backwards onto this counter-intuitive life strategy. The strategy of being 100% in the game, all or nothing, going for broke. In it to win it. This is an advanced strategy that, executed at the right time, can beat bet hedging a thousand-fold. No more dilly dallying. No more hedging bets. I’ve found a couple bets that I want to be 100% invested in. It could of course also lead to rock bottom. No good friend would recommend this strategy, but good friends don’t expect you to win big. To their credit, they really just want you to be happy. More than they want you to succeed, they want you not to fail big. Who will egg us on to a wild and extraordinary life if it requires that we risk ruin? Who will demand that we go out with a giant bang and stretch ourselves to crazy unheard-of limits? Only I can take the responsibility for giving and taking that advice for myself. And that’s what I’m notifying you about here. What I’ve found, is that once people see that you’re in it to win it, and see that you’re acting accordingly, they loosen up their hedges on you and are able to, in return, invest more of themselves into you. It’s a virtuous cycle that leads to everyone living a more extraordinary life.

To repeat, being in it to win it isn’t a risky strategy. The non-intuitive part of this is that hedging all of your bets is risky in the long term because you’ll never put enough of yourself into your life to really get the most out of it. The act of being 100% invested in your life and your projects and your friends will by its nature make it a safer bet, and people will feel safer having you on their side, and might even be inspired to help. If this is all there is, you should make sure that at least once in your life, you are 100% invested. Intuition understands this. In movies, or in stories, where everything is threatened, it is understandable that then it is appropriate to act in this manner… but in daily life our lives and everything we know are rarely threatened on a tangible and immediate level. Instead, the slow molasses of time threatens only small parts one at a time, never raising our alarm that this entire ship is slowly sinking all the time! It’s really a reason to celebrate, relax, and stop dilly dallying.

This is what my new life has become. My name change, my new business, my old business, my friends, everything and nothing, all of this will be wrapped up in a new strategy for living an extraordinary life, rallying people, and creating a bigger idea about what life can be that we can then all step into. Starting, officially, now.


6 universal answers to any and all possible questions, according to Buster McLeod:

drink more

break up

move

quit

dress better

consider getting a pet fox

Should you buy a car to match your clothes?

I think the answer is yes.

In this case, I've wanted a vintage Mercedes (or similar) for some time. After getting the vintage fur stole, I realized you can't really wear it in a VW bug (green.... my current car). I think a 1973 Mercedes Benz 280 SEL 4.5 is more appropriate.

I need this.

My fiance says he supports my desire to have a classic car, but he thinks I will only be able to handle having it for one year with all the service it will require.

Nevertheless, I am considering.

I am not even a car person, but I think I might HAVE to have this.

Any car people out their? What's your ride?

Random inspiration.

I need to build more of a virtual inspiration board for some decorating projects, so I ransacked Decor8's flickr account to borrow these images. That woman has build the most encyclopedic decor blog & flickr account. We should pay her a quarter per visit. Girl could make some cash, I am sure.

Bathroom inspiration.

I have no idea why we haven't fixed up our bathroom yet. In literally one week and for under $2k, it could be just like this humble beauty (above).

Here are others that make me with I owned 5 houses, so I could have bathrooms in a few styles. Dare to dream.

Zebra mashup.

I am finally thinking more about decor these days... maybe because my friend Jorjana has done such a rockstar job turning her living room into a glamourous deco/modern lounge. Today, I was thinking again about zebra. I'll never be over it. Never. Here are photos borrowed from Desire to Inspire and Decor8 plus a few other places.

Christmas.... thou shall be defeated.

Don't even talk to me about the little baby Jesus, because everyone knows Christmas is about making sure that you GIVE properly and without over or under-doing it so that you can avoid all the horrible weird holiday politics.

The other thing about Christmas is that it's a test for women. It's like the GMATs of womanhood. As in: DO YOU HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER?

Because my industry is retail, by the time Nov 15th hits, I am already DONE with the season. Burnt out. I was placing holiday orders in August, so I am exhausted thinking of the holidays and, not to mention, I am just plain tired because my job exhausts me.

That said, I still have to get Christmas done.

Normally, I am on Amazon.com on Dec 22nd, buying books for friends, sporting equipment for the nephews, and electronics for the fiance at the final hour. But this year, I totally fucking refuse to sweat it. Right here, I declare war on the holiday.

CHRISTMAS: I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

That's right. I said it.

Here's the gameplan:
1) The boss gets a case of wine like last year. Next week I am rounding up the money in advance so that the office isn't paying me back in March.

2) The girls in the office are getting Voluspa candles. I have decided to be a little bit Marian McEvoy-ish in just picking out something small and yummy and sort of buying en masse for my office pals.


3) I am VERY fussy about wrapping paper and ribbon, so today I am going to go buy all my holiday ribbon in bulk from the fabric store, and I am going to go get all the wrapping paper and kraft paper I could possible need for the rest of the year.


4) Gift tags - I bought plain white tags yesterday that I like to string onto fat silk ribbon and tie to bottles of wine, etc. I am all set in this department, except that I think I do prefer the pre-printed ones from Watson & Kennedy (super fab gift shop in Seattle... this is the store Mrs. Bill Gates turned to for wedding gifts for their guests). These tags are kinda snotty and utilitarian all at the same time.


5) Cards. I am ordering this week. Parts of my family just get cash or gift certificates since, well, that's what they like. All these are to be mailed no later than Dec 10th.

6) Emergency gifts: You have to keep 6 bottles of wine at the office with ribbon and tags ready to go in case you get an unexpected gift from a co-worker. The booze arrives at my office no later than 12/15 (since some people leave on vacation and might spring a gift on you beforehand).

There's a lot more to do, for sure, but this will help me get a head start. Stay tuned on my progress. And let me know if any of you have Christmas down to a science. I could use any and all advice.

Gwyneth. Why we should love her smugness.

Gwyneth.

So, Leah from the kickass blog morewaystowastetime.blogspot.com asked for a post on Gwyneth, so ye shall receive. And because I am so awfully snarky, I think people assume I would bag on her for the usual reasons:

- she's blond
- she's perfect
- she's a little smug
...and she's cold.

And that last one is really it, I think... she comes across as cold. And really WASP-y for a girl who is descended from a long line of rabbis.

But here's the thing about Gwyneth - you know that list below of things we love? I guarantee that she loves all that shit, too. And the things we HATE (Tiffany, fake-fancy stuff, etc etc), I am pretty damn sure she agrees with most of that, too.

I think we hate her for her coldness and even her whiff of superiority when it comes to being the kind of mother who takes time off her raise her kids; she does have a holier than thou-ness about her decision to stop working and be a parent. GP said, “I made the mistake of working too much and it turned out to be really the wrong thing. I just had a lot of life in 10 years. I worked so much for so long. I achieved a lot early, but I wasn't very happy. At this point in my life, I have a real life.” To hear her say, "I wasn't very happy," and then to know she did something about it is nice to see.

I would pay money to hear "I wasn't very happy" come out of Britney's mouth.

I think a lot of good women, especially the holier-than-thou moms (who happen to drive the living crap out of me) are not bad people. In fact, as obnoxious as it seems, I think a lot of women in relationships and especially with children struggle all the time to keep it together. (Yeah, even rich Gwyneth and even with nanny help.)

How *do* you raise a kid in this grossly child-obsessed culture when all the Joneses are trying to keep up? How do you raise them while trying to keep your career on track, look hot for your husband, etc. etc? I think those women who do this with such grace and finesse are saints. And for those who are less saintly, and a little more uptight, you know what? If uptight helps you keep your head screwed on straight, and helps you keep yourself on the rails, I say, more power to you.



I actually like Gwyneth's slightly superior attitude. I think she really doesn't care what people think, and I think her point in saying things like, "People have become inappropriate. People have pushed too far. People have climbed one too many fences. I'm just tired of it," sounds snotty coming from Glossy McPerfect herself, but honestly, this is a woman who has decided she won't be tabloid fodder, and has controlled her life and image in such a way that she can't be easily exploited by Life & Style. She, in fact, chooses to expoit House & Garden for her second coming. Brizilliant.

That kind of near-bitchy, controlling, uptight attitude comes from a woman who wants to life her life on her own terms. We should love Gwyneth for that.

Of course, it's more amusing to make fun of her weird Donatella look here, so let's have one last laugh (image coming as soon as I can find the damn thing...the one of her on the cover of W magazine looking like the niece of Donatella Versace, weird nude lips, spray-tan and all... ) before we all hold hands and agree that GP is the first ever Official Decorno Annoying Celeb We Love Anyway winner.

Things that are right...now, always, forever.

To follow up on my bitchy rant about things that are so very wrong, here's something a little more uplifting for the kids.

My official list of things so right and good and stylish and pleasing that they cannot go out of style.

The ring he gave you. I know a few girls now who have actually UPGRADED their wedding or engagement rings. Seriously. This one chick actually just stopped wearing hers until he got the message and bought her a massive new rock. But I do know one woman who wears this old 80's-style gold ring with a marquis diamond and it's exactly the kind that if you got it today you would think, "Is this man my fiance or a fucking 80's time machine?" and you would want to throw the ring back. BUT, when I look at that ring with its slightly dated setting, it really makes me think, "Damn, TWENTY years of marriage." That's impressive. And that's what the ring says to everyone.

The ring he gave you, no matter what, is always right.

La Mer face cream. It's really, truly as magical as they say.

Really good shoes. The first time I even owned shoes that cost more than $250 was just 3 years ago. News flash: I still have them, wear them, and they are still super glamorous. Megan from beachbungalow8 and I were chatting each other up over email today about "investment" pieces. Like a great piece of furniture, shoes are worth it. You'll look great, feel better, and you'll waste less money over time....



Pencil skirts. I guess we're lucky because they are back in a big way, but really, they are never out of style. It's always ok to wear a black pencil skirt and a shrunken black cashmere top and some killer pumps. Sexy secretary circa 1950 is always hot and classic.

White dinner plates. I don't know why people want to eat food off of anything but a blank canvas. Fussy plates with gold trim and images of fllowers and neighing horses? Are you serious? Humble white plates, please. Your food should be the decoration.


A classic 80s-style gold rolex, especially the men's size, but worn on a woman. I have seen this a lot lately and I think to myself, damn, that is genius. See Jennifer Jason Leigh's photograph in the current issue of New York magazine.

New York City. Give me a break with this LA-as-new-center-of-US-culture. I know good things are happening there, but it's still the land of hair-plugged Ari-Gold/Jeremy-Piven-like Ed Hardy-wearing desperate loser "industry" guys. NY, no matter how gentrified it gets, is still New York. When you can walk past a woman who so clearly has a net worth of over a bilion dollars and then smell urine in a doorway just a half block away, you know you're in the headiest mix of people and culture that this country has to offer.

The classic white woven shirt. Carolina Herrera is the patron saint of this article of clothing.

Working your ass off. With magazines like Real Simple preaching this impossible idea of having your shit together on all fronts, you're just left thinking you fail at about 12 things. So, I am official declaring working your ass off (professionally) as something that is right always, now, and forever. It's a very American thing to do, very Gordon Gekko, and you know what? That's ok. While other people are asleep at the wheel trying to find "balance," you and I will just get into the office early, work harder, and make more...all while wearing the fab-again gold Rolex and smiling knowing that at age 50, we get to stop, while someone else is trying to schedule their stupid relaxing Canyon Ranch zen colonic getaway between business trips.

Zebra rugs. Even if you think their moment will soon pass, really, it won't. Why? Few people really have them. It's just a design-y little fetish that Decorno types have right now. But a zebra rug is always funky and cool and will always help you say, "Yes, this is a fussy old dresser, but made less uptight because I have this crazy shit on the floor." Zebra rugs 4-ever.

Forgiving a debt. Especially as you get older, and you still remember that $300 you gave your friend to cover rent... if he's living in a shack and you've had a good year, forget it. When it comes up say, "I swear you already wrote me that check." If you're running around being Gordon Gekko minding the new rule of working your ass off, you have the pay the karmic piper somehow.



Looking like yourself. Your totally freaking glamourous, fabulous self. Anh Duong is like that kind of weird striking beauty. Somehow the American ideal has become stripper-i-fied. I mean, take yesterday's NY Times article about "mommy makeovers" - - apparently the new trend to get post-baby plastic surgery. I totally understand if you want a tummy tuck and a breast lift to feel good about yourself, but when you look HERE at these women getting the procedure, there is nothing elegant about them. They look like they are desperately clinging to their high school cheerleader days. Let's say fuck you to the stripper aesthetic and fully embrace a better version of you, the Anh Duong policy of being the prettiest odd face you've ever seen.

"Fake Empire" by The National. Go get it. Now.

About once a year (or less often) I hear a song so good I have to obsessively play it over and over and over again because to know that music is out there in the world and not keep it on constant rotation is some kind of violation.

This is that.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. She looks like Miss Havisham.

Let's discuss:

1) Hello weird chest bones. SJP - please eat a brownie or two.
2) Where are her breasts?
3) It's either your ass or your face... as women age, you kind of have to choose. Sarah - we're saying more junk in the trunk if it means you can get a little more fat in your face. Look at you!!! You are nothing but bones... having sex with you must be like having sex with a pile of paper clips. You're falling apart!
4) Get that feather out of your head.
5) Minus the fact that the breast-y bits look like they will fly away, that is one amazing dress.

Hurry up and finish that damn movie and bump up the release date, girl. We like you, but if Perez keeps blasting photos of you every day, we will have seen the whole movie flip-book style before the end of the year.