Greatest hits. Or something like that.

This is a busy time for me every year because of my job. You can probably tell since I am practically phoning in my posts these days.

So, to keep you entertained in case I don't get the chance to post in the next few days, here are some oldies:

What I think about FAMILY.

Why I wear JIL SANDER perfume.

What I think about NEW YORK and how that city represents a kind of optimism that makes me feel young.

Why you shouldn't wear FLEECE JACKETS to your office or wear dumb shoes (psst, Seattle, I am talking to you).

Decorating for BEGINNERS (there's more help in the comments section than I managed to provide.)

The SIX UNIVERSAL ANSWERS to all questions in life and a long essay by a very cool guy who doesn't believe in hedging your bets in life. I think you should read it.

I'll pay you to tell me what to like.

Hi, we live in NY and have a sassy apartment and paid someone to make us mixed tapes so that our music matches our life.


From the NY Times article:
While Muzak has for decades created what it calls “audio architecture” for commercial environments, it is just in the last five years that a handful of music consultants, mostly in New York and London, have begun to specialize in creating custom domestic soundtracks. From Aspen lodges to bungalows in Belize, they are compiling playlists to match their clients’ décor.

Read it Here.


It occurs to me that I shouldn't post in the morning when I am such a grouch. Cuz when I think about it, I would pay someone to peel an orange for me, for god's sake. And the only reason I ever used to have new music on my ipod is because my unpaid assistant, I mean fiance, would do it (I now do it myself. I know, big achievement, huh?).

Nevertheless, something about this NY Times story bugs me. What is it?

Talk dirty to me.

Ok, not really. I don't want to hear the nitty-gritty.

But I did just read HERE that married people are having sex about once a week. Really?

What about you? Please let us know if you are:

Married, engaged, single, dating, gay or straight and how many times a week you are getting laid.

Bonus points if you have ever gotten laid in the sweater mentioned in the post below (kudos to you!).

Anthropologie

Does it ALL have to look like this? Does it all have to look like something your textiles-major RISD intern stitched up for her thesis exhibition? Does it HAVE to look like the craft fair exploded? Does it HAVE to be so fucking clever and over-detailed?

How about something that fits? How about something that is not an empire waist? Anthro clothes are for women who no longer want to get laid, or who are already dating a boy who isn't interested in sleeping with girls anyway.



There. I said it. And I feel better now.

Temo.

From HERE.

Oh, Sarah.

I could hooker-up your look for way less than $150k. Trust me.

Those boots are just too trashy on Palin. Maybe because she's already a little trashy.

Condi did it better.

The guilty spend.

I only buy J Crew hair clips. They are $10 dollars. Each. For plastic.

If my mother knew, she would kick my ass.

But they are worth it. I have thin-ish hair and they have perfect grip, have a certain weight to them that makes them feel more like an accessory than some Rite-Aid emergency hair gripper.

I also felt a deperate need for diamonds recently (ok... for a WHILE now). And even though we are all supposed to be saving, I bought a ring. Maybe it's that last-gasp before the belt tightening.

And even with belt-tightening, my shoe problem is still a problem. I tried to buy a sub-$100 pair of heels recently, and had to return them. Something about a plastic sole sucks the life out of me.

So there you have it. I still spend like an asshole. My mother would not be proud. She sent me an email recently imploring me to "stock up at Win-Co" and "think like a Pioneer." (Only an Oregon mom would say that.)

What is your guilty spend? What dumb thing do you insist on buying... something that would shame your depression-era grandparents? Have you tried to give something up? Is it working?

Spill it.

You're just going to have to live with that nasty case of the clap you've got there.

ETrade has the worst customer service of all time.

What a fucking terrible company. Terrible. Epic incompetence. And what bad management. I challenge anyone who works there to actually use their phone system and not have the net result be that they want to murder someone.

And don't even try to call a branch, because they will patch you through to their horrible call centers.

I would love to hear from any of these people to explain to them how a company with this kind of clusterfucky service is doomed to fail in the long run:

Donald H. Layton 
Bruce P. Nolop 
Matthew J. Audette 
Russell S. Elmer 
George A. Hayter 
C. Cathleen Raffaeli 
Daryl G. Brewster 
Ronald D. Fisher 
Donna L. Weaver 
Michael K. Parks 

I am actually going gray now.

I am 31. I stood in the dressing room at J Crew today and started... inspecting. (Don't you all do that? That "Hey, while I am in this really bad light squeezing my cheesy thighs into this pencil skirt built for co-ed's body, why don't I stand here and look at all the things that might be wrong with me" once-over.)

Today it wasn't 2 or 6 or 16 gray hairs. It was a patch of grey up top... like they were assembling to plan the coup. Fuckers.

So whereas I used to color my hair to, you know, darken it a bit, keep it from being so mousey, coloring my hair is now officially yet another JOB that I have. Just what I needed.

I recently started using Clairol Perfect 10, which is perfect for me, since I HATE GOING TO THE SALON. You can do the whole deal in the shower instead of that horrible 25 minute wait with the shit dripping all over the place. Magic. Seriously.

For the record, when my hair gets as gray as the woman in the photo, I will do as she does and just rock it. Cuz that is magnificent hair. And it will be mine one day, this I know. (Thanks, mom.)

She killed it.

Did you see Adele on SNL last night? Did you think, "Who is this girl?" and then as she really got going did you think, "Holy shit."




Or listen to her sing it stripped-down and acoustic.


Me likey.

Why I don't like skirted tables.

The fabric is always hiding an ugly table. Or worse.




If you like the look at top and want to see this foyer makeover (sans pink thing), click HERE.

Ippolita.

Love THIS, and so many other good things from Ippolita.

It's sorta decor-related.

THIS.

Don't miss the oil rigs in the background. Love that. The whole thing is pretty interactive. I just moved my cursor over the curtains and a gun fell out. That made my day.

Again, thank you, Carrie. You always send me the best stuff.

The Gays.

Glen Senk and Keith Johnson, purveyors of everything your straight, 30-something, somewhat-happily married female self LOVES to buy at Anthropologie. Oh, and by the way, look how fucking happy they are. Proof that their relationship is better than any of the 5 marriages my mother had.



In the last post, someone left this comment:

Hey Decorno: can you please use your influence to send some help our way? There's tons of anti-gay money coming in from out-of-state.

http://www.noonprop8.com

Love,
Gay Decorator in SF


The answer, of course, is yes.


This is a decor blog that often takes political detours, but this is a perfect example of the intersection of design and politics... and I am going to lay it out for you here:

DECOR IS THE GAYEST THING EVER.

Gay-givity-gay. Gay, gay, gay. If you've ever fixed up a happy little tablescape, if you've fretted over moldings, if you've debated the right shade of white, if you've ever said, "Oh snap", if you watch Top Design, if you love Simon Doonan (who doesn't???), if you're inspired by about 35% of the homes and apartments in every issue of Elle Decor, Met Home, or House Beautiful, well, you are an honorary homo. Sure, that probably sounds all stereotype-y, but whatevs. You and I know that the world of design is a gay world. (Yes, both meanings. I'm so clever!) We all love the world of design because everyone gets to indulge his fantasy of the perfect home and perfect life. But getting to love and marry the person who makes you swoon and supports you and is willing to play the put-the-toilet-seat-down game with you for the rest of your life shouldn't be a fantasy and it shouldn't just belong to straight people.

I am not sure I can convince people who are against gay marriage to be for it. I doubt that. But 'tis the season to outspend those motherfuckers. So do right by our gay & lesbian friends and give a little money today. If Prop 8 passes, it will ban same-sex marriages in California. Honestly? We have nothing better to do than this? Really? Oy.

Click HERE to give today, beacause we need to tell everyone in the decor blog world the truth:

If Prop 8 passes, Elle Decor, Domino, and Met Home will fold, Benjamin Moore and Pratt & Lambert will stop making paint, 1st Dibs will go out of business. Those are FACTS, my friends. FACTS. This is why you must act today.

Gay decorators: please back me up on this. Leave your comment below.

I don't like fountains, as a rule. But I think I might like this one a little.


From the Zagat's big vacation home HERE. The interiors are a bummer, FYI.

News of the world.

It's 5:40. It's way too early to be up on a Monday morning, but I have a lot of work to do.

No new posts for you. Why? Well, there's nothing new in the world of decor. Nothing. I just flipped through my new Domino book. If you already have stacks of the old magazines, you don't need it. It's all recycled. I'm disappointed.

The Macaroni Off went well, for those who are following along. 6 entries, about 15 eaters, many rounds of voting, lots of me trying to pay off the kids to vote for me. In the end, my fiance's brother won with a recipie that seemed very similar to a Martha Stewart version a few of you recommended a few posts ago. It was all totally fun, I highly recommend you throw a competitive potluck. I was surprised how everyone got into it. The only bad thing was that I forgot to go buy a cheap old trophy at a junk store, glue macaroni all over it and spraypaint it gold. I mean, if I had known there would be a trophy involved, I may have stepped up my game.

Let's see... in other news, I was reading THIS article about Andy Martin, the man responsible for starting so many rumors about Obama, and I enjoyed this tidbit about Mr. Martin:

He is a law school graduate, but his admission to the Illinois bar was blocked in the 1970s after a psychiatric finding of “moderately severe character defect manifested by well-documented ideation with a paranoid flavor and a grandiose character. Wow.

In other news, after THIS, I just wanted to punch Maureen Dowd. She's beyond obnoxious.

What else? I am ready to buy. The Decorno is going to buy some cheap stocks today. Very excited about that. Sure, we may not have hit bottom, but so many good things are on sale, so why not, right? I've got a lot of years before retirement.

That's all for now. This donut farmer needs to head to work.

Bill goes to Paris.

Our beloved Bill Cunningham, the on-the-street photographer (who is, I am told, the only photographer at the Times who still uses film rather than digital) has a great audio slide show of fashion from outside the Paris shows. You can see it HERE.

You have to see Rachel Getting Married.

You really have to see it.

Movie site HERE, although the trailer really doesn't let you know what you are in for.

We don't want to give anything away to anyone reading the comment to the post, but has anyone seen it yet? If so, are you as torn up as me that Rachel (and we) never got an answer to that big question? Oh god, it is just tearing me up. What a movie.

Wha?

I nearly choked on my coffee when I read this today:

"...some towns — like Wasilla...bill rape victims for the kits used to gather evidence of sex crimes. In most places, police departments pay for rape kits, which cost hundreds of dollars, but while Ms. Palin was mayor of Wasilla, the town decided to save money by billing rape victims."

From HERE. (The whole article isn't just about Palin, so to my 4 Republicans reading this, please don't go bananas. The article is about funding contraception and family planning.)

Money matters.

If there is a part of you that thinks the economy just can't be this bad, then THIS professor of economics at the University of Chicago agrees with you. It's worth a read.

And HERE is our reminder to keep investing.

So what do we think? Are we near the bottom? How much lower will it go?

Control Alt Pretty.

So, someone wrote software that "beautfies" photos of people. Click HERE to see the slide show and HERE to read the story.

I like my Michael Cera as he is, thank you very much.

Heh, heh.

Why hasn't someone started a blog dedicated to really shitty photos from actual real estate listings? Well, someone has, and I am totally mad I didn't think of it first.

Leigh from Found Now Home sent me THIS link today. Enjoy.

Tough times call for comfort food.

We're having a Macaroni-Off this weekend. Three families making three versions of the guilty-pleasure classic. (I can't tell you how amusing it is to think I am going to show up to a potluck where everyone is intentionally bringing the same dish.)

My version has four ingredients: mounds of pasta, mounds of grated Tillamook cheddar cheese, salt, and pepper.

Does anyone have a blue-ribbon recipe to share? I was going to cook up y simple classic, but I need to lock down a victory here, folks.

The photo up top is of THIS Saveur recipe, which I attempted to make once and screwed up. Maybe I should try again.

Incidentally, this reminds me of a Comfort Food Cook-Off we had at my office a few years ago. Totally awesome. I'd never seen so many crock-pots in one room before. One girl brought small bags of Fritos, opened them up, plopped some chili, cheese, and onions in there and handed people a fork to chow down. Classy! It was excellent. I highly recommend this as a cheap & cheerful event to host. Very low pressure, as you can imagine.

Stoners.

This house is on my dog-walking route.

That is a LOT of stone. Holy cow. Too much?

Thoughts?

Ivy as lawn: Yes or No?

What I did with my summer vacation.

I was just going through the last few months of snapshots and saw this one.

Those are margaritas. The project was painting. This is pretty much how I approach all home projects. It's no wonder my house is in shambles.

Erica George Dines/Atlanta Homes & Lifestyles

Excellent lazy Sunday reading material HERE.

McCain sounds like an angry high school boy who was rebuffed after asking the girl on a second date.

Gaslight Anthem

You have to buy THIS.


If The Killers had a hot musical baby with Bruce Springsteen, this would be the result. And you know what? I am not a huge fan of either, but somehow this is what these guys sound like and it's just so good. This whole album is like the soundtrack you'd imagine for some long lost time when you were young and reckless and hoping to make out with that hot guy late at night when you were breaking curfew and wishing summer wasn't about to end.

Domino Book of Decorating

It's here.

Why don't you click here to order your copy now? That way, Decorno will make a few pennies commission and I can buy baby* some new shoes.

*And by "baby" I mean me.

I can't look at that wink all day, so here's a little something to erase Palin from your mind.


From HERE.

Wink, wink.

Based on mortality tables, Palin becoming president if the Republican ticket wins the election is about 1 in 6 or 7

It's not over.

Well, that debate watching/blogging was fun, wasn't it?

Here's the deal:

if Palin truly scares the shit out of you... or hell, if she just annoys you...Or even if you think, "Meh, she's not horrible. I mean she thinks the earth is only 6000 years old, but I bet she's totally fun at the bunko game..." ...If you truly want Obama to win and the thought of McCain making the big decisions scares the crap out of you, then you need to give money today. You need to get your blog-reading butt off the sofa, go grab your debit card, and click HERE and you need to give whatever you can tonight because these last days are crucial and we have swing states to win.

McCain announced today they are GIVING UP Michigan. Holy shit. What I love about Obama is that he ALWAYS had a 50-state strategy. He knew that individuals in every state would fund his fight against another 4 or 8 years of this Republican insanity. And he was right. But it's not over yet. Palin not sounding like a total moron in the debate may have put that McCain ticket back into play tonight. So give today to give Obama/Biden what they need to finish the fight.

Donate HERE.


President Obama with his grandparents.


And now for fun:

Have you guys seen THIS? Funny. Track suits. Always good for a laugh.

Live blogging and comments: Palin Bingo

"Can I call you Joe?"

Ugh. NO. You may not. No folksy bullshit, lady.

Who else is watching now?

Palin bingo.

Downlownd your bingo cards HERE.

Thank you, Carrie!

Design on the cheap.

Click HERE to see how college students put together their dorms and apartments on next to nothing.

And yes, that appears to be a chandelier made of plastic bags.

Merry Christmas!

Guess what you're getting today? A Palin/Biden debate! This means you're going to get an awesome SNL this week, too. It really does feel like Christmas, huh?

In other news, I want a fireplace in my kitchen.